Again& Again
by McSteamyIsToxic
Summary: Meredith/Derek AU alternate universe fanfiction. Begins when they are high school aged and will follow them to Seattle Grace. Complete with angst, heart ache and love. This is my first fanfic, please review.
1. Chapter 1

**Hey all! This is my first fic on this website. The one I was using before for this has been abandoned. No users left. **

**It's a Meredith/Derek AU fanfic. It begins in high school and will follow them until Seattle Grace. I don't intend on dragging it out for too long. Lemmie know whatcha think.**

Inspiration for fanfic: Song:  
Again & Again by the Bird & the Bee

Lyrics:  
_Again and again and again  
Do it again  
Do it again  
Again and again_

_It's a shame, it's a shame  
It's a perfect shame  
Creep under my door and we do it again, oh_

_It's easy and easy and easy and easy  
And creepy and creepy and creepy, oh  
Again, again, again, again_

_Again and again and again  
Do it again  
Do it again_

_Again and again and again  
Do it again  
Do it again_

_Again and again_

_Say my name, say my name, say my stupid name  
It's stupid how we always seem to do it again, oh_

_You're so stupid and perfect  
And stupid and perfect  
I hate you, I want you  
I hate you, I hate you, oh  
Again, again, again, again_

_La, la, la  
Again and again and again  
Do it again  
Do it again_

_Again and again and again  
Do it again  
Do it again_

_Again and again_

:::::

Update #1

::::

Meredith Grey was ready for summer this year. It would be a waste as always. Summer school was never needed for her so she was happy it never had to happen-summers were empty... if she didn't get an A the wrath of her mother, the infamous and famous Ellis Grey came down on her. That part Meredith hated the most. It wasn't motivation to not fail, it was fear of failure.

The summer would be different this time around, because junior high was over and now, now she would be a freshman in high school come August. She was ecstatic and nervous at the same time. Summers went easier because of her best friend Cristina Yang. Cristina was the perfect best friend, or person as they referred to each other. Cristina was sarcastic, cynical, she didn't take shit and she spoke her mind. Meredith admired her honesty and the way she could sum up Meredith's life's problems in a short monosyllabic sentence. Cristina admired Meredith's strength. Those who would kill to Ellis Grey's daughter were insane in her book. She was a legend but Cristina saw through all of that and the toll that Ellis took on Meredith. Every time Meredith and Ellis got in a fight, Cristina would ditch school with Meredith and they would have a girl's day; full of laughter and tears- but only from too much laughing. She hated to admit it, but Cristina loved those days. No one at school suspected a thing, two girls with 4.0s ditch school and the staff tended to look the other way. Cristina and Meredith always laughed at it, as if grades defined who people were? They knew better than that.

Boys were not a high priority on their list. Cristina could pinpoint any guy in the room and point out their flaw before any one else could notice. _Homophobe...Bush supporter...Pervert...One eyebrow_ she would sound off as any of them made eye contact with her. It kept Meredith sane and safe.

Cristina was her best friend since kindergarten. She understood her. Meredith didn't like going to the mall too often like the other fake girls of the school. They liked to play football in the park with the guys and watch medical dramas on TV. They didn't wear a lot of make; if on the rare occasion they did. They could have cared less what people thought of them.

Nothing fazed them. Pop quizzes, midterms or finals they always got the top scores, with little effort. Partying was their vice, that and laughing so hard they had to hold their stomachs.

Seattle was a little brighter for Meredith because of Cristina Yang.  
:::

Meredith climbed up the stairs of her house, the house she came home to every day. Usually empty, and quiet, but it was what Meredith was used to. Her mother was rarely home, life of a surgeon Meredith knew that line well. That line meant that her mother left at 5 am and came home around 1 am. She packed clothes, slept for a couple of hours and then left. Food was bought by Meredith mostly. A savings card her mother set up for her helped her get money out of the bank and fills the shells of the pantry. So much for home cooked meals, Meredith scoffed at the idea that her mother could have a motherly bone in her body. Dream on she told herself as she unlocked the door.

Her father? Well that was a different story. That coward left when Meredith was six years old and the only thing Meredith remembered about him was that he could down a bottle of alcohol. Maybe it was better he wasn't around she'd think.

It was 9 pm and she had been out with Cristina the entire day; walking around the city, going to book stores and just sitting and talking. Most people would have found that boring but they found it fun, laughing so hard that tears spewed out of their eyes.

It was a good day Meredith thought as she opened the door and hung her purse on the hook by the door. She kicked her shoes off and made her way to the kitchen.

"Meredith, is that you? She heard from her Mother's voice

"_Crap!" _Meredith thought to herself

Meredith- yeah it's me she answered as she half winced. Talking to her mother was not a pleasant interaction.

She said as she sighed. Maybe she was the only one who liked coming home to an empty house.

It sure _was_ a good day she thought, the joy fading from her face as she realized she would have to be forced to be with her mother.

Ellis- I got off earlier today. How was your day? She asked, unusually chipper. She was usually cold Meredith thought.

Meredith stared wide eyed at her mother, jean clad and button shirt like some house wife-,"Umm it was good really good", she tried to say with confidence but it sounded more like a question. She felt like a kid caught in the act of doing something wrong- _but what did I do?_ She asked herself.

Ellis- good. She said with a smile that seemed almost genuine. _Or was it genuine?_ Meredith asked herself. She couldn't decipher, it'd been so long since she saw her mother really smiling.

Meredith stared at her mother. This was unusual behavior for her mother. They mostly saw each other in passing as she headed to and from the hospital that occupied a great portion of her life. Meredith despised the hospital that kept her mother away when she was younger but she had grown to appreciate it now- it allowed her peace and quiet. And sadly, being away at the hospital seemed to be the greatest joy in Ellis' life.

Meredith nodded, not knowing what to say, "How was yours?", she asked, interested to hear her mother's reaction.

Ellis- it was good too. Why don't you go take a shower and then we can talk.

Meredith- talk?

Ellis nodded as if nothing was out of the ordinary

Meredith nodded back and made her way up the stairs slowly, wondering that the hell just happened.

_Am I hallucinating? Or was that my mother, acting like an actual bonafide mother??_ Meredith asked herself, while she simultaneously questioned her sanity

::

Let me know what you think please.

x

xx

Vivian


	2. Chapter 2

Yes the dialogue does switch between embedding the quotes and looking script like. It just depends on how I write it. I'll try to keep it as cohesive as possible

:::

Meredith took a longer shower than she was used to, "_what the heck was going on?"_ she asked herself as she shampooed her hair. She hadn't done any drugs in her life, but surely tonight was a hallucination. She sighed as she continued to lather her hair with her lavender shampoo, letting the aroma fill the bathroom. The hot water hit her back and relaxed her muscles as she closed her eyes and tried to relax.

She smiled as she remembered the stupid jokes she and Cristina had told that day, sitting in the grass as they watched the people in the park.

It was time for reality now she decided as she brushed her hair and changed into her pajamas. Red shorts and a black cami completed her pajamas as she clipped her hair up with a large hair clip.

Meredith took a deep breath after brushing her teeth and heading down the stairs, again trying to revaluate the situation in her head.

_Did someone die?_ she asked herself as she saw her mother sitting at the dining room table, with a cup of tea and her hands folded, she was waiting. Waiting for her. _When did Ellis Grey ever wait for anyone?_ Meredith answered herself, "_she didn't"_. She didn't even show up to her Eighth Grade Graduation because she only had an hour and Grey is in the middle of the alphabet. _I'll buy a tape of it_ was her excuse to Meredith.

Meredith shuddered at the memory of her name being called and only her friends cheering. Maybe tonight was the start of something different. Had Ellis Grey really changed? She was home from work early that was new. And she had made tea for the both of them, the passion fruit tea that Meredith loved and enjoyed as much as she could. And she looked sincere. Perhaps a change would be in store Meredith pondered as she walked into the kitchen with a small smile on her face, thinking of the what ifs.

"Mer, you made it, I thought you'd be pruned by now" she said calmly. Almost like a joke Meredith thought.

"Not completely", she replied as she took a seat across from her mom at the dining room table and self consciously put her hands on her arms. Her fingertips _were _a little pruned.

"I wanted to talk to you" Ellis said as she scooted a mug over to Meredith.

Meredith nodded, "about what?" she asked, hopeful for her answer

"Work".

"Work?" She sighed, no changes for now, Ellis Grey was a tree. "Work" she repeated clarifying, making sure she had heard correctly.

"Yes. I know I'm busy but I…"

"you what?" Meredith cut her off before she could finish.

"I got a promotion", Ellis beamed.

"A promotion??" Meredith asked with a fake smile, _Less time rather then more with me_ she sadly realized.

Ellis was ecstatic, Meredith was skeptical. "Chief of Surgery of Seattle Grace Hospital", Ellis said with a new found sincerity and confidence.

Meredith took a deep breath as her eyes were stinging, "Wow" was all she could get out.

"I wanted to talk to you, I know you're in high school now but do you need a nanny? I'll be gone most of the day. Someone has to run that hospital and now that someone is me" she said with the same beaming smile.

"A nanny??" She said wide eyed, "I took care of myself so far, I'll manage" she said, hoping it would sound bitter rather then content. Ellis was busy in her own head, too busy to notice the edge in her daughter's voice.

"Really?" she asked.

Meredith nodded. _Why do I even hope? _She muttered under her breath without Ellis hearing it.

"Thank you" she said kissing the top of her head as their moment was interrupted by a noise Meredith was all too familiar with it.

"Your pager" Meredith said matter of factly as she got up from the table with her mug

Ellis nodded

"I'm going to go to bed", Meredith said as she headed out the room.

Ellis nodded as she dialed the house phone, without saying good night.

Meredith raced up the stairs and closed her door, leaning back on the door as she let out a deep breath. The tears streamed down her face uncontrollably.

She walked over to the window to see her Mom pull out of the driveway in her big S series Mercedes

"Figures! She loves that hospital more than me", she said as she lay down on her bed, wiping her tears with her blanket

"She's never even here. I just wished she took the time to care. Nothing like going to your graduation with another family and seeing your section empty. The one person you wanted to go cant even go", she ranted in the darkness to herself.

_Broken hearts find your way  
Make it through just this day  
Face the world on your own  
Life will go on, life will go on_

_:::::_

_Reviews are loved. _

_ x_

_xx_

_Vivian  
_


	3. Chapter 3

Just another update. Enjoy, and review please.

:::::

Meredith awoke easily; lack of sleep did that to a person. She tiredly got ready for whatever the day had in store for her, thinking it could be no worse then the previous day. It was raining yet again in Seattle- something she was used to by now. But she loved the rain. Other people saw it as a horrible thing, it caused accidents and delayed traffic but it made everything a gorgeous green; that part she liked the very best.

It was cold again in Seattle. June and jacket weather surely only happened in the northwest. But Meredith took it in stride as she washed her face, brushed her teeth and combed her hair.

She slipped on some jeans and a long sleeve army green shirt and some socks before heading down the stairs.

Meredith made it to the kitchen to see Ellis there, a stark contrast from yesterday, her face angry and not at all happy. She was clutching a manila envelope

Meredith cringed, the divorce was years ago and Ellis didn't seem to care about that particular folder when it came in the mail.

Meredith made her way to the kitchen, wondering what was in store.

"Morning", Meredith said calmly as she half waved to her mother.

"What is this?" Ellis asked as she put the manila envelope on the island in the kitchen

"What's what?" Meredith asked as she opened the envelope whose seal was already broken.

"School registration for high school," Ellis read it aloud for Meredith, "AP English, Creative Writing?? What do you think, writers make money?? Do they make a difference? What do you want with your life Meredith? To be come washed up 'wanna be' best seller?

"What? No! I needed an elective- it's required. It sounded fun", she said, brushing her hair behind her ear, feeling smaller and smaller.

Ellis shook her head in disapproval, "How bout some serious classes? Anatomy? physiology?

"Freshmen don't take that."

"Ordinary freshmen don't, I thought you were above average", Ellis said as she snatched the envelope and tossed it in the trash.

"I have a 4.0!!"

"That means nothing."

Meredith shook her head, angry at her mother. "What do you mean it doesn't mean anything?"

"Doctors make a difference. We save lives. You know some writer that can pick up a scalpel and save a life? No! Aspire to be something more Meredith!"

"How do you know what I aspire to?" She asked, knowing her mother knew nothing of her.

"You wouldn't even have what it takes to be a surgeon. You have the potential and you're wasting it."

Meredith sighed, "Mom, I'm fourteen years old."

"And already failing to live up to expectations" she said as she finished her coffee without a second glance at Meredith.

"Well Mom, I don't want to be **anything** like you. Congratulations on your promotion by the way", Meredith hissed as she threw on a pair of boots and her jacket and ran out the door, "you are exceeding my expecations about how much of a failure one parent can be" she added as she headed down the stairs.

_Anyone can see my every flaw.  
It isn't hard.  
Anyone can say they're above this all.  
It takes my pain away._


	4. Chapter 4

Meredith walked out into the rain as she put the hood of her jacket up. She was headed to the one place that made her happy. No one knew she went there, not even Cristina. Who knows what she would say if she found out what Meredith did to cheer herself up.

She made it in record time she thought, blaming her anger as her adrenaline fuel. Whatever works she thought to herself as she made it to the window display that brought her the most joy.

"_hello" _ she said as she placed her hand on the glass of the windows of the pet store. She peered in to look at the puppies playing with each other.

"I missed you all" she said as she wiped her eyes, talking to the puppies as if she knew them personally.

She could hear people talking as she bent down to see the puppies on the inside of the shop, she never went in. She liked peeking in the window, walking in would change the animosity of her experience. She'd have to say hello to workers and pretend to be interested in actually buying one. It's not that she didn't want one, she didn't have the time.

"I'll see you later man", a teenager yelled not far from Meredith, throwing her out of her trance like state.

"Alright, I"ll see you around", a smooth velvety voice replied to the huskier tone before him.

He was headed her way and she didn't even know it

The skies were clearing up and Meredith saw a shadow from behind her.

"Oh I'm sorry about the glass", she said as she wiped it with her sleeve, thinking it would be an employee ticked off about her smearing the glass with her fingerprints. She turned around; her watery green eyes clashed with a pair of stunning blue ones.

"I don't work here", the tall boy said to her. He had dark almost wavy hair, and inklings of toned muscles underneath his shirt, definitely a jock she thought before coming to her senses- realizing she was crying in front of a stranger.  
He opened his mouth to say something but thought twice and closed it again.

"Oh, sorry. I have to go," she said as she began to walk off, stopping when she felt a hand on her arm.

Meredith eyed her arm, a warm hand had been placed on it, she looked back into those blue eyes as he quickly removed his hand, thinking he had done something wrong. She could have sworn this was a dream-they were they most gorgeous pair of eyes she had ever seen. And just for a moment the world stopped.

The boy looked into her eyes _so much pain_ was all he could make out.

:::::  
_Her eyes, that's where hope lies.  
That's where blue skies  
Meet the sunrise.  
Her eyes, that's where I go_

_:::::_

"Are you okay?" the boy asked her.

"Yeah", she said, hoping he would buy the lie and move on.

"You sure?" he said, searching for an answer in her eyes. _Gorgeous green eyes_ he thought to himself.

"Nothing a bottle of Jose and a straight razor couldn't fix", Meredith added with a hint of sarcasm, "I'm kidding", she said as she continued to walk off, feeling self conscious that this person would no think that she is emotionally unstable and suicidally depressed at the same time.

"I'm Derek", he said calmly, waiting to hear her response.

"I know you, why you're Derek Shepherd. Captain of the swim team, kind of a prep. Nice big, rich family. Lots of friends, a jock, a little cocky from what I hear."

Derek smiled at her sarcasm.

"You going to tell me your name?"

"You've live a block away from me my whole life. I remember all of your birthday parties. The ballons, the signs, everything" she said as she glanced behind her, wishing someone she knew would pull her away from her akward situation.

"And you never came?", he asked jokingly. _I'm sure she never came, I would have remembered_ he thought to himself.

"No, the first one I noticed I was six years old. That was the day my dad kind of walked out on me. Put a little damper on my day" she added bitterly, hoping he'd understand her lack of interest.

"I'm so sorry", he said as he searched her face, her eyes were dry now.

"Don't be."

"It's going to rain any minute" Derek said as he looked up at the darkening sky. Meredith nodded and rolled her eyes. "Have you forgotten this is Seattle?", she asked him, thinking he lost part of his mind. "I should go", Meredith added as she turned to walk down the street.

"Why would you walk home? I live down the street from you. At least let me give you a ride", he said, pleading with the pretty girl in front of him.

Meredith crossed her arms, "No".

"Please", he said, half pleading. He was curious to know what went on behind her green eyes.

Meredith was pissed, men didn't get anything the first time. _Who was he anyways?_ _Derek Shepherd? So what_ , she thought as she looked him up and down; her eyes finally reaching his face and looking into his eyes.

::::::

Sort of cliff hanger but yeah. This is Derek Shepherd.

Enjoy and review please.


	5. Chapter 5

"Fine", Meredith conceded as she felt a few sprinkles of rain on her face. She didn't want to get completely soaked and somehow Derek felt trustworthy although she only barely met him. He had grown up down the street from her and Meredith vaguely remembered seeing him around. She didn't pay much attention to the neighbors- probably because they always assumed that no one in her house was home.

Derek smiled at Meredith and she felt herself staring at his face, "Well alright then", he said as he walked with her down the street. Meredith quickly turned her eyes away from his face, feeling like she was caught doing something wrong.

They walked down the street to a bright red classic car, Meredith wasn't familiar with car brands but she could appreciate its beauty. She did notice that it looked fairly vintage and that the paint job was spotless.

Meredith looked down the length of the car and then back at Derek, wondering if this car was really his or his father's. Derek opened the passenger door for Meredith to the red car. Meredith read the insignia on the side of the car **Porsche, **it read. Meredith nodded to herself, pegging it as a symbol of an over-privileged teenaged boy.

Derek rounded the front of the car and joined her inside.

"Nice car", Meredith said as she put her seatbelt on.

Derek smiled, feeling a bit self conscious as to what she thought this said about him, "Thanks," he said as he too put his seatbelt on, "it's a bit of a bribe from my dad".

Meredith smiled, "A bribe? Nice bribe. Money works too", she joked.

Derek laughed, "He wants me to go to the same college as him".

Meredith nodded, understanding the implications of expectations and failing to live up to them in her case. Meredith looked out the window, thinking of her mother and the events of the morning. Derek noticed her sudden disengagement from the conversation, realizing there was something behind it for sure, he tried to brighten up the dim moment.

"So, you're name is still a mystery", he said, finally getting her to look back at him.

Meredith half smiled, feigning happiness in order to stop making him feel in uncomfortable, "It's Meredith", she said as Derek started the car up.

Derek pulled out of the parking spot and into the street. "So you're a freshmen?", he asked, mentally scanning the faces of all the girls he knew at school, her face noticeably absent.

Meredith nodded, "Well, I will be in August. How about you?"

Derek nodded, "I'll be a junior in August. Freshman year was fun" he said, reassuring her she had nothing to worry about.

Meredith laughed, throwing Derek off, "What are you? Obi wan? Two years doesn't make you an expert on high school. We'll talk when you've graduated."

Derek laughed at her sense of humor, "Ouch", he said feigning hurt.

They pulled onto their street, Derek still unsure exactly which house was hers. Meredith pointed, "The one on the left with the dark green trim", Derek nodded as he pulled into her driveway.

"What are you doing tomorrow?" He asked, before she could leave.

"Why? Don't you have a girlfriend? Or more then one?"

"What?"

"Red head, Addison Forbes Montgomery…God that's a mouthful", Meredith ranted, "bit of a bitch from what I hear". Or what she had heard from Cristina Yang, her best friend.

Derek interrupted her, "_Not_ my girlfriend". He said, shaking his head. He knew the rumor mill was rampant but how would a freshman know that?

"Not?", she asked as she played with the button on her jacket

"No," Derek said with confidence, looking into her eyes, wondering why she cared, hoping it was because she liked him too.

"Oh," was all she said as she opened the door to get out, "Thanks for the ride, Derek", she said as she opened took her seat belt off and stepped out.

"You're welcome…Wait!!" He said before she closed t he door. Meredith bent down and peaked her head in, "What? Do I have something on my ass?" She asked as she brushed the back of her jeans.

Derek laughed, "No. I was wondering what you were doing tomorrow, you never answered. Maybe we could meet on purpose."

Meredith smiled, _Damn those blue eyes_, she thought to herself, "Maybe".

"Is that a yes?", he asked, hopeful.

Meredith looked at him, telling herself it was better not to get involved with someone out of her league, "No".

"So it's a no?"

Meredith shook her head, "No", she said as she closed the car door.

Derek got out of the car as well and walked her to the door.

"I'll pick you up at 7:30, you look like you could use some cheering up".

"That's your answer to my maybe? Little bit of a control freak aren't we?" she teased. "It's summer by the way, don't you sleep?"

"I'm a morning person."

Meredith laughed, "Figures."

Derek, "Why?", he asked, _Is it written on my face?_ He asked himself. "Well, I want to get to know you."

"Why?" Meredith asked, skeptical.

"Why not? Take a chance. You look like you could use a little adventure."

"What does that mean?"

Derek put his hand on her shoulder for a brief moment, "Nothing. It's just that you look a little sheltered."

Meredith scoffed, "Oh right. Because life is all red Porsches and parental bribes?"

_Crap. Now she thinks I'm shallow_, Derek thought to himself. "No, that's not what I meant."

Meredith nodded, "Suuurree. And I'm the sheltered one." She said with a hint of sarcasm.

"We could start fresh tomorrow," he offered, "get to know each other. You fascinate me".

"Well, Derek Shepherd, like I said I'll think about it", she said as she looked into his eyes again, those would be the death of her. Her smile vanished as she found herself at a loss for words.

Derek looked into the small window by the door, into the dark house. "Anyone home?" he asked Meredith.

"Not usually." She said, pushing the welcome mat into a straight line with her foot.

Derek noticed the sadness in her eyes, "When then?" he asked her.  
Meredith- rare to never

"I'm sorry."

"Look," she said looking at his face again, "stop saying you're sorry. I am not some charity case."

"You're right. I'm…"

"Fighting the urge to say sorry?", she asked with a giggle.

Derek smiled back, "Trying to."

"Good. Keep trying. I'll see you tomorrow then."

Derek beamed, _Yes!_, "Can you manage 7:30 a.m.?", he asked coolly.

Meredith smiled as she unlocked the door, "Nothing is impossible", she said with a smile before heading in

Derek laughed at her saying '_nothing is impossible' _ he mused as he walked back to the car and hopped in, ready to go home. His mind was still racing though. How had he lived down the street from her and never noticed her?  
Never noticed her gorgeous green eyes? Her infectious laugh? The way her smile is crooked when she's crying? Or the way the late hazy light made her hair look golden? This he would have remembered he thought to himself as he sped down the street.

::::::  
_Can't you see if I could be anything I want to be I would be you, see,  
Can't you see if I could be anything_


	6. Chapter 6

Meredith struggled to get out of bed in the morning, it was early and this was not her ideal waking up time. Whoever said you can sleep when you're dead was probably an insomniac she thought to herself as she searched her closet for clothing options. She had gotten completely ready, sans clothes.

The clock on top of her night stand read 7:25  
I s_till have some time_ she thought to herself. 7:30 in boy time meant 7:45 or so she thought until the doorbell rang, rudely interrupting her thoughts.

"Be right there", she yelled as she scrambled for clothes. She rummaged through her pile of jeans on the chair in her room, grabbing a pair of dark washed straight legged jeans that she never hung up after washing. She grabbed a dark purple v-neck t-shirt and a short sleeved black hooded jacket, scrambling to find the other half of her shoes, deciding to forgo the ones she planned on wearing; she instead grabbed a pair of silver flats. She grabbed her wallet from the night stand and got out her savings card and a twenty and placed it in her back pocket before running down the stairs.

Meredith had to tell herself to slow down on the stair case, reminding herself that he had only waited momentarily while she got dressed.

Derek was on the other side of the door, facing away and patiently waiting to see if Meredith kept her end of the bargain and was awake. He had his doubts, especially when she mocked his morning person personality. Clearly, she wasn't a morning person.

Meredith brushed her hair out of her face as she let out a deep breath and opened the door. She smiled at Derek who had his back turned, his hands in his pockets as he turned around at the sound of the clicking of the lock.

"Morning", he said as he smiled at her, her green eyes catching his attention off the bat.

_Wow._ Meredith thought as she scanned his body, _why did I never notice him?_ She asked herself as she stared into his cobalt blue eyes.

"I didn't think you'd be early", she said, compensating for his wait.

Derek nodded, "Ah, but I'm not-it's 1:30 he said as he pointed at his watch, his black leather watch, resting below the pulled up sleeve of his red jacket. His _good looking_ jacket as he referred to it.

"Oh, well I thought that meant like 7:45 you know, in guy time".

Derek laughed, "No, it meant 7:30".

"Clearly", she said, kicking herself for making him wait. _Way to live up to every female stereotype _she told her self as she descended the stairs in front of him. Derek caught a glimpse of her face as she passed by, she looked deep in thought. He smiled thinking of what she was thinking of. All _he_ could think of was how even in the morning, surely fresh out of bed, she looked breath takingly stunning. She wasn't like the other girls he went to school with. She was different. Where they would no doubt wear mini skirts and high heels, she wore jeans and a t-shirt but managed to look as good, _No, better_, he thought.

Meredith turned back to glance at Derek, waiting for a response, "It's fine, I have four sisters, I'm used to waiting for them to get ready", he said as he opened the door to his car for her, smiling at the fact that she had agreed to this. It would be a good day he thought to himself as he made his way around the car.

_Smooth,_ Meredith mocked herself, still kicking herself for doubting his arrival, as she buckled herself up

:::::  
_You're getting older  
Your journey's been  
Etched on your skin_

_::::::_

"So, four sisters?" Meredith asked as they drove through the neighborhood.

Derek looked over, "Yeah, I feel kind of bad for my dad", he said with a chuckle

"Drowning in estrogen are we?" She teased him.

"Just a little bit, even our dog's a girl," he said with a smile as he turned the corner.

Meredith laughed thinking of two men against four women and a female dog. It was comical almost, no arguments were won by then men she decided then, they were far too outnumbered.

Staring out the window at the houses, Meredith quietly asked Derek, "What kind of bribe was it?"

"What?", Derek looked over at her.

Meredith turned her body towards him. "The car. You said it was a bribe, for what?"

"Oh, that. My dad wants me to go to an Ivy League college. Not _any_ Ivy League college, he wants me to go to Harvard. Because 'Shepherds are Harvard men'", he added, imitating the deeper voice of his father.

Meredith raised her eyebrows, _at least his father thinks he has what it takes, she thought._

"What do you want?", she asked, knowing that this was the only important thing. His hopes, his dreams, his goals would always over shadow those made for him. She knew it took courage to stand up and say no to someone who believes in you, she eagerly waited his answer.

"I'm not sure. But I really don't think I want to go to Harvard".

"A bright red Porsche is going to change your mind?"

Derek shrugged, "He thinks so. We worked on this car every summer since I could hold a wrench. Dad even had it repainted red, Harvard colors. It's like a constant reminder of what I should be."

Meredith bit her bottom lip, "Must suck having it follow you everywhere"

"Well, I try not to think of it like that. It's a gift, or so I'd like to think. But truth is I like Washington too much, I love Seattle. Its home to me and I think I'd miss it too much if I left now. You know Stanford puts a suicide hotline number at the end of their rejection letters, like if you can't go there you feel like dying? I'm more afraid of getting into the schools my dad wants me to go to, then being rejected. Because it means I can't say no then".

"But Washington has good schools too."

"Not good enough for my father, Harvard or bust apparently," Derek said as he stopped at a red light".

He looked over at Meredith who seemed genuinely interested in what he had to say, the girls he spent time with before generally only wanted to talk about themselves. This was a new feeling entirely.

"Plus I don't think you should let anyone ever make you feel like you don't deserve what you want. If you want Seattle, you want Seattle", Meredith said with confidence.

_I want Seattle…and you_, Derek thought. "I want Seattle", he confessed with confidence.

"I don't like self righteous people; my way, no highway option types. I should know, it's kind of dehumanizing and very painful when someone makes you feel like you're not capable of anything nearly good enough," Meredith replied slowly as she thought about her all her fights she had had with her mother.

Derek looked over at Meredith, her green eyes struggling to hide the pain she felt. _Who the hell treated her that way? Not an ex boyfriend? I really want to kick his ass_, Derek thought.

"Well, prove em' wrong. It's the best feeling in the world", Derek added, wondering what it'd be like to finally tell his dad Harvard wasn't his dream.

"Sure is", Meredith replied, her smile finding its way back to her face.

"The smiling is new," he teased, "I like it better then the crying", he added with a wink.

"Me too….So where are we going?" she asked as they continued to drive through the neighborhoods.

"You'll see, don't want to ruin it for you".

::::

_Inside-out, upside-down,  
Twisting beside myself.  
Stop that now.  
You're as close as it gets  
Without touching me._


	7. Chapter 7

"Ahh. Now _this_ is my favorite part of Seattle", Meredith said as she looked out on the water. There the large ferry boats docked on the cold blue water of Seattle as the wind blew the leaves on the trees. Derek had parked the car near the docks. Meredith let out a deep breath; this was the most beautiful part of Seattle, she thought to herself.

Derek smiled at her as he got out and opened the car door for her, noticing the contentment on her face. _Ferry boats do that_, he thought to himself.

Meredith turned to Derek, her hands in her pockets, "Ferry boats?", she asked.

"I have a thing for them. They make Seattle, Seattle. Plus, you can't beat the view", he said, staring at her, not the water.

Derek walked off to buy tickets as Meredith lingered behind and took in more of the view. She wished she could come here more often but it was a long walk from home and no one was ever around to take her.

Derek waved her over to the dock, putting his hand on her shoulder, allowing her to go in front of him. Meredith leaned into his hand as he touched her, feeling the warmth of his hand felt good in the slightly chilly morning.

They had boarded the ferry, the wind whipping Meredith's hair, glad that she had worn her jacket after all.

Derek stood next to her as she leaned against the railing of the boat. He lingered close to her but gave her her space, not knowing what was right in the situation. He felt some what lost, never truly being able to read what was on her mind. Meredith closed her eyes and felt the wind whip on her face, enjoying this summer day despite the early hour.  
Derek let out a deep breath, causing Meredith to look over at him; she smiled as she looked at his face. _What does he see in me?_ She asked herself.

"Why were you crying yesterday? If you don't want to tell me that's fine too", Derek said, not wanting to pressure Meredith into anything. After all, they met under unusual circumstances. He leaned against the railing, facing her.

_That boy can lean_, Meredith thought, _do I tell him my dark and twisty things?_ She wondered. "No, it's fine. It's my mother, doesn't like what I do with my life, the classes I am about to take and seems to think straight A's mean nothing. She wants me to be like her, a surgeon, but then says I don't have what it takes... The only thing I know is I do not want to be like her."

Derek nodded. _That's who makes her feel inadequate. What a joke of a mother_, Derek thought, angry at the mother who makes Meredith feel like that. He shook his head side to side, showing his disapproval.

Meredith looked out onto the water, watching the small waves the large ferry was creating, not wanting to see the expression on Derek's face. _Definitely thinks I'm a charity case now_.

"And staring at the puppies was?? Revenge? Going to get one to piss her off?"

Meredith laughed, "No, I don't think she'd even notice. I love dogs. Staring at them through the glass makes me happy. They're really cute".

The horn of the ferry boat interrupted their conversation. Meredith jumped a little at its noise. Derek winced at the noise.

Meredith smiled after it stopped. "I get the unrealistic expectations thing; my mom went to Dartmouth, so naturally I'm to go there too".

"Ivy league bound too?"

Meredith half nodded, "I don't really care what my mom thinks. Once I'm 18, I'm out of that house. I'd rather jump off the boat then commit my life to being exactly like hers."

Derek raised his eyebrows. "Geez, what's with the suicide jokes?"

Meredith shook her head, "I don't know, stop taking life so seriously. No one gets out of it alive anyway. Come on, lighten up", she said, shoving his shoulder a bit. Derek rubbed his shoulder defensively. "And violent too?" he mocked her.

"Yes, I'm a suicidal sadistic girl. How _did _you know? You shouldn't even go to Harvard Derek, don't waste your intelligence. I'll tell your dad that you already know everything life has to offer."

Derek found himself laughing; for once a girl didn't try complimenting him and buttering him up. Talking to Meredith was like talking to one of his guy friends. If his guy friends were skinny blondes with cute faces. _Thank god they're not_ he thought to himself.

Derek had listened intently at her story, she was broken. Her mom made her feel like she didn't matter and her dad, as she had mentioned the day before, was out of the picture. He admired her resiliency, and her optimism- hidden beneath the bouts of sarcasm and suicidal humor was a person who still thought that right things ought to be done and that love still existed.

Meredith felt extremely exposed and it wasn't just because of the goose bumps on her arms from the wind. She instinctively crossed her arms over her chest.

Their silence was interrupted by Meredith's stomach growling.

Derek laughed, "Breakfast?"

Meredith nodded, "Well I don't about the other girls you know, but I like to eat".  
"Breakfast it is", he said confidently as he too stared at the water, looking over at Meredith every once in a while, looking at her eyes, her nose; memorizing her features. Her delicate face, only what was behind it was battered and bruised.

_if you ever see her lying hurt don't just stare  
please get up, get up, get up and help her  
and then check her pulse and give her air  
and then listen and breathe and keep checking and checking and checking  
her heart_


	8. Chapter 8

Derek took Meredith to one of his favorite breakfast stops. A small hole in the wall diner on the water. It was a place filled with working people, ready to embark on their day. A place where there was no dress code or waiting for tables. It was simple and relaxed and the spirit of the place seemed to fit Meredith more than any other place he could think of. He knew taking her elsewhere would not impress her; no fancy coffee shops or trendy restaurants would do her personality justice. The view could not be beat either; the huge windows of the place gave panoramic views of the city and the water.

Meredith enjoyed the view; the ferry boats were soothing, the hustle and bustle of the city and the peace and quiet of the water came together in a beautiful way. _Who knew someone else could have a thing for ferry boats? _She thought to herself as she sipped her orange juice. They had remained quiet since the ferry boat, enjoying the comfortable silence between them.

Derek was surprised that Meredith ordered such a big plate, after staring at the menu for ten minutes she picked the first thing on the menu and dug in with a smile. Derek smiled to himself, remembering that most other girls would probably have ordered an egg white omelet and not a plate of pancakes with eggs and bacon, and none of them would look as great as Meredith.

After a few minutes of eating, Derek interrupted the silence, "Where _does_ all that food go?" He joked

Meredith deliberately took a huge bite of her pancakes, "Shut up, afraid I can eat more than you?"

"Not afraid, very surprised."

"Or maybe you don't eat enough. Vain about your looks?" She said, mocking him. _Him and his stupidly perfect hair_, she groaned to herself.

Derek brushed his hand through his hair, "Can you tell?" he joked back.

Meredith laughed, "Yes, definitely."

Derek smiled, "Good. Well it's my goal in life to be only concerned with myself" he quipped.

Meredith smiled, finishing off her plate.

"So, you said you wanted to get to know me?"

Derek nodded, "Yes."

"What are your favorite type of movies?"

Derek nodded, "The getting to know you thing translated to asking me a question?"

Meredith, "Well if I'm spilling details about my life, reciprocity is implied".

_Smart, too. What does she not have?_, Derek mused. "I like drama movies", he answered her, eagerly waiting to hear hers.

"I like dramas too, not the romantic kind though."

"No romances? At all?"he asked, surprised. _What girl doesn't like romance movies?_, if his four sisters were a clue, Meredith should love romance movies.

Meredith shook her head, "No. How realistic is all that Romeo and Juliet garbage?"

Derek raised his eyebrows, "Cynical?"

"Realistic." Meredith said confidently. _Juliet was an idiot. Then again maybe Romeo had perfect hair and piercing blue eyes, _she thought to herself.

"Music?", Derek asked.

"Anything really, I like anything but rap. You?"

"I like the Clash."

Meredith wrinkled her nose

"What?"

"They're okay, I guess".

Derek opened his mouth to say something, interrupted by Meredith, "I'm not dogging it, don't get all defensive there Derek".

Derek smiled, "Fine, you don't like them but I do."

Meredith nodded, "let's just leave it at that" she said, not wanting to start a debate in a diner over trivial things.

Derek, "Alright then." _Why do I feel so defensive around her? I don't want her to think I'm an idiot. _

"Favorite food?" Meredith asked, interrupting his thoughts.

Derek, "I'll eat anything".

"Same here, but I have a weakness for Italian food. I love eggplant parmesan."

Derek smiled, "My mom makes the best, you have to get used to the crowd though, four sisters and all of them are loud."

Meredith laughed, "Sounds like fun", she said as she thought of her empty childhood and the contrasting life that Derek lived.

"Color?"

"Purple."

Derek nodded, noting it was the very color she was wearing. "I like red ", he replied.

"Fears?"

Derek sucked in a breath of air, "Getting to the tough questions."

"Well you have to know what people love and hate to really know them", Meredith told him.

Derek nodded, agreeing with her, "Let's see…failure. Failing the SATs, not getting into college, cross your fingers.", he joked, "And you?"

"Not being good enough, and wanting to be like my mother but I don't want to live in her shadow. I don't want to become her. But somewhere in the back of my mind I want the surgeon thing. How sick is that?"

"Not sick…well kind of sick," he joked.

"Then what? I get the award for worst thoughts."

"I was kidding."

Meredith faked a pout and dragged her finger down her cheek to show fake tears. Derek laughed at her light hearted humor despite the heavy topics, "I know," she said.

"Good", _The last thing I would want to do is hurt you_, he thought to himself, already feeling the need to protect her.

"So, is the car a bribe or do you actually like it?" Meredith asked, truly curious about Derek's life. More like any life that wasn't like hers. She was void of teenage normalcy.

"I love it, we always used to work on cars with my dad, I remember it was in pieces when we got it and we spent every Sunday working on it. There was always this feeling that it would be mine one day. I am his only son and my sisters can't drive stick shifts."  
Meredith couldn't think of one day where she and her mother did anything together, "Lucky you," she said, genuinely feeling as though her were, "I assume you get to keep it no matter where you go to college?"

"Yeah, it was more of a subtle bribe, I'm surprised he didn't put on a Harvard bumper sticker."

Meredith laughed

"What about you? Excited to get a car in a couple of years?"

"Well I don't drive, I don't care honestly. I'm sure my mother would jump at the chance to have me be more independent."

Derek shook his head, not understanding how one person could treat their kid this way, "Why's that?"

Meredith bit her bottom lip, "Well other then the fact that she's never home, I do everything; clean, cook- if I can manage to not burn anything down and grocery shopping", she said as she cringed a little, "Which reminds me that I have to do it tomorrow- oh joy", she said sarcastically

"Well if you need company and a car- I'm here

Meredith furrowed her brow, not understanding his motives, "I don't mean to be rude Derek, you're popular, don't you want to hang out with your friends?"

Derek nodded, "I have a lot of friends, yes. But not a lot of true ones. Mark; he's my best friend, he's a true friend, but he's too busy chasing girls", he said with a grin, "and most of the others are only friends with me for the wrong reasons. Where you live and what you drive attract people sadly."

Meredith nodded, "What about Addison?", she asked with an eye roll.

"Addison who?" He joked.

"You do realize I'll be a freshman and you'll be a junior this is social suicide. I mean for you _Mr. Popular", _she teased

"Funny girl. Call me crazy but I don't care what anyone thinks of me."

"_Finally_ something we have in common", Meredith said with an easy smile.

"Good", he said with a smile as he watched Meredith look out the window and onto the water, her green eyes sparkling in the sun.

:::::  
_It's a shame now, baby, you can't see yourself, And everything you're running from.  
And it's the same world, honey, that has brought You down,  
As the one that's gonna pick you up.  
And pick you up._

_::::::_

The rest of breakfast consisted of lighter conversation and a few more laughs and giggles. _Her infectious laugh_ Derek called it in his mind as her sparkling green eyes glistened from laughing so much.  
Both had finished their breakfast and the check had been paid, after Meredith tried to pay half and Derek insisting that she didn't.

"Where to now?" Derek asked as he opened the door of the diner for her.

"I'm not the one with a car, you choose."

"The city?"

Meredith shook her head, "No, that's where my mom works; 'the brilliant Ellis Grey'", she mocked lightly

"_THE_ Ellis Grey?!? As in the surgeon?"

Meredith nodded as she walked ahead, Derek had stopped walking. Meredith turned around, "yeah, so?"

"Oh my god!"

"What? I told you I wanted to be a surgeon, **like my mother**. And it didn't click?

"No."

Meredith laughed, "Maybe testosterone clouds your mind", she joked. _Please say he hasn't met my mother._ She thought_, then he'd definitely bolt. _

"In my defense, you didn't tell me your last name."

"Oh okay, sorry there Derek. All my fault, really" she said with sarcasm.

"You're mocking me."

Meredith nodded, "Yes, profusely. Let's go take a walk."

Derek looked up to the skies had turned grey and the rain was about to come pouring down. "You do realize it's about to rain?

"Who's mocking now? And no it's not about to rain, it is raining", she said as a few sprinkles hit her face."

"See."

Meredith smiled, "That's the best time to take a walk" she said as she walked on ahead of him.

Derek shook his head, _who takes walks in the rain?_ He asked himself as he looked at Meredith, as she walked onward, letting her hair down as the rain came down harder.

_Feel the rain on your skin  
No one else can feel it for you  
Only you can let it in  
No one else, no one else  
Can speak the words on your lips  
Drench yourself in words unspoken  
Live your life with arms wide open  
Today is where your book begins  
The rest is still unwritten, yeah_

_::::_

_kind of a long update. _

_Happy New Year Everyone. _

_I have work tonight- Boo!_

_Rate and review please._

_-Viv  
_


	9. Chapter 9

Inspiration for this bit _Let Go _by Frou Frou

Lyrics: .

(great cover, if you've never heard it: .com/watch?v=eiaK8KMVgPI

And the original: .com/watch?v=fDiCr7BNVY4 )

_Drink up baby down  
Are you in or are you out?  
Leave your things behind  
'Cause it's all going off without you  
Excuse me too busy you're writing your tragedy  
These mishaps  
You bubble-wrap  
When you've no idea what you're like_

Derek looked on at Meredith, safely from under the shade of a tree as she walked on to the grass. Meredith seemed to let go of everything as she closed her eyes and looked to the sky. She was dancing lightly on her toes as she spun around, her wet hair sticking to her shoulders.

Derek smiled at her energy. All her problems seemed to vanish as she was getting soaked. He took off his jacket and put it on one of the branches of the tree as he walked towards Meredith.

_So, let go,let go  
Jump in  
Oh well, what you waiting for?  
It's all right  
'Cause there's beauty in the breakdown  
So, let go, l-let go  
Just get in  
Oh, it's so amazing here  
It's all right  
'Cause there's beauty in the breakdown_

"This is so much fun!" Meredith squealed with naivety

Derek couldn't help but smile with her, "You look like you're having fun", he said, enjoying the view.

"I am, ready to join me?", she said as she grabbed his hand. _I'd go to Florida with you during a hurricane if you asked_, Derek thought. How lucky he thought himself to be in her company. What had he done to deserve this?

"It's freezing Meredith", Derek said as he let himself be dragged by Meredith as the rain came down harder.

"So what?" She asked as rubbed her eyes "It feels good. Besides I thought you didn't care what people think?"

" I don't", he said. Meredith rolled her eyes and pulled him back to the shade of the tree he was under before. "That's it?" Derek asked, surprised that her liberating moment was so short lived.

Meredith nodded as she unstuck a piece of wet hair from her neck. "Well, it seemed a little painful for you", she said, giving him the once over and noticing that while she was soaking wet he was barely.

_It gains the more it gives  
And then it rises with the fall  
So hand me that remote  
Can't you see that all that stuff's a sideshow?  
Such boundless pleasure  
We've no time for later  
Now you can't await  
your own arrival  
you've twenty seconds to comply_

Derek shook his head, _I am a stiff uptight ass? Aren't I?_ he thought, kicking himself that he couldn't do the simple things she just did. "It wasn't, I'm just not used to it."

"Well get used to it Derek." _Wimp,_ she thought.

"Is that so?"

"Yes, it washes away all of life's problems. Or at least it helps."

"It seems that way doesn't it?" _God, I could watch you dance in the rain all day_.

Meredith nodded as she rubbed her eyes again, the water from her face dripping into her eyes. _If only you could let go,_ she thought.

_So, let go, so let go  
Jump in  
Oh well, what you waiting for?  
It's alright  
'Cause there's beauty in the breakdown  
So, let go, yeah let go  
Just get in  
Oh, it's so amazing here  
It's all right  
'Cause there's beauty in the breakdown_

Derek grabbed his jacket off the branch of the tree and draped Meredith's shoulders with it. Meredith immediately felt warmer, _Why is he so nice to me?_

Meredith looked up at Derek, a slight smile on his face, "You need to get out of these clothes", he said noticing how wet her clothes were.

"Wow Derek, you have a dirty mind there" she joked, amused by the way his face got red. _Shit! God, I'm not a pervert, I'm not a pervert._ "Uh….I meant I don't want you to get a cold", he added frantically.

Meredith laughed at his awkwardness, _He looks spastic_, she laughed to herself. "Surrre", she joked, "I'll change at home, if you'll take me?"

Derek nodded, "Of course", _I will do anything you want me to. _

Meredith zipped his jacket up around herself, his jacket hung loose on her and fell to her thighs. _It looks much better on her,_ Derek thought. "Do you need to change?", Meredith asked, interrupting his thoughts.

"No, I got a little wet, not as much as you", he said as they walked back towards his car.

Meredith nodded, easing into a slow pace towards the car.

_Slowing down for her. C'mon Derek, you can be easy going_, Derek thought, giving himself a mini pep talk on the inside.

_He actually looks at ease even though he's getting wet_, Meredith thought with a smile as she smelled his jacket while he was getting the keys out of his pockets.

_So amazing here  
'Cause there's beauty in the breakdown_

_:::_

I have work tomorrow night as well so I thought I'd get this up here as soon as I could. Hope everyone had a happy new year! I did.

-Viv

(read and review please : ) )


	10. Chapter 10

The rain continued to pour outside as Derek drove Meredith to her house, a house newly familiar to him since he had been there that morning, a house he had not noticed prior to this moment, but was glad that he could see now whenever he wanted and even more happy that he knew that girl that occupied it. This house had no defined meaning days before but somehow he knew that he would never be able to drive by it without thinking of Meredith.

Derek got out and opened the car door for Meredith as he walked her to the door, Meredith opened the door with her key, struggling to get it out of the dead bolt.

"Come in", she encouraged Derek just as he was about to offer her help with the door.

"You know if you put WD-40 on the key, it'll stop doing that."

"I have no idea what that is", Meredith answered truthfully. "You could show me tomorrow at the grocery store, if you're still up for that", Meredith said, hopeful. _Please say yes_, she thought to herself.

"Of course", Derek said, closing the door behind them. He noticed the house was finely decorated, the work of a professional no doubt. A picture frame here, a vase there- it looked like a model home but somehow it was warm on the inside, not devoid of human emotion like Meredith's mother. _It must be because of Meredith_, he thought to himself,_ she livens the place up. _

"Make yourself at home."

Derek nodded as wondered down the hallway, sitting down on the couch as Meredith ran upstairs to change, grabbing a towel from the bathroom to towel dry her hair

"Can I use your bathroom?" He asked in almost a yell, making sure that she could hear it upstairs. _Way to sound like an imbecile, _ he dogged himself.

"Upstairs, first door on the right", she answered with no hesitancy.

"Thanks", he said as he took off his shoes, not wanting to track dirt onto the pristine carpet, following her motions as he made his way up the stairs

Derek flushed the toilet as he finished up, Meredith was changing in her room.  
Derek knew he had a couple of minutes and didn't want to rush her. He was in _her_ bathroom. It smelled great he thought. Not too girly either. A purple bottle caught his eye on the edge of the bath tub: **Essential Oils Lavender Shampoo** it read in his hands as he unscrewed the cap and smelt it, closing his eyes as he took in the slightly sweet floral smell of the purple liquid. It smelt amazing, reminded him of her in every way. He repeated the name to himself, surely never wanting to forget it as he rushed to put it back in its place.

Not paying attention, Derek dropped it on the floor, and the bottle made a crashing noise. Derek cursed himself as he put it carefully back in its place this time. _Yep,you're definitely an imbecile,_ he cursed himself. Derek walked out the door after putting the shampoo back in it's place carefully, seeing Meredith exit from he room, her hair damp and up in a pony tail, a pair of dark grey sweats on and a deep green t-shirt on, accenting her eyes. To any other person, these would just be sweats but to Derek she still looked amazing. The t-shirt hugged her every curve loosely and her sweats loose enough to leave things to the imagination but tight enough to notice her legs, _her gorgeous legs_ Derek thought to himself.

"Done snooping?" _Admit it Derek, I'd do it too_.

Derek fumbled for words, "Ummm…I…", _Say something Derek. _"I'm just clumsy."

Meredith laughed, "It's fine, I'd do it too."

_Note to self; clean bathroom if Meredith comes over. _

Derek laughed as she made her way down the stairs, feeling like a kid caught with their hand in the cookie jar. Meredith's golden hair was shining in the sun and again he was reminded of the lavender shampoo.

"Up for a movie?" Meredith asked, not looking back to see the dumb expression on his face as he was day dreaming.

"Yeah, definitely", Derek said as he cleared his throat. _I really need to stop doing that_, reminding himself that his day dreaming was best done in private.

"Okay, choose a DVD, I'll make the popcorn and put your jacket in the dryer", she said with a smile, leaving Derek alone in the living room.

:::

_It's all up in the air and we stand still to see what comes down  
I don't know where it is, I don't know when, but I want you around  
When it falls in place with you and I, we go from if to when  
Your side and mine are both behind it's indication_

_:::_

Squeezed in another update in case I become scarce this weekend. Enjoy.

Read and review please. : )

-Viv


	11. Chapter 11

Derek thumbed through the DVDs set neatly next to the TV on a shelf. _No romances_ he thought to himself. _She likes dramas though_ he reminded himself and settled for something he had already seen and liked. _She must like it too_ he thought, it was on top of the DVD player, not in the neat rows of DVDs next to the TV. _Yes, definitely one of her favorites. _  
"How's this?" he asked Meredith as she walked out of the kitchen, holding up a DVD case. "Looks good to me" she said as she plopped down on the couch, placing one foot under her butt as Derek placed her favorite movie in the DVD player.  
**Rebel Without a Cause** appeared on the screen, James Dean in his red leather jacket on the menu screen. _Cause who doesn't love James Dean?_ Meredith thought to herself as she waited for Derek to sit down next to her. Derek relaxed on the couch as well, leaning back and letting out a deep breath. "You like this movie?" Meredith asked, genuinely curious. Not many people her age like James Dean, or had seen any of his movies. _After all, he was painfully handsome, _she thought as she glanced at Derek who seemed thoroughly engrossed by the opening scene, not knowing if she was talking about Derek or James. Derek looked over at Meredith, "Yeah, I do. It's a classic." _Well he has good taste. _Derek grabbed some popcorn from the bowl Meredith had set on the coffee table; _At least I know she has good taste. I'll take this over Legally Blonde any day_, he thought. Thinking of how a movie like this wouldn't exactly go over well with other girls.  
"That's good, other wise you'd have to leave", she joked.  
"That hurts", he said putting his hand by face, faking crying, feigning hurt.  
"Oh, boo hoo," she mocked, showing no sympathies.

Derek laughed at her brutal honesty as they eased into silence, their eyes focused on the screen.

_And if you could then you know you would  
'Cause God it just feels so...  
It just feels so good_

_::::_

The movie was over, and Meredith had fallen asleep, she knew all the lines by heart any way. Derek smiled at her as she slept; she was only missing the ending, which he knew all too well, was sad. _She looks like an angel when she sleeps_, he thought, as he stared at her golden hair. His thoughts were interrupted by a snore, he let out a laugh, causing er to wakeup.

"What?" she asked, noticing he was staring at her. Derek tried to stifle a laugh and play it cool, "You can wake up now, the universe has ended", he whispered, repeating a line from the movie.

Meredith stretched a little, arching her back, managing to crack it, "I'm not sleeping", she said opening her eyes  
"You were too."  
Meredith shook her head no, "Nice line though, very James Dean", she said in a slightly raspy voice as she sat up, turning the DVD player off.

_DVD player off, she wants you to leave Derek, _he thought to himself.

_Please stay,_ Meredith thought to herself, thinking of the eerily empty house she was soon to be in.

"I liked today", Derek said, smiling a smile that was mirrored on Meredith's face seconds after. "Me too", she replied. Derek reluctantly got up off the couch, followed by Meredith, "Still on for boring grocery shopping? I promise I'll make it fun." _Please say yes._ Meredith nodded, "Yeah, sure. I'll call you. Unlike you, I'm not a morning person." Derek nodded, _ you probably look gorgeous in the morning too._  
Meredith walked Derek down the foyer towards the door. "You could sit, I'll let myself out, sleep."  
"I was _not_ sleeping", _I don't think you're boring. Up tight sometimes…but not boring. _  
"Of course not", Derek mocked.  
Meredith opened the front door for Derek, waving him out, "Out", she joked.  
Derek laughed as she smiled, "I'll see you soon I hope."  
"Me too", she said as she leaned against the frame of the door watching him walk down the stairs

:::::::::  
_James Dean, James Dean  
I know just what you mean  
James Dean, you said it all so clean  
And I know my life would look all right  
If I could see it on the silver screen_

_:::::_

Meredith went back to the living room as soon as Derek's car was out of sight. Ready for responsibilities she was so used to, a glass was in the sink, now joined by the now empty bowl that held the popcorn, devoured mostly by her because she ate more then Derek most of the time. She smiled to herself as she turned on the water, ready to wash the couple of dishes that had made their way into the sink, the job that she always seemed stuck with. Meredith sighed as she noticed that the dish washing liquid was empty. _Crap_ she said to herself as she headed out the door, the twenty still in her pocket from the morning and grabbed a jacket as she put on some tennis shoes. She headed around the corner to the drug store. Surely more dishes would pile up by dinner time and no way to wash them, so she decided to go get some, despite having to grocery shop tomorrow anyways. She sighed as she turned the corner, heading in to the ever familiar drug store.  
She headed to the aisle she needed and headed down it. She felt fine until she saw a tall girl at the end of the aisle, impeccably dressed; her hair in a perfect bun, her gorgeous **red** hair. Meredith felt somewhat underdressed as she looked at her sweats and Tshirt, _who knew you had to dress up to get soap?_ She asked herself as she grabbed a bottle off of the shelf, the green apple scented one that she loved. She flipped it to the back and read it as if she had never seen it, though it was very familiar to her. At times, she stole a few glances back to the model looking female. In designer looking jeans and a silk blouse, complete with gold earrings and three inch heels. _Why is she staring at me?_ Meredith asked herself as she quickly walked into the next aisle; the cold and cough aisle, thanking herself that it wasn't some embarrassing children's toy section. Before she could make a great escape red came down her aisle, headed straight for her, a smug look on her face.

::::::::  
_Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so faraway.  
Now it looks as though they're here to stay.  
Oh, I believe in yesterday._


	12. Chapter 12

_Everyone has that little voice in their head. Conscience isn't it?_ Meredith ranted to herself internally. _Mine's screaming red_ she said as she stared at the girl coming down the aisle for her. _Code red…red head…fire…fire alarm. Stop drop and roll?, _Meredith's mind was a jumble as her thoughts raced.

Meredith grabbed a chap stick off the shelf and turned around. _Run!_ She screamed to herself, but instead walked calmly.

The red headed girl followed Meredith down the aisle, the makeup aisle, Meredith was pretending to contemplate mascaras.

Addison looked her up and down from far away_ The famous Meredith?_ She asked herself. _Her style is mediocre at best. She has pretty hair though. _Addison walked up next to Meredith and absently grabbed a pink tube of mascara. "You have gorgeous features, you don't need any makeup", she said to the girl next to her.

Meredith looked up surprised at the tall girl in front of her, "Thanks", she said. _Oh my god, that's…Addison Forbes Montgomery in the flesh she's a lot taller than I remembered_  
Addison looked Meredith from her head down to her converse clad feet, "I'm Addison", she said, extending her hand.

Meredith shook it, "Meredith", she said with a nod and a fake smile, trying to process what was happening.

"Oh I know."

"I know who you are, how do you know who I am?", Meredith asked, _Stalker_, her mind screamed.

"Well that's not important; any friend of Derek's is a friend of mine."

_Wow she's actually kind of nice, _Meredith thought.

"Where _did_ he find you?", Addison asked, eyeing Meredith again, as if she was judging her for pricing at an auction. Meredith felt self conscious; she was a stark contrast to the girl in high end clothes in front of her, she consciously grabbed her arm, needing something to hold on to. Meredith folded her arms, trying to remain stoic.

"I don't know? The pound?" Meredith asked with an edge, giving Addison exactly what she was thinking.

Addison raised her eyebrows.

"That's what you mean right? When you give me the once over and follow me in the grocery store…you're wondering what I'm doing spending time with Derek. You don't know me."

Addison nodded, "In time…" she said, walking off, the clicking of her heels let Meredith calm down.

_Spoiled brat_, Meredith thought. _She definitely has a thing for him though._ Meredith groaned as she headed to the register, _welcome to high school drama _she thought. Meredith quickly paid for her items and rushed out, not wanting to face that girl again.

::::::::  
_I can't let it bother me._

_::::_

Meredith held the paper bag tightly in her hand as she headed home, she was pissed off and little dazed. She questioned her sanity, had Addison just approached her? And _why?_ _All because of Derek, _she thought to herself.What is he to her really? Guys are all liars anyways she thought.  
She knew she could get advice from her other half, as she approached her house she smiled to see that Cristina was walking out to the curb to throw away the trash. Cristina half smiled as she Meredith approach.  
"Have fun today?"

Meredith changed the subject quickly, "Did, you?" she asked her best friend.

"Well, my mom made me go shoe shopping with her", she said with a disgusted face, " 'ladies wear high heels' ", she mocked her mother with a look of disdain, "God, kill me now", Cristina sighed.

Meredith smiled, "How many pairs did you get?"

"Three. Shoot me Mer, seriously! Who wears them on a daily basis? I can barely walk in them but no worries there because mother dearest has decided that that can be mended with etiquette classes," she ranted as she sat down on the steps of Meredith's house with her; they had walked over during her rant.  
Meredith laughed as she thought the torture Cristina must have gone through., sitting down next to her on the stairs, "I'm sorry, but kill me first as long as we're in the suicidal and homicidal mood", she said with a roll of her eyes.  
Cristina looked over at Meredith, surprised, "Why?", she asked.  
Meredith leaned back on the stair, propping herself up on her elbows as she looked to the sky, "I had a show down with Addison Forbes Montgomery at the pharmacy".

Cristina laughed, "Seriously?"  
Meredith laughed a little too at the sound of it, this was completely out of the ordinary, "Oh yes. Apparently I am to be no where near Derek, the way she looked at me Cristina. It was like a low blow. Like…I don't know, I'm not even good enough to be around Derek."

"Shepherd?"  
Meredith nodded, still looking at the sky.  
"Nice. He's hot, you know that?" Cristina asked as she slightly elbowed Meredith, showing her approval.  
"Not the point," Meredith said as she sat up, looking incredulously at Cristina.

Cristina shrugged, "I'm just saying, man candy never hurt anyone."

Meredith sighed, "Maybe being friends with him isn't a good idea."  
"Every female in this area code knows Addison means drama".

Meredith nodded, _Awesome_ she thought,"drama, drama, drama," Meredith sighed, "not what I needed in my life."

"Yeah well, life happens"

"Yeah, when you least expect it unfortunately", Meredith said crossed her legs.

"It's a bitch like that", Cristina added.  
"A little less drama would be ideal, not more….What are you doing tomorrow morning?"  
"Nothing yet, definitely not parading around in heels as my mother would envision".  
"Okay. Let's do something. You can wear heels if you want to break em' in", Meredith mocked.  
Cristina got up off the step, "Shut up!", she said, "I don't want to be reminded of soon to be foot pain."  
Meredith grinned to herself at the image of Cristina in heels, watching as Cristina walked back to her house. Her expression changed to sadness as she thought about Derek; _Is being friends with him such a good idea?,_ she asked herself._  
_  
_Oily marks appear on walls  
Where pleasure moments hung before.  
The takeover, the sweeping insensitivity of this  
still life._


	13. Chapter 13

Meredith tried to keep her mind off of the obvious impending friendship with Derek, due to one psycho red head. _Territorial much?_ she thought when thinking of the strikingly beautiful red head, her clothes more fitting to be in an issue of Vogue than in a pharmacy in Seattle. Addison knew what she wanted but what she wanted didn't want her, and she was living in denial, Meredith realized. Meredith could bet that she was manipulative, that daddy had given her everything she ever wanted.  
_Is that what Derek wants? Some uptight model looking girl? Daddy's girl...I don't even have a father_ she thought to herself aimlessly as she flipped the channels of the TV in her room, trying to get her mind off of life itself. She sat on her bed Indian style with her pillow on her lap as she hugged it- searching for answers on a 24 inch screen, they didn't come though.  
Meredith sighed, frustrated with herself as she grabbed her cell phone off of the night stand, Meredith dialed a familiar number, it was in her phone book, but the satisfaction of dialing it was much more fulfilling to Meredith Grey. She scanned the clock reading 10:00, it wasn't too late she thought. Cristina was probably doing the same thing she was.  
Meredith waited a couple of rings before the line clicked, indicating her friend had answered  
"Survived the wrath of Addison after all?" she mocked  
"Hanging in there. So since you're not busy tomorrow morning," _ I won't be_ she thought to herself, "let's hang out," she said as she fiddled with the pillow in her lap.

"Let's meet at nine, I want to get out of my house before my mother realizes what happened."

Meredith laughed, "Hiding are we?"

"You try walking around in three inch heels."

"Hang in there Cristina, you could always break one of the heels by falling", she joked.

"That's brilliant, I have to go do that."

"Wait…I was just kidding," Meredith said, realizing she was talking to no one. Cristina had hung up and gone off on her mission. Meredith smiled to herself, wondering how Cristina was going to go about destroying shoes.

Meredith's smile was cut short as her phone vibrated in her hand, she picked it up instinctively, "Did it break?" she asked, who she thought was Cristina.

"Did what break?", she was greeted by a husky voice of a male.  
Meredith smiled as she clicked onto the other line  
_Oh crap, crap, crap, crap. _"who's this? " Meredith asked, already knowing the answer.  
"Derek", _Who was she expecting, _Derek asked himself.  
"Oh…hey", Meredith said, trying to play it cool.  
"Disappointed?" he asked.  
"No ." _Why couldn't you just let me avoid you._  
"Good. How are you?  
"Okay, I got sized up at the pharmacy by your girlfriend."  
"What?!? I **do not**__have a girlfriend, I told you that."

"Evil takes human shape in the form of Addison Forbes Montgomery", she said as her voice got serious. "I've never felt so…inadequate. I'm telling you Derek, Ellis Grey probably took lessons from Addison."

_Son of a bitch_, Derek thought. "I'm so sorry," Derek said, not knowing what to say.

"S'not a big deal, I'm used to that type of thing", she said with a light laugh, trying to act like it meant nothing.

"She has no right to treat you like that", _I swear I'm going to kill Addison. _

"Apparently I'm not good enough. And hanging out with you doesn't seem to be the remedy for lessening the amount of show downs I'll have."

Derek sighed, "Meredith please, I'll tell her to back off,"_ More like shove off_, he thought.

"You don't have to, I can take care of myself. Listen though, something came up," _Purposely,_ she thought, "...I can't go with you tomorrow."  
"Can't or wont?", he asked, knowing Addison definitely had an effect on her decision.  
"Both", Meredith said, laying back on her bed.  
"I thought you don't care what people think."

"I care what _I _think, and _I _think I do not need any enemies Derek, I didn't do anything with you Derek and she was ready to pounce...", Meredith tried to keep it together, she really did like Derek.  
"Meredith please, just forget about her...", he almost begged, running a hand through his hair out of frustration.  
"I have to go," she said, "...sorry", she whispered as she pressed call end on her phone, grabbing her ipod and headphones, drowning out the vibrations of her phone with angry music, knowing full well who was calling but not wanting to talk.

_I can grow up with no family, no dad and an absent mother. I'm strong_ she said to reassure herself. _Then why was that so hard?_

_What if I say I'm not like the others?  
What if I say I'm not just another one of your plays  
You're the pretender  
What if I say I will never surrender?_

::::::

Meredith didn't sleep as much as she wanted to, chalking it up to a flickering street light. It was a lie though; she always slept deeply even if the neighbors were having a loud party. She spent the night laying wide awake, wondering to herself whether or not she did the right thing, Meredith ended up tossing and turning most of the night, rather than actually sleeping, the ten missed calls did nothing for her either.  
When the alarm clock rang at eight, Meredith was already up. She was lying in bed, staring at the ceiling. She quickly turned it off, hating the noise it was making as she slipped out of bed.

After getting ready for the day, Meredith put on some jeans and a navy colored t-shirt as she slipped on some black converse chucks, she grabbed her wallet and cell phone as she made her way down the stairs, ignoring the DVD case that caught her eye. The one they had watched together. Her favorite movie would now always remind her off him, she thought bitterly. Meredith grabbed her empty canvas tote from the hall closet and threw her wallet and cell phone in it, as well as some chapstick, and some hand lotion. Lastly, she took a thin jacket and threw it in the tote as well; not trusting the clear skies outside- it couldn't last long she thought.

She headed out the door to meet Cristina at her house, not knowing what they were going to do, but knowing that she didn't want to be in the house; the big empty house that seemed to echo phone vibrations. The last person that was in her house was him. Though her mother came home at midnight and left at five AM, she left no note or anything. It was like living with a ghost, she decided that didn't count.

Meredith headed down the sidewalk to the big Victorian style house that Cristina lived in, the one that looked untouched by time. Surely it was a product of the anal retentively clean and organized Mrs. Yang. Before Meredith could walk up the stairs Cristina came walking out wearing jeans, black flats and a white Tshirt.

"Morning", Meredith said, happy to see her best friend. It was always a relief to see Cristina.  
Cristina walked down the stairs quickly, "Ugh, we need to get out of here, my mom wanted me to wear heels. **Heels** Meredith! I told her I'd wear heels if she bought me a car so I wouldn't have to walk. You should have seen her, she was seriously contemplating it."

"Bargaining chip for later?" Meredith asked.

"Could be", Cristina admitted.

"Well tell her you'll sleep in those damn things…it better be a new car," Meredith joked.

"Nice and shiny too….I'm starving."

Meredith nodded as they walked down the street smiling, "Me too. I was too lazy to make breakfast this morning."

"My mom tried making me an egg white omelet. I told her no thank you, they taste like crap."  
They continued walking down the street, towards the life of the town, ready to begin the day. Meredith breathed a sigh of relief, she was happy to be with Cristina, she never felt inadequate with her; they were equals in every sense.

_Doing everything by halves... got a real flare with excuses.  
Meeting someone at the bar... where loose ends still have uses._

_:::::_

Two updates. Enjoy.

Read and review please.

-Viv


	14. Chapter 14

Derek had tried to get his mind off of Meredith for the time being, knowing that she didn't want to speak to him because of Addison. He couldn't blame her, Addison was an intimidating person; the crimson hair, perfect clothing and confidence could crush anyone in sight. Guys were afraid to ask her out at times because of it. She wouldn't rest once she knew what she wanted, Derek knew that. Although she had relocated to Seattle with her family as a freshman, she still clung to the idea that she and Derek would be together.

She was determined and headstrong.

But Meredith didn't deserve the crap that was being dished out to her in heaping amounts. Ten out going calls to Meredith Cell and no incoming. He had left ten voice mails, all apologetic but he decided that she probably did not even listen to them. Personally, he hated drama too and he understood where she came from, he just wished he could change her mind. He had to make this right; for his sake and for hers as well. Derek knew exactly where he had to go and what he had to do to make it right. He knew he was in the right spot as he pulled onto the circular gravel driveway that was the envy of all the neighbors. A place where two last names was a must, it was Addison's house. Derek pulled into the parking spaces, his vintage car fitting in to the environment around him; three Merecedes in a row where there; Addison's C300, her father's S65 AMG and her mother's G55 AMG, all in matching black paint jobs. It was gaudy, but also somehow fitting of her family. The house was huge, a product of having successful parents; her father was the foremost neonatal surgeon in the country. She was bred for success. Derek was not intimidated though, he had grown accustomed Addison and her antics and he was used to them. She had crossed the line this time.

Derek walked up to the large set of thick mahogany doors that flanked the entrance to the house. It was morning, not too early so it was safe to assume that she was up, it was after all summer. He didn't want to miss out on verbally reprimanding her because of the hour, he was sure she would be there. Derek knocked, power behind his knuckles as he heard the door unlock slowly moments later. _Stay calm_, he ordered himself as he looked at Addison in the doorway.

"Derek! What are you doing here?" Addison asked innocently as she closed the door behind her, standing on the veranda with Derek. She was beautiful, a blind man could not deny that fact, but Derek didn't find her attractive to him in this moment, she was beautiful and smart he was sure, but that was something she didn't flaunt. The girls who worshipped her in high school didn't know she had a 4.2 gpa, because the pretty girls didn't have to be smart. She played along, knowing full well that they weren't the competition in academics, what they thought on that front didn't matter. She was standing there in a pale yellow dress and bronze sling back heels, by some Italian designer he assumed. She was a fan of labels, even for people, not just for her clothes.

Addison smiled, "What is it?"  
Derek's jaw tightened, "I need to talk to you…now," he said, remaining as calm as he could.

Addison's eyes flickered for a moment, _paranoia_ he guessed, but her moment of doubt was short lived, "About what?" she asked.

"Meredith."

Addison looked confused, _she's really talented at the b.s. _he thought. "Who?" she asked, looking genuinely confused.

Derek pinched the bridge of his nose, "Don't do that Addison, you're a smart girl. You know what you did. "  
Addison rolled her eyes.

"Why'd you do it?"  
" Derek, she's a freshman", Addison said, crossing her arms. _As if that means anything,_ Derek thought. _What __does__ that mean?_

"No Addison, she's **human**. She has feelings, what's wrong with you? Do you not care about anyone?"

Addison shook her head in disbelief. "Since when do you defend her?", she asked, placing a hand on her hip.

"Since...since I met her", he replied slowly, a small smile coming to his face as he thought of her.

Addison looked as though she was about to gag, "Der, she doesn't belong in our world", she said as she stroked Derek's arm.

Derek pulled away, "She belongs in mine, if you can't accept that, we can't be friends. Period."

"What's gotten into you Derek? You don't even know anything about her? How do you know she's not using you?"

"Using me? What the hell does that mean?"

Addison laughed, "She's a freshman, silly. You're the one way ticket to popularity. Dating Derek Shepherd guarantees that."

Derek looked appalled, "First off, I'm not dating her," _yet_, he thought, "second of all, she's not interested in that superficial crap, you are. In the interest of…I don't know…our friendship, you **will** be nice to her."

Addison sighed looking at the seriousness of Derek's face. "I'll try", she said, knowing she didn't want to lose Derek as a friend.

"Try hard."  
"Fine," Addison said somewhat defeated.

Derek nodded, turning to walk away, stopping after a few steps. Addison stared at his back, "One more thing, don't **ever** talk to her that way, don't even talk about her," he said without turning around.  
Addison looked taken back as Derek rushed back to his car, slamming his car door as he skidded away, a few rocks landing in the grass of the lawn as Addison stood there, motionless on the porch. Not quite sure what had happened. It was in that moment that she knew that Meredith meant more to him then she ever would, her smile faded as she headed back inside the palatial house.

_The sun and the moon  
An ocean of air  
So many voices  
But nothing is there  
The ghost of you asking me why  
Why did I leave_

:::

Meredith and Cristina decided on smoothies to start their day, agreeing that they would eat a huge lunch later. They decided that Meredith needed something cathartic and so they headed the a place that guaranteed stress relief, it was a place where they could color their own ceramics. Upon first look, it was not a place that suited them; very bright and cheerful inside and out, it was the stark contrast of their personalities but it made them feel good.

Meredith had picked out a pot to paint, while Cristina picked a plate; the size of their ceramics a reflection of their stressed. Cristina took a pencil and sketched an elaborate design onto it as Meredith brought over bottles of paint and brushes to the table they sat at. Meredith sighed as she sat down across from Cristina, watching as she sketched an intricate flower design that spanned the entire plate she had picked out.

"Nice," Meredith said.

"It's for my mom," she said jokingly, "she hates black, but loves flowers," she said as she grabbed the black paint and a thing brush, outlining her painting in black. Meredith laughed, _this is cathartic_ she thought.

Cristina looked at Meredith's choice, "A pot?" she asked.

Meredith shrugged as she picked it up, it was rounded like a fish bowl almost. "Or a fat vase? I don't know. It just has a lot of workable space."

Cristina nodded as she continued to focus on her design. Meredith squeezed yellow paint onto a paper plate and began painting the entire pot with it, not knowing what the end result was going to look like.

"So, you decided what you're going to do about lover boy?" Cristina asked, too engrossed in her painting to look up. She painted careful and precise lines while Meredith haphazardly plastered on yellow paint to her pot, getting more on her hands then on her pot.

Meredith shrugged, "Not sure. Not sure if it's worth the drama."

"You like being around him?"

"Yeah. But I barely know him. Maybe I'm wrong about him and he's a complete asshole." _I only wish_, she thought, thinking it would be much easier to hate him if he were.

"He was nice to you when you first met him, first impressions are usually right," Cristina said as she dabbed her brush back into the black paint, taking a chance to look at Meredith's creation and shaking her head at it. It looked like a young child's project but she knew it would turn out well. Every time they came here, Meredith's piece would start out looking dangerously childish but end up beautiful in the end.

Meredith sighed, "Yeah. I should just stop caring," she said half joking.

"About him?"

"About everything. School, my mom, him, life", she added jokingly.

"That won't last."

Meredith nodded as she added another layer of yellow paint to her creation. "I don't think so either", she said as she continued to paint. They relaxed into their pieces, Cristina precise as ever and Meredith free spiritedly painting her piece. They stopped talking about Derek, at Meredith's request and the rest of the conversations were void of him. It felt nice to be able to forget. Meredith was grateful to Cristina for that.

_When my insides are wracked with anxiety.  
You have the touch that will quiet me.  
You lift my spirit. You melt the ice.  
When I need inspiration, when I need advice._

:::::

Derek needed to vent his frustrations and get out his anger on something. He was a swimmer at heart but decided to go the batting cages, surely whacking a few baseballs with a metal bat and a force that could kill someone would help, or so he thought. He hit them aimlessly and effortlessly, anyone could have mistaken him for a member of a baseball team. As a ball came at him again, he swung hard...stepping into it and sending it flying against the gate. He hit the stop button with the end of the bat and took off his helmet, fixing his hair as he ran his hand through it.  
"Don't worry about, maybe a little more lip gloss" he heard behind him in a familiar voice, it was Mark his best friend on the outside of the fence, looking in.

Derek looked haggered and fatigued, "Hey."

Mark raised his eyebrows, "Angry?" he asked.  
"No," Derek lied.

Mark opened the gate and grabbed the bat, examining it in his hands, "Well the dent marks on the bat say otherwise, you know they'll make you pay for it," he said.

Derek grabbed it back defensively, running his fingers along the dent marks he had made, "I bought it today, thought I'd kill it."

"Well mission accomplished. Bad day?" he asked, truly interested. Derek was his best friend, Derek was his brother.

"Kind of", Derek conceding, giving in.  
Mark smiled a cocky smile, "If i were you i wouldn't be pissed."

"Why's that?" that he asked as he took his helmet and set it on the ground, dropping the bat next to it as he leaned against the fence.

"Because, I heard you're trying a freshman. Bold, a little young, I mean I prefer sophomores..."

"What?" Derek asked, cutting him off.

"Meredith Grey? Or do you not even know her name?"

_How the hell does he know her name_, "She's a friend."

Mark nodded, "Well, I'm not one for gossip, but that's not what Addison is telling everyone."

_I underestimated Addy. God she's conniving. _Derek groaned, "How many people think that way?"  
"I heard it from Addison...didn't believe her though. It didn't sound like you... Must be jealousy, you know she's always had a thing for you man. She's hot...never understood why you didn't go for her- red heads are fiery", he added with a mischievous smile....grabbing the bat and helmet, "let me show you how this is done", he told Derek, motioning for him to get out of the cage.

Derek nodded as he stepped out of the cage, "I have to tell Meredith", he mumbled.  
"Who cares if she's just a fling?" Mark asked as he put the helmet on.  
"Meredith is not a fling!" he almost yelled as Mark stepped into position to hit the ball  
Mark turned back to look at Derek, surprised, "Dude, I've never heard you this worked up over a girl", he said as the ball came towards him, slamming into it with the bat so hard that it got stuck between the chain links on the other side, "now, _that's_ how you do it Derek", he said confidently. "You should use that anger with the ball, someday you might be as good as me", Mark joked as he hit another ball, harder then the first.

_And any time you feel the pain, hey, Jude, refrain  
Don't carry the world upon your shoulders  
Well don't you know that its a fool who plays it cool  
By making his world a little colder_


	15. Chapter 15

Derek shook his head, not understanding himself, or why he was so worked up over a girl. But she was not just _any_ girl to him. Mark hit a few more balls, a little softer than before, god knows he had the strength to knock them into the fence but he rarely used it full force. Derek saw it when they swam, Mark had more defined muscles then Derek ever would. Mark pressed the stop button, turning to face Derek, hitting the baseballs helped clear his mind as well. "What is she?", he asked Derek.

"What?" Derek asked, getting up from the bench he had been sitting on.

"Meredith? What do you love her or something? Cause she's not just some girl. You don't get worked up over them", Mark said, knowing he had a point. He could read it on Derek's face, something was up.  
It wasn't the or something that caught Derek's ear it was love. _Did _he love her? _Course not _he told himself. He barely knew her, barely knew the secrets behind those gorgeous green eyes or the hurt she had been through. He wanted to know though. He wanted to make up for the way Addison treated her, he wanted to know her secrets and the intricacies of her personality, if only she would let him.  
"She's definitely not just some girl...she...she is amazing and kind and generous. She is one of the most sincere people that I've ever met. She's got a big heart and with all the crap that she's been through, she should be bitter and pissed off and ice cold, but she's NOT, which in itself is rare. She's…so different then any of the girls I've met…she's got this free spirit," Derek said as he paced back and forth.

Mark nodded slowly, digesting what his friend just said, "Wow."  
"What?"

Mark laughed, "You love her."

"What? No I don't. I don't even know her," he said, sitting down again.

Mark shook his head, thinking Derek could sometimes be naïve. "You'll realize it Derek, the way you talk about her... she's special to you. If you like her, I'll be nice and because I'm your friend, I'll tell Addison to shut her mouth about it," Mark said sincerely as he took the helmet off and opened the gate.

Derek sat there on the bench, not responding. _In love? I'm not in…_

"I can still kick your ass in sports", Mark said, interrupting Derek's thoughts as he handed Derek the bat, "Your turn," he said as he handed Derek the now severely dented bat. Derek was appreciative of the fact that he had the sense to buy a bat before coming here. He could only imagine the appalled look of the lady behind the register inside as he's return a bat that was barely in tact.

Derek grabbed the helmet as he closed the gate behind him. The first few balls sailed past him, his mind was elsewhere.

_Cause your love is real  
I'm telling you now  
Your love is real  
Your love is real  
Your love is real  
Your love is real, real, real_

_:::::_

_Short but I'm researching classes to register for tomorrow for Uni. _

_More to come later. _

_-Viv_


	16. Chapter 16

Cristina was finishing up her plate, her black design had dried and she colored the plate in vivid hues of purple; dark around the edges and light near the middle. It looked like mountable art rather then something to eat on.

Meredith had taken her pot and layered colors on it, first red, then orange and blue at the top. It looked like fire, the mess she had started with turned into a cohesive piece and it too was gorgeous. They left their pieces there to get fired and glazed and made their way out after washing their hands. Cristina waited for Meredith outside, her hands were full of paint and Cristina's were nearly pristine even after all her painting. Meredith walked out to rejoin Cristina, wiping her moist hands on her jeans. They walked down the street, watching the people that were walking around them. Meredith looked over at Cristina, Cristina sighed, "Look I know we said we wouldn't talk about _him_ but…what's he like?"

Meredith couldn't help but laugh. Cristina Yang wasn't a gossip. _What's gotten into her?_ She asked herself. Meredith sighed as well, "I thought we were done talking about Derek," _it would make this much easier,_ she thought to herself.

Cristina shook her head, "No. I lied," she added jokingly.

"He's nice…"

Cristina stared into the window of one of the stores on the street, it had a gorgeous black dress. She stared but moved on quickly to the next one, knowing she had no use for something that nice. "See most of the guys here are assholes," she said matter of factly.

Meredith nodded, most of the guys in junior high were immature asses, she knew all too well. "He's older…" she said, thinking about what people in their new high school might say. Cristina shrugged as they crossed the street towards more stores. "Does that even matter to you?"

Meredith shook her head, "No."

"Well, he is hot."

"Shut up now."

Cristina smiled, "I'm serious though, guys like that don't hang out with freshman girls unless they want to do them."

"Wow that was poetic, Cristina", she mocked as they both looked at a storefront window filled with paintings.

"It's my secret talent."

"He's my friend," _or was,_ she thought.

"Yeah, if all friends are gorgeous", she said as she avoided looking into the high end shoe store they were passing by, she didn't need to see more heels.

"They are," Meredith joked.

"Denial."

"He's…perfect," _wow, I sound like a beauty pageant contest. I'm a blonde ditzy idiot. _  
Cristina raised her eye brows, "I _just_ realized how pathetic you are."

Meredith rolled her eyes, "I'm so aware of it."

"Good then. Let's eat, I'm starving."

..::..::..::..::..  
Meredith was ecstatic that she had Cristina, she completely forgot about what little drama that had invaded her life. She made her forget about Addison. It was only them and the sounds of their laughs that filled the rest of the day.

The day was cut short because Cristina's mother insisted on her coming home for some dinner party full of stiff oral surgeons that were friends with her step father, something she did not want to go to but was forced to. It would not doubt involve heels she whined to Meredith.

Meredith and Cristina said their goodbyes at eight. Meredith headed home but realized that she had never gone to the grocery store that day. Her good mood vanished as she headed to the place that newly reminded her of Derek. Meredith headed to the grocery store, back to her melancholy mood now that her good company was gone. Her once happy mood was vanished as she grabbed a cold metal cart from the outside of the store and made her way in, ignoring the fact that she would have been here with some one else entirely if it wasn't for Addison. She would have been here with Derek. But Derek meant drama.

_I feel so powerless  
I've got to stop it somehow  
Oh come on what can i do?  
Why's it happening  
How's it happening without me  
Why's it happening  
How's it happening that he feels it without me_


	17. Chapter 17

She could have forgotten him easily...except for the fact that the guy by the magazines looked exactly like him. _Shit_ Meredith thought to herself. _Does God hate me? Is there a God?_ She cursed herself as she turned the corner, away from him. She heard foot steps behind her. _What a time for deja vu!_ She thought about how to get away fastest and decided that she'd abandon her cart and walk faster. The steps behind her quickened with her pace.  
"Meredith?", the husky voice asked.  
_I'm not here, I won't turn around,_ she told herself.  
"Mer!", the voice's urgency increased, as their steps slowed.  
_Now I have to turn_ she said as she rolled her eyes. She planted her feet and turned around to face him, her eyes clashing with his, Derek nearly ran into her.  
_Scratch that, there is a God_ she thought as she peered into his gorgeous eyes. _How could any body stay mad at him_? He was like a cross between a Greek god and a male model.  
Derek tilted his head as he looked Meredith, _Don't give up on me_, he thought.  
_Not the head tilting. Remember, you're mad at him_ she reminded herself  
"What?" she replied as cold as she could, she learned well from her mother.

_Well, she's definitely pissed,_ he concluded. "I'm so sorry about Addison. You didn't deserve that…I'm just…sorry."

"Don't be", she said as she turned around and heading back towards the cart she abandoned in an effort to finish her shopping.  
Derek followed her, "At least look at me," he said as he ran in front of her and stopped, facing her.

Meredith stared straight at him, her withering stare she liked to call it.

"Or walk away, you look much less threatening that way", he joked in response to her harsh eyes.

"What are you doing here anyways?"

"Well this is a public place," he joked, seeing no response in her eyes, making him feel like an idiot, "I thought I'd see you here."

"Sounds like a stalker", Meredith said as she pushed her cart along the aisle.

Derek followed her, frustrated. "Or a friend?", he offered.

Meredith looked up into his eyes as he stood next to her, "Derek..."

"Wait," he said interrupting her... "I know you think I mean drama and I cannot blame you, what Addison did was out of line and out of the blue and I am sorry you had to go through it. But I think...I mean I know we can be friends. I think you should forgive me, give me another chance."

"Oh really?" _Bit of a god complex, _she thought.

Derek half smiled, "Oh yes...and I think we should actually talk about this, and not in the dog food aisle of a grocery store. Meredith looked down the aisle flanked with faces of dogs on food bags  
"Fine," she said as she walked down the aisle together.

"Where are we going?" Derek asked confused, _does she want to talk outside or something?_

Meredith furrowed her eyebrows, "_I_ didn't come her to see you. I actually came here to shop."

"Right, I knew that," he said as followed her quick pace down the aisles.

_And when that day comes  
I get lost on her time  
she's much too sweet  
and she's always gonna be  
and when I return to her arms and her eyes  
It might not be the same  
but it's alright with me_

_::::::_

Meredith reluctantly got into Derek's Porsche after they packed the trunk full of the groceries she had purchased with her mom's money; the mom that didn't even have time to go to the grocery store, not ever. So it was left to Meredith to buy the things she needed to survive, something she was sure never even occurred to Ellis.

Admittedly she took advantage of the fact that Derek was there, buying enough groceries to last longer now that she didn't have to carry them home by herself.

"I'm sorry", he said as he glanced over her shoulder, as they pulled out of his parking spot. He said it for what seemed like the tenth time since he saw her.

Meredith nodded, "okay."

"You know people usually say they'll forgive you", he said as he put the car in drive.  
"I didn't," she said, causing Derek to glance over as he drove.

"So you won't forgive me?", he asked_. Please forgive me,_ he thought.

"I haven't decided yet", she said as he put the blinker on and turned at the stop sign.

"What does that mean?", he asked, genuinely confused.  
"Honestly though, Derek...what is this? What am I to you?" Meredith asked. Thus far she didn't know what to make of their friendship.

Derek struggled for words as he looked at her, processing his thoughts.  
_Gorgeous _he thought to himself _**Don't**__ say that to her_ he concluded...Derek looked over at her, she was waiting for an answer-" You are Meredith, my friend", he decided to himself, ignoring the obvious advice Mark had given him. _No need to scare her off_ Derek thought to himself.  
"My friend?", she repeated.

"Yes, why?" _Does she like me too?_ He asked himself.

"Because if we're going to be friends I want a real friendship. I don't want to be a fair weather friend to you...someone you only hang out with when all else fails..."

"You're not that," he said pleading with her, trying to focus on driving without pulling over and telling her how special she was and how much he really did like her.

"I'm not finished", she said with a stern glare, "Not that I think you indulge in gossip, but when people ask, I _am_ your friend Derek. And not because I'm the freshmen girl 'you could get' ", she said mocking the adolescent tone of young males.  
Derek nodded, "Okay, done ."

"Good."  
"As far as I'm concerned, Addison won't attack you anymore." _Although she can be rough around the edges._

"Well, good, because I fight back" Meredith said with confidence.  
"I wouldn't put it past you, you are full of surprises," he said as he pulled onto their street.  
"You too, here I thought you were the shallow jock," she joked.

Derek laughed for the first time, "Thanks."

Meredith smiled back, "Anytime." she said as they pulled into her empty driveway

_I'd like to know that your love  
Is love I can be sure of_

_:::::_

Read and review please.

Sorry for the late update, I had work tonight.


	18. Chapter 18

"Ice cream?" Meredith asked as she opened the freezer door. She had put all of the groceries away after Derek had come in. She didn't exactly invite him but she knew that they needed to talk, he had also left his jacket there from yesterday so he used that as an excuse.

"Sure," he said with a warm smile as Meredith looked back at him.

"We have strawberry ," she said as she rummaged around in the freezer.

"Sounds good", Derek said, not really listening to what flavor she had said. He was happy to be in her house, back in her life.

Meredith placed the pint ice cream on the counter and a scoop from the drawer next to it.

She walked over to the cabinets on the other side of the kitchen and grabbed two bowls, and a couple of spoons from the drawer below. She sat at the island's bar stool, across from Derek. She grabbed the scoop and tried to scoop some ice cream but it was rock hard. _Damn ice cream_, she thought to herself as she stabbed it harder and harder. Derek grabbed the scoop from her hand, thinking she would go straight through counter given the chance to keep going.

_Don't piss off Meredith,_ Derek thought to himself. Meredith brushed her hair out of her face and walked to the table to sit down, thinking she would let Derek scoop it instead.

Derek ran the scoop under cold water and easily scooped a few scoops in the bowls. He placed the bowls on the dinner table where Meredith was sitting; he sat down across from her. _Well of course it's easy when you do it like that_, Meredith thought to herself bitterly. Derek relaxed into his seat, leaning back and looking at Meredith, unsure if there was something more to say after their conversation in the car.

Meredith pulled on leg up to her chest and took a bite of ice cream.  
She fidgeted as well, finally deciding to grab her spoon and take a bite of ice cream, "Mmmm", she said. Derek smiled at her, taking a bite as well, "It's really good," _even though I like coffee ice cream, this is pretty amazing too. _

"Told you", Meredith said as she took another bite.

"You never lie," Derek said with confidence. He had a feeling she was always honest with every one. It was her personality that clued him into this.

Meredith shrugged, _since when is honesty a rarity, _she asked herself. "You did about the Addison thing."

_Ouch, _Derek thought. "I didn't think she would do that," he said as he looked into her eyes, trying to read her face. Meredith looked down at her ice cream.  
"I know...look i think we should both just let this go," Meredith said without looking up.  
"The Addison thing?", he asked. _Gladly, _he thought to himself.

Meredith looked up at him, "No, _this_", she said, pointing to herself and then him with her spoon.

"Spending… time together?", _please say no_, he thought, _anything but that._  
Meredith slowly nodded, _tell me no, tell me I'm being irrational, _she pleaded with Derek internally. "I've been thinking about it and I don't want to ax you out of your popularity or your friends. They were there before me…"

"But I _want_ you to be there", _need you there, _he thought, interrupting her.  
"I want to be there too", she said. _He wants me? _, she asked herself.

"So, _I_ think that we should start over. Sometimes it's good to just wipe the slate clean and start over again. I want to keep what we have, don't give up on me," _please. _

Meredith smiled as she put her spoon in her mouth, _thank you_, she thought to herself.

Derek smiled too, he couldn't help himself. She would be in his life now, so long as he didn't screw it up.

"I'm Derek Shepherd," Derek said, very formally.  
Meredith laughed as she watched him extend his hand, she put her spoon down, still laughing. "_What_ are you doing?"

Derek smiled, "Starting over", he whispered  
Meredith nodded, like she understood as she was fighting the urge not to laugh.

Derek tried staying serious, tried not to be effected by her infectious smile. "Derek Shepherd, captain of the swim team and at times, not on purpose though, genuine asshole", he said, his hand still extended.

Meredith took his hand and looked into his eyes, finally giving in. "Meredith Grey, captain of nothing but my own life, which I usually spend in this empty house and at times, intentionally, I try to protect myself from feeling more hurt, because I've been through enough pain in my life."

Derek nodded as he looked into her green eyes and shook her hand, "It's nice to meet you," he said.

Meredith nodded, "You too," she said to him, letting his hand go after she realized how long she was holding it. She took a bite of her ice cream quickly, trying to erase the awkward moment.

_And I care about you  
Course I care about you  
More than anyone else_


	19. Chapter 19

:::::::::::

Mark was happy for his friend and whatever that girl Meredith Grey would become to him, guys always had a one track mind in his world and he was wondering what had happened to Derek's. Not that he didn't appreciate it, most of the female population at the school would be free now that he was liking some one else. Females had an attraction to the dark wavy mane and piercing blue eyes that were Derek Shepherd. Mark had decided to walk home from the batting cages, refusing a ride from Derek, taking the long route home and passing by the outrageously large homes that flanked the street Addison lived on. He mustered up the courage to knock on her door. Sure she had always had a thing for Derek, but truth be told, Mark always had a thing for her. Fiery red heads were hot he thought. He knocked on the door, not too loud but loud enough to echo throughout the palatial mansion...

Mark was greeted by an overdressed Addison. She always had a way of dressing up, even on an ordinary summer day; she looked like she was ripped out of the pages of a Neiman Marcus Catalog. Her cropped jeans and button up shirt were made for her it seemed. Her smile faded as she realized it was only Mark, not the Derek she had been expecting. What was it with girls, that they always wanted what they could not and should not have?  
Mark asked himself as she smiled yet again, a different kind of smiled Mark noted.

"Mark…"

"Hey," he said as he thought of what to say.

"I thought you were Derek."

_Figures_, Mark thought to himself, "I don't think he'll be around here for a while."

"Probably with that freshman," she said with a hint of disdain.  
Mark chuckled a little, before remembering his promise to Derek. "Don't talk about her like that Addie, you don't even know her," he said as he crossed his arms, defending Derek.

"Since when do you defend freshmen Mark? Especially some girl you've never met?" Addison asked, raising an eyebrow .  
"She's not just some girl to Derek, stop being selfish Addison...he's your friend- start acting like it….and since when is it okay to judge someone you never met?"

He was right, Addison thought, "Screw you", she said in defeat, not able to come up with anything else to say.

"My pleasure," Mark said with a smile.

Addison rolled her eyes, "You're sick."

Mark laughed, "Just try and be nice Addison, before Derek cuts you out of his life completely." Addison's face changed, her eyes got bigger and all signs of a smile disappeared. She wanted to be in Derek's life. "I'll see you tomorrow, calm down...anger causes wrinkles," Mark said as he left, not looking back.

Addison touched her face as Mark left, Mark laughed to himself, knowing exactly what she was doing as he left.

_No response on any level,  
Red-alert this vessel's under seige.  
Total overload all systems down they've got control.  
There's no way out.  
We are surrounded.  
Give in, give in and relish every minute of it._

::::::

Derek went home after he and Meredith laughed so hard she had tears coming out of her eyes. It was so easy without all the drama, at least he thought. Meredith had a great time, which was an entirely new experience to her; she was done stressing about Addison for the time being. They were standing on the steps of her house, Meredith made sure to give Derek back his jacket, she was clutching it in her hands, handing it over to him. Derek smiled, "Thanks", _for everything,_ he thought, "I have to go now", he said as they were standing on the steps; Meredith one step above him.

"Okay," _ so long as you come back, _she thought.  
Derek nodded, about to turn around, but changing his mind. "What are you doing tomorrow?"

Meredith raised one eye brow, "You tell me."

_Say something charming, _he thought to himself. "Be ready noon," _it'll give me time to think_ he thought.

"What are we doing?" Meredith asked curiously.

_I don't know_, he thought to himself. "You'll see," _and frankly so will I, Derek thought._

"So mysterious", she mocked

_Clearly not as charming as I thought it'd be_, Derek thought, beating himself up. _ At least she thinks I'm funny_, he thought.  
"Shut up", he whispered as he leaned in and kissed her cheek, pulling away when he realized exactly what he had done. It wasn't a federal crime, but it certainly wasn't expected. Derek opened his mouth to say something, but shut it quickly...Meredith stared at him. _Did he just kiss me? _She asked herself. _Did I just kiss her? _Derek asked himself panicked,_ she said friends, Derek. Friends don't kiss. _

"Good night," Meredith said with a smiled as she headed back up the stairs and closed the door, leaning against the wall next to it, _what did he just do? And why did I like it so much? Friends don't kiss, _she reminded herself.  
Derek touched his lips with the tips of his fingers, _what did I just do? what does this mean?_ He asked himself as he headed to his car, needing to get his mind off of what had just happened. He headed to the place that brought him clarity.

_I've just seen a face  
I can't forget the time or place  
Where we just meet  
She's just the girl for me  
And want all the world to see  
We've met, mmm-mmm-mmm-da-da-da_


	20. Chapter 20

Derek headed home to the place that gave him a sense of clarity...he was after all on the swim team- captain of the JV team, in fall, to be exact. Something Mark gave him heat about since most of the guys on that team wore Speedos, even though Mark was on the water polo team, he thought swim to be below him. Derek didn't mind though, there was something there in the water that gave him clarity. Derek rushed up the stairs as he passed his mom in the kitchen and his dad in the office, changing into his tight fitting trunks that came above his knees- he didn't do Speedos as he had told Mark over and over.  
Derek ran back down the stairs, grabbing a towel he had left on the railing from the previous trip to the pool and heading out the sliding glass door to the backyard, not even giving himself time to think about what had happened or the finer details of its repercussions. He dropped the towel next to the pool as he dove in the deep end, not even hitting the bottom of the eight foot deep end. Derek immediately began swimming the way he had done all his life, with purpose. It was probably why he always made the Junior Olympics meets. His butterfly was precise as he swam a length of the pool, by far the most tiring swim he could manage at this hour, but Derek didn't stop--only long enough to come up for a breath. He was in his element as he pushed himself up from the bottom of the pool, only to jump back in alarm as he surfaced. Derek rubbed his eyes and slicked his hair back as he identified the figure in front of himself.

Derek looked up to see a familiar face in an unfamiliar state. It was Addison, the at times scarily good looking girl who always had an outfit straight off the runway, was in a track suit with no make up and her hair up in a messy bun.  
"Addison?" Derek asked, not sure if it really was her. She never went any where without looking flawless and to see her so casual meant something was different. "What are you doing here?"

Addison sat down on the lawn chair next to the pool. "Hey," she said in a quiet tone, a far cry from the confident tone she always had on  
"What's wrong?" Derek asked as he pulled himself out of the pool and wrapped the towel around his himself. He sat down across from Addison, waiting to hear her response.

"…Nothing," she said as she looked at him, lying through her teeth.

Derek shook his head, "It's something Addie, I've never seen you out of the house like this, not that I blame you- I like it...it makes you seem like you have flaws. Perfection is over rated," he said thinking about Meredith and her escapade with the ice scream scoop earlier that evening.

Addison laughed lightly, "Thank you, no one makes me feel better when I look like shit by the way."

"You look great, Addie--you always do...I think that's why most girls are afraid of you," he said as he looked at her, knowing she had something on her mind that she was not mentioning to him straight out. Buttering her up might work he thought.

Addison pushed her bangs out of her face and sighed, "I'm...sorry Derek. For what I did, I want you in my life so I can accept your friendship with Meredith," she said, the words of Mark still echoing in her ears.

Derek looked over at Addison sitting in the chair.

"Don't worry about, she's tough," he said with a beaming smile. Addison mustered a smile as well. _Two days of this girl and he can't stop mentioning her_? M_ark's right, she's not just some girl_, Addison thought to herself. _It always came back to Meredith._  
Addison looked up at him, seeing a different person all together.

"Meredith, I mean", Derek said to clarify things.

"I know," Addison said with feigned sincerity, _of course,_ she thought to herself.  
"You okay?" he asked her again, unsure if this was all she came there to do.

Addison nodded, wanting to leave as soon as possible.

"You sure?"

Addison smiled, "Positive, get back to swimming, can't be captain this year if you slack off," she said with a half smile. Addison got up, putting her hands in her pockets and walking off.  
Derek laughed a little before throwing the towel on another chair and diving back in as he watched Addison drive away in her Mercedes, not quite understanding why she had come out to his house to say I'm sorry. Derek shook his head, girls were far more complicated then he would ever realize.

_Trying to find the magic  
Trying to write a classic  
Don't you know, don't you know, don't you know?  
Waste-bin full of paper  
Clever rhymes, see you later_

_::::_

_Read and review please. _

_I have work tonight unfortunately. Hopefully I won't be exhausted when I come home. I'll try to get in another update later._

_-Viv_


	21. Chapter 21

Meredith tried to get a good night's sleep, tossing and turning after thinking over and over what this could mean to their friendship. _Friends don't kiss_, she reminded herself over and over. _Damn the rules of life_ she cursed herself, _how hard could it be not to kiss Derek?_ After all he was a guy and guys do have their asshole moments.

Meredith promised herself that she would not get caught up in the what if's of this still life. Instead she made herself go to sleep, turned off the TV, and curled up in bed, falling asleep on top of the covers as she always did. It didn't matter if it was nine degrees outside or ninety nine, Meredith slept on top of the covers. She thought nothing of it, but Cristina always found it interesting to find her on top of the sleeping bag when they had sleepovers...she too thought nothing of it.

Morning came quicker than imaginable for Meredith as she saw the sun rise, she cursed herself for waking up so early, but could not find a way to go back to sleep.

"Coffee" She mumbled to herself as she walked out of her room and down the stairs in a trance...rubbing her eyes in the process_..."What time is it?"_ she asked herself as she peered at the clock on the mantel...7:30 it read

_"so much for sleeping in"_ Meredith said with a grunt as she headed downstairs to the coffee machine to find a used filter on the counter and an empty coffee canister next to it.

"_what the..? Must be mommy dearest " _, she mocked to herself. Empty coffee canister, used filter and dirty pot…._what a loving mother. _Meredith groaned, taking the canister and throwing it in the trash with a little extra force, adding the filter and cleaning the counter afterwards. "I guess we need coffee" she said as she slowly headed upstairs to get changed and head to the store

_I don't feel the way I've ever felt.  
I know.  
I'm gonna smile and not get worried.  
I try but it shows._

_:::_

Meredith grunted as she changed into some clothes that were more suitable then pajamas.  
She grabbed black straight legged jeans and a white Tshirt, forgoing the jacket in her haste and grabbing her wallet, cell phone and keys as she ran out of the house. _Must get caffeine _she thought to herself. Her hair was brushed and up in a loose ponytail and her chapstick gave her lips a perfect sheen. She was beautiful without makeup...just being who she was

Meredith headed out the door, locking it as usual and placing her key into the coin slot of her wallet. She walked down the street, passing by Cristina's house, knowing full well that she would still be sleeping and wanting to slip away before Cristina's over eager mother grilled her about Cristina's love life. She was hell bent on finding a boyfriend for her and Cristina was hell bent on not having one...for now.

Meredith yawned as she headed further down the street

::::::::::::::  
Whole Foods was always a great place to eat; everything organic to keep her in the best health possible. Meredith however loved it because of all the food, she tended to eat more then anyone she knew and she decided long ago if someone else was paying for the food, it might as well be the best...especially when she was eating more then anyone in the house. Meredith entered the store with a faint smile, smelling the smells of the fresh coffee roasting and the full breakfast bar that was there. She took her time making her way over to the coffee area, watching the beans roast as she took in the scent.  
Meredith grabbed a fresh bag of the dark French roast off the shelf and headed down the row of the salad bar, grabbing a plastic container and filling it with fruit salad and putting yogurt on the side. She closed the lid as she looked over at the hot breakfast bar. _So many choices_ she thought to herself. _MMmmm...French toast _she said as she grabbed two pieces, putting them in the cardboard container reserved for hot food as she put scrambled eggs and bacon on the side before closing them up.  
Meredith was on her way to the register, grabbing her card from her wallet as she blindly ran into someone.

"Whoa there", the deep voice said.

Meredith looked up at the guy she ran into, _definitely cute, _she thought to herself.  
The muscular looking teenaged boy accidentally stepped on her foot as he tried to avoid her. _Why does she look familiar?_ He asked himself.

"Ow," Meredith said quietly.

Mark put his hands on her shoulders, "Sorry," he said, "Still got all ten?" he asked, referring to her toes.

Meredith nodded, "yeah."

"Have we met?" _I'd remember a face like that,_ he thought

"No."

"I'm Mark."  
"Oh. I think you're Derek's friend…I'm Meredith." _This is his best friend,_ Meredith thought. _What do pretty people just find each other?_

Mark nodded, "Right. Meredith. It's nice to meet you. Awkward run in though," he said trying to keep it light hearted.

Meredith shrugged, "Well I'm used to the awkward run ins, how do you think I met Addison?

Mark pulled Meredith out of the way of someone's shopping cart as they walked by, making sure she wouldn't get run over.

"Thanks," Meredith said.

Mark looked at her full hands, "Breakfast?" he asked

Meredith nodded.

"At least let me buy you coffee," he said, signaling towards the coffee bar adjacent towards them.

Meredith shrugged, "Okay", _Why not?_ She thought to herself.

Meredith walked off to pay for her items after telling Mark she'd have whatever it was he was having. She felt out of place. Seattle was big city but it seemed like her future high school was a big influence. How is that she had walked into the exact store he was at?

_Sometimes  
I forget I'm still awake  
I fuck up and say these things out loud_  
:::::::::::::::::::::::

Dirty mistresses club as deep roots. Don't worry, just a friendship.

Read and review please.

I'll post more as soon as I can.

-Viv


	22. Chapter 22

"Cappuccino," Mark said as he placed a coffee cup in front of Meredith. After paying for her items at the cashier, she took up residence outside in a wrought iron chair, her groceries on the sidewalk next to her feet. Meredith smiled, "thank you."

"So, you're Meredith," Mark said, it wasn't a question.

"Yes. I think you were with Derek, before we met that is", Meredith said, taking a sip of her hot coffee.

"Yeah, you looked upset."

"I was crying, so…yeah."

"Had a run in with Addison I hear."

Meredith rolled her eyes out of frustration, "Yeah, that too. The rumor mill around here is rampant."

"No, Derek gossips like a chick," Mark said with a laugh.

Meredith laughed too.

"I don't even know her and she treated me like crap."

"What'd she say that was so bad?"

"She asked me _where _ I came from."

Mark furrowed his eyebrows, "That's it?"

"She talked to me like I was dirt. It's not what you say, it's how you say it."

"Well, how did she say it?"

"Like…Meryl Streep or Judy Dench."

"Ouch," Mark said, leaning back in his seat and sipping his coffee.

Meredith cracked her knuckles out of habit.

"Angry works for you," Mark said, paying attention to the small scowl on her face that appeared as soon as she mentioned Addison.

"I'm not angry…I'm irritated. I don't even know the girl and she treated me like dirt. Just because I don't have a fancy family and two last names doesn't mean she gets to talk to me that way."

"Well for the sake of argument, the fact that we are in America allows her to do this. She is a snob though," Mark said trying to egg her on, she looked cute frustrated.

"I'm not going to argue about this. I don't like judgmental people."

"Well you don't have to like everyone."

"So what? She doesn't have to like everyone either, therefore she's allowed to hate me? What kind of bull shit is that? How about common courtesy? Or getting to know someone? Or hey…ignoring them all together, I'd much prefer that from Satan's mistress."

Mark laughed, _I like her already_, he thought to himself. "She's rough around the edges."

"But once you get to know her, she's better?"

"Not that I know of," he joked.

Meredith sighed, "Great," she said sarcastically. "Lots to look forward too in high school."

"High school is filled with drama and they'd like to tell you that that ends when you graduate but it doesn't. No one ever really grows up, they're all middle aged teenagers with angst."

"They?" Meredith asked.

"Oh yeah, the infamous 'they'. 'They' predict the weather, they change the traffic lights from yellow to red and they decide everything," Mark joked.

"Oh yes, the infamous they…how could I forget?" She asked, jokingly.

"Clearly you forgot the first rule of 'theirs'…deny they exist", Mark said, continuing on with their joke.

"Well, my lips are sealed, forget this happened."

Mark nodded, "Now you're catching on."

"So…you're Derek's friend? Are you on the swim team with him?"

"No. I play water polo."

"Siblings?"

"Only child."

"Parents?"

"Workaholics…I feel like I'm being interrogated," Mark mused.

"You are," Meredith joked.

"Well, I'll consent to a strip search if you need me too," Mark joked with a cocky smile.

Meredith rolled her eyes, "I don't want to get know you that well."

Mark nodded. "And you? Only child?" He asked Meredith.

"Yes."

"Parents?"

"Dad's not in the picture. And mom may as well not be either, I rarely see her. She's married to her job."

Mark nodded, thinking about his own life. His father was always away on business and his mother was focused on her career as well, Mark seemed to be an after thought in their lives. It was why he was so close to Derek and his family, they were like a surrogate family to him.

"I know, pathetic right?" Meredith asked.

Mark shook his head, "No. Not at all," he said, realizing they had more in common then they thought.

Meredith nodded, _he probably thinks I'm needy, _she thought to herself somewhat self consciously.

"You're breakfast is going to get cold," Mark said, nudging her bag with his foot. _Better to let her go before she figures out all the skeletons in my closet,_ he thought to himself.

Meredith nodded, "Yeah…don't want that….Thank you for the coffee."

Mark nodded as Meredith walked away with her bag. He was glad she ran into him and he was happy for Derek. Meredith was funny and witty and charming in her own way. He felt a kinship with her. They were more alike then he knew.

_We will make it out alive  
There's a note in the pages of the book  
So Sleep tonight,  
We'll sleep dreamlessly this time  
When we awake we'll know that everything's alright_

:::

The beginning of the Dirty Mistresses club. I love this friendship for many reasons.

Read and review.

-Viv


	23. Chapter 23

Meredith walked home slowly, sipping her coffee and smiling to herself despite, for once it wasn't about to rain, surprising Meredith. It was Seattle, after all. She got home and ate her somewhat warm breakfast, too lazy to microwave it. After all _food is food_ she always told herself in times of laze. Meredith reluctantly grabbed her phone and dialed Cristina, she had time after eating, it was only 10:30 by the time. She knew Cristina was not a morning person. This was one of the reasons they rarely had sleepovers. Cristina's first rule in the morning was _don't speak to me, unless I speak first_ ...Meredith respected it, hell she understood it.  
Two rings and a click, she had picked up...Meredith noticed the pause but chose to ignore it

"What does it mean when a really cute guy wants to hang out with you, more then once?" she asked her best friend, hoping for some encouraging words.  
"He wants to do you," Cristina said, her voice a bit raspy in the morning.

"Cristina!"  
"What? You really think he enjoys the warm conversation and the great laughs? That's what guy friends are for-the far less complicated sex."

"So he wants to be more than friends," Meredith mused.

"Well, the difference between guys and girls is huge. You know, besides anatomy. I really hope I'm not the first person to tell you this," Cristina said with a hint of sarcasm."

"Thanks for the obvious."

"I'm serious."

"Gee, really? Let's hear it then?"

"Say Derek introduces you to his friends. If they like you, their thoughts would be that they want a girl _like_ you...if his chick friends saw you and that Derek was friendly with you, then they would say something like, ' I'd kill her, for him' ...We're a lot more violent and a lot stronger in that sense."  
Meredith furrowed her brow and thought about it a little further, "Thanks Cristina, you know for the rude but true answers…Now I think I really should be scared of Addison and have no idea what's happening between Derek and myself."

"No problem. So McDreamy wants to hang out with you again?"

"McWho?" Meredith asked.  
" McDreamy. You know he thinks he's charming, in that atheletic, cocky, perfect hair, drives a German car sort of way."

"McDreamy huh?"

"It fits."

"Yeah…it does." Meredith decided, even though she and Cristina never used nicknames with each other because they were too corny, McDreamy oddly fit Derek in a way that encompassed who he was and what he looked like. She liked it. She also wondered where Cristina got the idea. Would all the guys in her life sound like sexy items off of a fast food chain's menu? What would that make Mark, she asked herself.

"I surprise myself on occasion," she said, both bursting into laughter.

"So…I'm meeting McDreamy today", Meredith said, testing out his new nickname.

"Surprise surprise. Got over your fear of whatever it was?"

"I don't know…I met Derek's friend, Mark, today and he was a bit reassuring."

"How so?"

"He was sane. And not at all judemental. I guess ice doesn't flow through everyone's veins."

"Is he hot too?" Cristina asked jokingly.

"He's got that rugged thing going on."

"All the pretty people find each other Meredith, how the heck does that happen?"

"I don't know. That high school must look like the pages of a magazine or something," Meredith thought out loud.

Time flew by for Meredith because she was on the phone with Cristina, they could talk for hours-on the phone or in public...their little rants went on for hours. They had what only best friends could have, complete and utter understanding of each other. They laughed so hard they cried, they didn't judge each other when they did cry and they told each other secrets.

"You're my person", Cristina had always put it when she chose to go to Meredith above any one else for any sort of problem. Middle school was over and now everyone was going to a different high school, she was glad Meredith and she would be able to stick together, life would be far different without her. This she knew, this she told no one, not even Meredith--_why stroke someone's ego?_--at least she thought. She knew that even though Meredith was spending time with other people from a different social circle, their friendship would not fade and it would not weaken, Cristina couldn't get jealous because she knew that what she and Meredith shared could never be replaced or replicated.

::

Meredith raced down the stairs as Derek rang the door bell. It was noon on the dot. Rare she thought, for a guy or any teenager for that matter to be punctual. She was pleasantly surprised this time about Derek's punctuality. She knew to be ready on time but it still struck her as a bit unusual. She opened the door quickly after racing down the stairs.  
Derek smiled as he looked at Meredith. Her hair was in slight waves after she hadn't blow dried it the night before and even in simple jeans and a Tshirt she never failed to look stunning.

"You seem surprised," _again,_ he thought; happy that he had that power over her.  
"A little," Meredith admitted.  
"You ready?" he asked her, looking behind her into his house. _Does she want to invite me in or something?_, he asked himself.

Meredith grabbed her purse from the banister of the stair case and returned to Derek, closing the door behind her.

"Ready," she said with a warm smile.  
"Good," Derek said as he let Meredith pass him on the stair case. "Who's car is that?" Derek asked as he saw a dark green BMW seven series pull into the driveway  
"No one," Meredith answered abruptly, but it was Ellis, she knew.  
"It sure looks like someone," Derek said, confused. Meredith darted down the rest of the stairs, trying to open Derek's car door even though it was locked.

"Can we go?" she asked urgently.

Derek walked over to unlock the door for her.

"Please," she pleaded.

"Sure," Derek said, seriously confused.

_I can not refuse your eyes,  
Please don't look at me tonight._


	24. Chapter 24

Meredith and Derek hopped in the car quickly, still he had the time to open the door for her as he had made a habit out of doing...out of kindness mostly...his mother taught him better then to be rude to girls.  
Derek left the curb as soon as possible, Meredith pleading with him in the passenger seat to hurry up made him do this. He had a hint of who the woman in the BMW was, but he didn't dare ask. If it was her mother, he knew that relationship was strained, he would let Meredith come around on her own- that is if she wanted to. He didn't want to drive her away any more then her escapade with Addison had driven her.

"Who _was_ that Mer?" he didn't mean to call her that, _You can tell me,_ he thought to himself. No one called her that other then Cristina. But when he said it, it sounded natural.

"What?" Meredith asked, dazed as she stared out the window, she hadn't even heard his question, instead she was replaying what just happened in her head, wondering and hoping that her mother didn't see Derek. She didn't want to venture into that side of adolescence with her mother. She sincerely doubted that her mother had any advice to give but she was content with it that way. She and Ellis would never gossip about crushes, Ellis was self centered and absent minded lately.  
Derek looked over at Meredith, whose mind seemed to be elsewhere, he put his hand on her leg for a second to wake her out of her trance, "Who was that in the green car?" he asked her again.

Meredith looked over at Derek as he placed his hand back on the steering wheel, "My mother," she said with no feeling at all, careful not to use the word 'mom'. Mom evoked a sense of warmth which Ellis lacked.  
"Why did we leave to quickly?" Derek asked, somewhat confused. He didn't know the extent of Meredith's animosity towards her mother.

"We don't get along that well," _That's an understatement,_ Meredith thought.

"So I heard," Derek said as he made a turn.

"Look the thing is," Meredith said as she fiddled with the leather stitching on the edge of the seat, "I don't want her to meet you," she said, not wanting to look at him.

Derek's face straightened out, _ouch, _he thought.

"It's not that I don't think you're going to be in my life that long, but I don't think you deserve that. In the good way, she can be brutal and you barely know me enough to take torture like that," _no one deserves that, _she thought to herself.

"She can't be _that_ bad," _can she? _ He asked himself.  
"Oh yes, yes she can," _why does no one but Cristina believe me when it comes to this?_ She asked herself. Meredith said as she looked Derek in the eyes, he took his eyes off of the road for a moment to acknowledge the hint of hurt creeping into her eyes as she no doubt thought of the cruel things her mother did that would negate any warm feelings she had towards her.

"She can make anything negative," _like a 4.0 GPA, _Meredith thought, thinking of their last fight.

"I doubt it," he said, not wanting to believe it for Meredith's sake.  
"No, try it", Meredith said, _you wouldn't believe it_, she thought to herself.  
Derek tried to think of something good, "Okay...Ellis I found the cure for cancer," he said, thinking it could have zero downside.

"It's too bad Grandma Rose couldn't experience that, pancreatic cancer is painful Derek."

Derek laughed at the ridiculousness of it all. "That..that sucks," he said, shaking his head in disapproval.

"Thanks", Meredith said sarcastically.

"Wow ."

"I know ."

"I mean…wow!", Derek said, still in disbelief.

"Derek, if you ever want to face my mother, then you're going to have to get a larger vocabulary and perhaps a larger set of balls," she said with a laugh.

Derek smiled, appreciating the fact that after every thing Meredith still had the courage to smile, "I think I'll buy some", he joked back.

"Good. So…you never did tell me where we were going," Meredith said, trying to change the subject. While he mother was a sore subject, she could bear to talk about her but not for too long. If she dwelled on it too long Meredith would only end up angry and hurt which is not something she liked to let Ellis make her feel often. She didn't like giving Ellis that kind of power of her, she was stronger than that.

"It's a surprise," Derek said with a smile.

"Seriously?"

"Yes, _seriously_," Derek said with a laugh at her impatience.  
"Fine," Meredith said, crossing her legs and looking out the window, if he wouldn't tell her where they were going, she decided she would try and figure it out herself.

Derek laughed at her stubbornness as they made their way to the place he wanted to show her.

_My heart beats fast I know you're there,  
And I pretend like I dont care._


	25. Chapter 25

Derek led her to a familiar scene; the diner where they had had breakfast not too long ago was off in the distance.

"Big surprise there Derek. What is this, déjà vu?", She asked, doubting his creativity somewhat.

"No, don't be so skeptical," he said as he pulled into a metered parking space.  
"I'm not," she said, hiding her doubts.  
"Trust me, or do you not do that either?", he joked  
"Fine, I trust that you're not being an ass," she quipped.

"Your kindness knows no bounds," Derek said as he pulled up the handbrake in the car and killed the engine.

"Nope," she said with an innocent smile.  
"We're here", Derek said happily.  
Meredith unbuckled her seatbelt and got out quickly, giving Derek no chance to open the door for her.

"No, go ahead," he mumbled to himself, she always did what he didn't think she would do.  
Meredith looked around, _what are we doing?_ She asked herself  
Derek walked up behind her, his chin nearly resting on her shoulder and his arm on her other shoulder; his finger pointed to the left.  
"_There_ is what we're doing" he whispered in her ear  
Meredith's eyes followed his fingers as goose bumps formed on her arms, she exhaled, her eyes found the boat he was talking about. It certainly wasn't a ferry boat, it was smaller and looked considerably faster.

"A boat?" she asked as she faced him, his arm still on her shoulder  
Derek nodded, "Ah, but a different kind of boat."

"What does this one do? Fly?" Meredith joked.

"No, this one takes you whale watching."

"Whale watching?" Meredith asked somewhat skeptically.

"Whale watching," Derek repeated.

"I've never been," _no one's ever taken me_ she thought to herself.

"Well, not a lot of people have. I thought it'd be fun."

Meredith beamed, it was like fulfilling some childhood fantasy, all those commercials for SeaWorld where finally materializing in a real way, she smiled.  
"Okay, I'm game," she said, her smile conveying her happiness.

"Good, cause it leaves in ten minutes, and I'd like to get on it...with you that is," Derek said as he removed his hand from Meredith's shoulder.  
"Okay Derek," she said as she walked away, causing his arm to fall.

Derek popped the hood of his car (the trunk on Porsches) and got out a black backpack, he followed her right after, jogging a bit to catch up with her.  
Derek caught up to Meredith as they headed onto the boat.

:::

"Are you cold?" Derek asked as they were on the boat, the wind whipping her golden tresses in the air.  
"For the fifth time, Derek I am fine!" she said as she leaned over the railing. He knew he had told her to bring a jacket, but she was so small to him, petite. He would be cold if he were her, that's what he thought. He had the sense to pack two jackets into the backpack he brought as well as binoculars for the whale watching, and a few water bottles.  
"You sure?" he joked with her, she hadn't asked for the spare jacket yet but as the wind would surely pick up, he had not doubt she would use it.  
"I'm sure", Meredith said with certainty.  
"Promise?"  
"I promise."  
"Good," he said as he took off his jacket and draped it onto her shoulders, "but even in the face of all that fine-ness...take my jacket Mer," he whispered the last part.

H_ard to argue with that_ Meredith thought to herself, _it's going to be a challenge staying friends with McDreamy, every word he says resonates in my ears and makes the hair stand up on the back of my neck...snap out of it! _She scolded herself.  
"So", he said moving on and trying to get that frown off of her face, "you said you like being on the water, any particular reason?"  
Meredith smiled as she closed her eyes, feeling the wind on her face. "Yeah, most of the time I have all these thoughts bouncing' around in my head but with being out here on the water, the world just gets kind of quiet. No school work, mid term papers or finals to think about and no drama out here…no sound but the wind," Meredith said, opening her eyes to look at Derek.

"You live your life so differently", _then anyone I know, "_it's refreshing", he added, appreciating her take on things.

"Yeah, people think they know you. They look at where you live and what your parents do and who you're friends are," she said looking at him for the last part.  
"You being friends with me changes things?", he asked, hoping she would say no.  
"I have gotten a lot more weird looks just walking down the street, mostly scowls from girls and whistling from boys," she said with a laugh.  
"I'm sorry ", _who's whistling at her? I'll kick his ass_, Derek thought.

"I told you though; I don't care what people think Derek."

Derek nodded, smiling at her as he too looked out on the water; the boat was making its way to the open ocean where they would see whales, feeling somewhat unworthy of her time.

_And my friends said  
(you'll never get her, never gonna get that girl)  
But I didn't care  
Cos I loved her long blonde hair  
Love was in the air  
And she looked at me  
And the rest is history_

Derek smiled as they both looked out at the water, just enjoying the moment  
Derek thought about how different they were. He had everything handed to him at life, the car he drove and the schools he was meant to go to. Her life was so much more difficult in comparison. She had the world at her feet and she knew exactly what she wanted, he on the other hand couldn't even decide if he could tell his dad that he did not want to go to Harvard. Every door was available to her, she had the ambition and drive to go anywhere in life, he knew that. Meanwhile, Derek only saw one door and he was being pushed through it. She had expectations placed on her too but she was infinitely stronger then he would ever be because she had the courage to fight them.

_She looked incredible,  
Just turned 15,  
I guess my friends were right,  
she's out of my leauge  
So what am I to do?  
She's too good to be true_

_She rocks my world more than any other girl_

_:::_

More to come soon.

Please read and review.

Enjoy.

-Viv


	26. Chapter 26

"Look at that", Meredith said, pointing to an Orca whale poking its head out of the dark blue waters. She pointed with the fascination of a child; this was an experience unlike any she had ever had before. Derek stared with wonder as Meredith did, they were two hours into the whale watching expedition and whales seemed to come from every side of the boat, it was a lucky day by anyone's standards. Derek stole glances at Meredith whenever he could, always feeling like he was caught when she would look back at him, but she never raised suspicion. He loved spending time with her, more so because she gave off an effortless attitude. He could tell she was happy but she was smiling and involved, also somehow detached- he felt like she could so easily walk away from him and still be happy whereas if she left his side, his smile would fade.

Meredith finally sat down on one of the benches of the boat, taking a sip from the water bottle Derek had given her from the backpack he brought along. They didn't even have to use the binoculars; the whales seemed to be venturing close to the boat that day. Derek mirrored her, her thirst reminding him of his.

"I met your friend, Mark," Meredith said, staring at Derek who was standing in front of her. Derek nearly choked on his water, coughing a few times to Meredith's surprise.

"You what?" Derek asked, genuinely surprised, _when? _ He asked himself.

"I ran into him…literally…this morning. He was nice. I had coffee with him."

"Really?", Derek asked, curious. _What else had Mark given her?_ he asked himself.

"Yes. He's nice, I like him," she said, remembering feeling some connection to him, platonic of course.

"Huh," Derek said, glad to have a good friend like Mark in his life. "You had coffee with him?", _she trusts easily_, Derek thought. After all, how had she known that this Mark was his Mark?

"Well, I vaguely remember him from the day we met. Plus, I firmly believe that you are the company that you keep, so I was curious", she said honestly.

"So you approve?" He asked half joking.

Meredith nodded, "Yes, of him," she said, intentionally leaving Derek out to see the expression on his face, his smile faded for a nanosecond, she laughed on the inside, _what an ego, _she thought.

Derek felt himself getting warm, the sun reflecting off the water radiated a warm heat, and he took off the spare jacket he had taken out of his backpack. Meredith relaxed on her bench as she leaned back.

"So...what were your plans? Taking me on a boat and seduce me?" Meredith asked playfully as Derek took off his jacket.  
"Are you seducible?" Derek asked, raising his eyebrows.  
_Only when you do the head tilting thing…and the leaning thing,_ she thought as she looked into his eyes. "No," she said, robbing him of confidence.

"Well, good. Neither am I," Derek said jokingly. She laughed at him, snorting a little.

"What? You don't believe me?" Derek asked, feigning disbelief,_ her laugh is adorable, _ he thought.  
_I'm sure_ Meredith thought to herself, she'd heard all the stories about him and his friends, _womanizers_ Cristina called em', she remembered well. _Then again, it was hard to resist,_ she thought.  
"Not really", she said, downplaying it, not wanting to permanently bruise his poor ego.

"Seriously?" Derek asked, borrowing her phrase from the car earlier.  
Meredith nodded, "Yes, seriously."  
Derek ran a hand through his hair as he sat down next to her, "Well, thanks for the brutal honesty," he said to her.

"No worries," she said, catching a glimpse of another whale as it jumped out of the water with a couple of others. _Gorgeous,_ she thought to herself, Derek looking at her and thinking the same thing.

_We've gotten this far  
Again and again.  
Well, you know how this starts  
But tell me how do you want this to end?_

_:::_

Their day winded on after whale watching, leading them to exploring the city further on foot. They stopped by an outdoor market, buying a couple of apples to hold them over until lunch time as they walked on. The streets were getting crowded, it was lunch hour and as the people on the sidewalk multiplied, Meredith grabbed Derek's hand. Derek looked down at his hand for a second and kept walking, "Don't want to lose you," she said. Derek nodded, "It's getting a little crazy," he said, referring to the people on the street. Meredith pulled him into a restaurant, it was filled with a college crowd; a place that served the best hamburgers in town. Derek followed her without hesitancy, and not only because she was holding his hand. He'd follow her to Mexico if that's where she intended on taking them.

"You've been here before?" Derek asked as she let his hand go, the absence of her warmth missing from his palm.

"No, but I'm starving."

"Good enough reason," Derek decided.

"I thought so," Meredith said as she stood in line with Derek to order. The three options on the menu, Hamburger, Cheeseburger or Veggie Burger,made it easier to decide.

Meredith ordered for them, offering to pay this time, Derek refusing. They took a seat at a small table in the back as they waited for their food to show up.

"You always do things on a whim?" Derek asked as she sipped her soda.

"Yes, it seems to work out…I let you drive me home on a whim the other day,"_ can't regret that_, she told herself.

"I'm not knocking it, I'm just interested," Derek stated.

"You seem to over think things, step back and relax- it's good for your mental health. You don't want to die of a massive coronary at 65."

Derek raised his eyebrows, "Lovely picture you paint," he joked.

"Stress is unhealthy," Meredith said in response as she pulled her hair back in a pony tail, she could feel the salt from the sea air on it, it dried it out a bit and gave her slight waves.

_take my hand never release the sweetness, the magic, and happiness_

_:::_

Meredith had finished her double cheeseburger and fries as easily as Derek had. He smiled to himself, thinking how some girls would be calculating the calories in them rather then eating them.

"Thank you, for lunch," she said to Derek after wiping her hands on her napkin.

Derek smiled, "Your welcome," he said, thinking she was the one who was doing him a favor; being around her was worth more then anything to him. Derek fiddled with his napkin, ripping the corners off, looking up at Meredith. "You really believe that you are the company that you keep?" Derek asked, referring back to Meredith's comment on the boat.

Meredith nodded, "Absolutely. Why?"

"Well Addison doesn't always make the best impressions. I don't want you to believe that I'm like her. You should meet my other friends-that is I want you to meet them", he said, looking in her eyes for approval.

"Really?", she asked, she liked spending time with him but in her mind, Addison was intimidating and Mark was sweet, _what are the odds that they are all like Mark?_ She asked herself. _He is probably the exception and not the rule_, she told herself.

"Really," Derek said, putting down the shredded napkin from his hand, "You could introduce me to your friends too," he said, hoping she'd say yes. _If you truly are the company that you keep, she must have great friends too_, he thought.

"Yeah, that sounds good," she said, _Cristina is going to embarrass me,_ she thought with a smile. Sure it would be embarrassing but she ventured to say it would be interesting as well. "I have to warn you though, Cristina has a dark sense of humor, don't take her too seriously or she'll call you out on it."

Derek laughed a little, "She sounds funny."

Meredith nodded, "You have no idea," she said, thinking about Cristina's nickname for Derek.

Derek smiled at her, thinking it was great that she met Mark, and actually liked him. He had a penchant for dirty jokes, which would offend some girls, clearly Meredith didn't seem to mind.

"So...today was fun," Meredith said, not able to remember a day where she felt more amazed, as they whale watched and saw the city on foot.

"Today's not over," Derek said, a slightly smug look on his face he had more planned out.

"There's more?" Meredith asked, curiously.

"Yes," Derek said, getting up from the table and waiting for Meredith to get up as well. _What the heck is next?_ She asked herself, thinking that she had already experienced a once in a lifetime sight earlier in the day. He led her out of the now crowded restaurant with his hand on the small of her back, making sure to open the door for her when she reached it.

_Chivalry never dies_, Meredith thought, thinking about all the men in the black and white movies she and Cristina liked to watch. Derek was a gentleman, and she knew that was rare, especially in a sixteen year old.

Derek smiled brightly, surprising Meredith brought him joy too, he liked seeing the smile on her face and the wonder in her eyes- it would never get old.

_And all that I know is that I still hear the sound of your voice when I'm closing my eyes._

_:::_

Read and review.

-Viv


	27. Chapter 27

Derek had decided to himself yesterday that because Meredith was no ordinary girl he wouldn't take her on an ordinary date. He wanted something different and something defined her personality as well. He had actually caved and called Mark, who seemed to be expert on dating- Mark assured him that sitting down at an overpriced restaurant with Meredith was not going to cut it. She seemed like she didn't care about money, he said, summing her up from the ten minute conversation they had had. _Fun,_ he had told himself the night before and had decided that the perfect way for them to have fun was to do something that was a bit juvenile. Miniature golf was over done and he didn't want to seem contrite, he remembered the indoor kart racing that he and Mark ventured to a few times a year; racing small cars at 40 mph inside a warehouse sized track was incredibly fun. Meredith had not been expecting it and in all honesty when they pulled up to the industrial district of the neighborhood where they were, she had no idea what they were up to.

"Where are you taking me?" Meredith asked, after Derek had opened the car door for her. "Because this is usually how horror movies start," she said, trying to keep pace with his steady stride. He was anxious to surprise her and it showed in his step.

"You'll see, have a little faith," he said to her, trying to assuage her nerves.

_That doesn't come easily for me_, she told herself, _doesn't he know that?_ She asked herself. "Okay, I'll try," she said as they walked up towards the unmarked building. She had never been there before but then again she didn't have a car and neither did her friends, the places she went were limited. _Where the heck is he taking me?_ She asked herself. Derek opened the heavy glass door of the place for her, allowing her to go in first. She could hear the miniature roar of the engines of the karts inside of the building, they echoed off the walls. There were a few people in there, mostly sons with their fathers and guy friends sharing laughs. Meredith's smile grew, "We're going to do that?" she asked, pointing to the race track and the karts that were whizzing by.

Derek nodded, "Yes," he said with confidence; sure he had picked the right place to bring her.

"Really?" she asked, ecstatic, jumping up a bit.

Derek laughed a bit, "Yes, really. Let's get some helmets Grey."

Meredith ran ahead of him to where they had to check in, "Oh Derek, it's sad really because I am so going to kick your ass in this" she said with a playful smile.

Derek smiled, "We'll see, we'll see," he said, thinking it was impossible. His father had taught him how to drive. He drove a Porsche, a well oiled German super car, he drove well_,_ he thought to himself. Then again, Meredith was full of surprises, he wouldn't put is past her, for all he knew her long lost father was Michael Schumacher and she was going to rightfully kick his ass on the track. Derek swallowed his pride and followed her; unsure if this was going to end well for his ego.

:::

"I lapped you," Meredith squealed with delight as she took her helmet off, "Did you see that?" She asked Derek.

Derek nodded, "Yeah," he said, wondering where the heck she learned to drive like that. She cut corners, fish-tailed the kart and at one point had the tires smoking. "Remind your mom to get you a slow car when you are ready to drive, for your safety."

Meredith laughed, "That was such a high!" she said as they walked off the track, the other teenaged guys in attendance also stared at Meredith, she got a couple of whistles as she walked by them, the way Derek looked at the guys stopped that as soon as it began. "You were amazing," Derek said as they followed the others getting out of the track, the line was big. Derek grabbed Meredith's hand, wanting to avoid the line; the waist high barrier fence was short enough to hop over for Derek. He placed one hand on the top bar and hopped over, turning back to help Meredith. Meredith raised her eyebrows and looked to the side, "You expect me to do that?" she asked seriously. Derek shook his head, "No, I'll help you", he said as he grabbed her hands and placed them on his shoulders. He put his hands on her hips and lifted her easily over the waist high fence. He let her go once her feet were over, it was over in a split second but somehow Meredith could still feel that mid air feeling in the pit of her stomach. "Thank you," she said, not removing her hands from his shoulders, not remembering to. A couple of the guys who had been eyeing her whistled wolf whistle as they saw her and Derek embracing. Meredith instantly let go of him, causing Derek to remove his hands as well. "We should go, before they lock is in," he said, trying to make light of the situation.

Meredith smiled, "Yeah, I don't want to sleep in a cold warehouse" she said, as she followed Derek out.

_And when i touch you I feel happy inside  
it's such a feeling that my love, i can't hide  
I can't hide_


	28. Chapter 28

Meredith and Derek headed out to the parking lot toward Derek's Porsche. He couldn't deny the fact that he liked having her arms around him and he liked having his hands on her waist, her touch was warm and inviting. Meredith's smiled hadn't faded since they came out.

"I kicked your _ass_ Derek Shepherd," Meredith said as she turned to face him and walked backwards towards the car.

Derek put his hands in his pockets, "Really gracious winning there Meredith," he said, poking fun at her gloating.

"Don't be so sensitive Derek, I'm sure there are things that you are better at then I am, we just haven't found them…Are you sure you don't want me to drive home for you," she asked jokingly.

Derek shook his head, trying to fight a smile, "You forget you don't have a license," he said as he opened her door for her.

Meredith leaned against the car before getting in, facing Derek, "Admit it," she said, "you didn't expect that," she said with a wide smile.

"No, I really didn't."

"Because I'm a girl?"

"Well…no. I don't know. You didn't strike me as a racing enthusiast."

"Well I'm no gear head but this was fun."

"Every guy's jaw dropped in there when you took off your helmet and there was long blonde hair instead of a guy's hair."

Meredith smiled, "Really?" she asked.

"Really," Derek said as he leaned against the car, next to her.

"Wow," Meredith said, impressed with herself. "And you?" she asked Derek, "What did were thinking?"

Derek faced her, "I was pretty damn proud that you were there with me."

Meredith smiled at Derek, her body turning towards his. _Dear god, that boy can lean_, she thought to herself.

Derek smiled towards Meredith, _god I want to kiss her,_ he thought to himself, getting the courage to lean in towards her.

_Is he going to kiss me?_ Meredith asked herself as Derek was about to lean in towards her.

Meredith straightened out, moving her eyes from Derek's lips to his eyes and back again.

Their would be moment was interrupted by horns honking; a group of guys in a truck were driving by, the ones that Meredith beat inside. "Yow," they yelled, trying to embarrass them. Meredith laughed and turned a bit red. Derek bit his lower lips and contemplated throwing his shoe against their truck but decided against it.

Meredith smiled, and got into the car, leaving Derek hanging. Derek closed her door softly, silently cursing himself on the way to his side of the car, resolving to himself that he would kiss her as he walked her to the door tonight.

"No more surprises?" Meredith asked, half joking. It was dark outside, they had spent the day having fun and getting to know each other. It was the most fun Meredith had had in a long time and the most adventurous thing she had done as of late. It may have been summer vacation but her vacation was not filled with beach trips, bon fires or amusement parks; she was confined to where she could walk to. She was glad for the company too; she genuinely liked Derek even though they were different from each other.

Derek started the car, "Not unless you have any planned," he said as he buckled himself up, smiling at her before putting the car in reverse.

"No" she said with a content smiled as he drove her home. Meredith stared at the stars in the sky, at the crisp clarity of the night sky and wondered to herself if these were the butterflies that people always talked about, because something sure as heck was stirring inside of her.

_I'm learning to fall, with no safety net, to cushion the blow~Anyone who, can touch you, can hurt you, or heal you~_

_::::_

"Could you just drop me off here?" Meredith asked as Derek pulled to the side of the road, they were a few houses away from Meredith's house and the green BMW was still in the driveway.

"Are you going to be in trouble?" he asked her, _surely her mom doesn't physically abuse her_, Derek thought.

Meredith shook her head, "No. But I don't want to get hounded as to whose car I am in."

"Right," Derek said, trying to understand her aversion to her mother.

"I'm sorry," she said as she unbuckled her seat belt. "Today was the most fun I've had in years," Meredith said as she kissed Derek on the cheek and bolted out of the car, jogging across the street before Derek even heard the car door close behind her. _Shit_!He thought to himself. _Damn her mother_, he thought to himself as he drove to his house, wondering whether or not he had lost his chance at kissing Meredith Grey. It wasn't too late, he resolved, he would make a big gesture. She knows, he thought,_ she knows that I like her. _

_I've been sitting watching life pass from the sidelines  
Been waiting for a dream to seep in through my blinds  
I wondered what might happen if I left this all behind  
Would the wind be at my back ? Could I get you off my mind  
This time_

_:::::_

Meredith had left in haste the night before and Derek decided that he would spend the morning with his best friend. He headed to the driving range near Mark's house, wanting to get some friendly advice from his confidant. Mark had a way with girls, they seemed to turn to jello in front of him- surely he could help with Meredith.

They had filled a large bucket of balls, and found relaxation in the monotony of the driving range.

"You didn't kiss her, you idiot?" Mark asked as he took a swing at the golf ball in front of him, "Shit, that's gotta be like three hundred yards, did you see that?" he asked as he turned to face Derek.  
"More like two fifty," he said, taking the golf club from his hand.  
"I can't believe you didn't kiss her! What the hell is wrong with you?"

Derek ran a hand through his hair, trade marking his frustration. "I know," Derek said with a sigh. Derek dropped a ball on the ground, they were at the driving range. It was a place to let out frustrations. Whacking a titanium ball with a metal stick as his mom put it, was pretty cathartic, it also helped that the golf course was beautiful.

"She may look innocent and everything…regardless Derek, you are dealing with _the_ most complicated species on earth."

"That's not helping my cause," Derek said as he hit the gold ball in front of him, it made a nice sound against the driver her used, "Did you see that?," he asked Mark.  
Mark squinted, following the ball, "Two hundred yards tops."  
"Yeah well, anyone can hit a ball with a nine iron," he said, tossing the driver to Mark, Mark caught it with ease and placed the nine iron in Derek's hand.

"Try it for real this time," Derek urged him.  
Mark let out a deep breath as he aligned himself parallel with the ball. "Okay, but you might cry I'm so good," he said with a confident smile.  
Derek scoffed.  
Mark shot the ball across the course, hitting the three hundred yard sign squarely. "What did I tell you?" he asked, a cocky look slapped on his face.  
Derek grabbed the driver out of his hands, "Fluke," he said as it was his turn.

Mark hung back and watched the ball go past the two hundred yard marker, not making it past where his ball was. He didn't even need to say anything, Derek saw that he couldn't top Mark's previous swing; instead he gave Mark a look that said 'don't say anything'.

"She's pretty," Mark said matter of factly, it didn't sound dirty or like a come on, it sounded like a fact.

Derek nodded in agreement.

"You have to be extra careful, she's way too independent to wait around for you," Mark said, summing up the small part of her personality he experienced.

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"It means Derek," Mark said, as he grabbed the driver from Derek's hand and dropped a ball on the green, whacking it so seamlessly that it went past the 300 yard sign, "That you don't tick her off. She'll break your heart with a smile," he said half joking.

Derek didn't look any better after what Mark thought was good advice.

"Well I don't plan on ticking her off, or breaking her heart."

Mark pointed the end of the blub at Derek, "Don't make promises you cannot keep Shepherd."

Derek nodded, "Thanks."

"God, what would you do without me?" Mark asked jokingly.  
Derek grabbed the club from his hand, "Have my own bucket of balls?" he asked, as he turned over the empty bucket beside them with his foot.  
"Over rated," Mark said, "besides you seem to be lacking in the balls department lately," he said as he slapped his friends back. They headed back to the car as Derek started to think of what to do about Meredith. He was navigating uncharted territory He had never cared so deeply about a girl before.

_We've got nothing but time on our hands_


	29. Chapter 29

Meredith managed to sneak inside without suspicions from her mother, for all Ellis knew, Meredith was just hanging out with a friend. Which in it's most basic definition, was what she was doing…no need to divulge details with the cold mother who never cared, Meredith decided. The weirdest part was that Ellis didn't even bring up the red Porsche or what had happened earlier in the day. It was as if her mind was some where else. Meredith knew she was married to her job but this was all consuming she thought, maybe her problems ran deeper, Meredith thought to herself as she came down stairs from a shower to greet her mother.

"Mom," Meredith said as she poured herself a glass of water. Ellis was sitting at the coffee table reading medical texts, brushing up on a procedure no doubt.

"Meredith," she said in response, monotonously, without looking up.

_Nice talking to you to…_Meredith had grumbled to herself._ My day? Glad you asked, it was fine, I have the biggest crush on this guy but hey…you don't give a crap,_ Meredith thought to herself as she took her glass of water and headed up the stair case.

::

Meredith recounted the events of the night before, with Cristina the morning after.

"At least she doesn't hassle you," was Cristina's response. Meredith thought about and couldn't choose whether or not she wanted her mother to care. She didn't mind avoiding a fight, but at least her mother could acknowledge that she existed, or pretend to.

"I called you a few times last night," Cristina said to Meredith as they walked to the park that was down the street from their houses. Cristina had managed to sneak out of her mother's house by telling her she was going shopping, something which her mother's eyes up in an instant.

"Yeah, sorry about that, I think I conked out early," Meredith said as she kicked off her flats when they approached the swings, she dug her feet in the sand as she sat down on one of the swings; Cristina sat down next to her with her tennis shoes on.

"It's not like I thought you were dead," Cristina said as she pushed herself back with her legs.

"Well, good," Meredith said with a hint of sarcasm, _ at least one person would care, _she thought bitterly.  
"Come on, at least you're smarter then that...I didn't really think that you were lying in a ditch some where dead."  
"Well thanks, my mom taught me better then that, you're supposed to not come home at all" she said, lacing their conversation with some sarcasm. It was Meredith's thing to laugh at matters that weren't funny to most.  
"She's cold," Cristina said as she began swinging higher.

Meredith nodded, trying to get her mind off it, she switched the subject, "I think Derek was going to kiss me," she said to Cristina blankly, not knowing exactly what to make of it,

Cristina laughed, "I told you he wants to do you."

"Cristina!"

"Meredith!", Cristina said, imitating her voice.

"That's not true. I like spending time with him."

"Well he sure likes spending time with you, he wants to spend lots of time with you," she joked.

"I swear you have boy brain."

"I'm not that stupid."

"He wants me to meet his friends, since I met his unnecessarily gorgeous best friend, I assume he wants to meet you…and I am to meet his friends," she said, the end of her sentence sounding contemplative.

"He wants to show you off."

"Shut up."

"You can borrow some of my heels," Cristina said, as she was out-swinging Meredith.

"I hate you," Meredith said, her sentence dripping with disdain.

"Well, Mer, The initiation? I wouldn't miss that!", Cristina said, sounding excited.

"What are you talking about?", Meredith asked, confused.

"Well, when guys introduce you to their friends, they are seeking approval…"

"Cristina, we're just friends," Meredith said, _thus far,_ she thought,_ I could have sworn he was going to kiss me._

"Yeah well, last I checked you never smiled that much. And he helps with the being mad at your mother thing. Ignoring my phone calls," she joked, "what were you doing? Pulling petals off daises and picking your fate? _He loves me, he loves me not?_" Cristina joked with a laugh.

"I was not ignoring you," Meredith said, defending herself, even though Cristina didn't sound mad.

"Don't worry about it, I'm fine--but is he? I mean why is he taking you every where and introducing you, you don't have to validate friendships, you validate relationships!!"

"We're friends Cristina, and you either take it as it is, or you stop talking about it!!!", Meredith yelled back with the same amount of vigor as Cristina.  
"Why?!" Cristina asked as she dug her feet in the sand and stopped swinging.

Meredith shook her head, not wanting to answer, not knowing what to say really.

"Because...I don't _just_ want to be friends with him,"she said, half mumbling, loud enough for Cristina to hear.

Cristina's angry face evaporated into a smile. She knew she could get it out of Meredith one way or another

_And I don't know if it's me or you  
But I can see the skies are changing  
In all the shades of blue  
And I don't know which way it's gonna go_

_:::::_

Meredith's phone vibrated not too long afterwards.

**From: Derek**_**, **_it read; **"If you're still up for meeting my friends we are playing football in the park at noon. Bring Cristina too."**

Meredith shut her phone and put it in her pocket.

"Derek wants me to meet his friends sooner rather than later."

Cristina raised her eyebrows, about to say something, Meredith cutting her off, "Don't say it," she said, pleading.

Cristina could read Meredith like a book, a closed book that is. Meredith was hard to get to know. Cristina regarded Derek as a crush; summer love and improbable romance. He was popular, a prep and cared about his hair more then most, she didn't give a crap if she had pink streaks or a pixie cut.

"When?" Cristina asked instead.

"Noon," Meredith said as she too stopped swinging. "They want to play football. I can run faster then he can," she laughed. "Just don't say anything to Derek," Meredith said, hinting at her confession moments before.

"I won't I promise" she said as she looked in Meredith's eyes, she knew that what she had said was for her ears only, told in confidence and never to repeated.  
They decided that Meredith needed tennis shoes, and they both needed to be better dressed for football so they turned to walk back to their houses to get ready.  
"Let's kick some preppy ass" Cristina said with a laugh as they approached their houses.

Meredith smiled, Cristina had a way of making light of every situation.

_Yeah I know you just can't stand it  
When things don't go your way  
But we've got no control over what happens anyway_

_::::_

Read and review please.

-Viv


	30. Chapter 30

Meredith and Cristina both changed into more comfortable clothing, Meredith opting for light blue shorts and a white t-shirt while Cristina donned black capris and a red shirt. They both put on tennis shoes, ready for the running they would be faced with. They were tom boys and would rather get dirty then sit at home and paint their nails; in fact Meredith couldn't remember the last time she painted her nails as she looked at the chipped fragments of black nail polish left on her nails.  
Meredith put her hair in a pony tail as she stared in the mirror, unsure if this was the right thing to do. _Why do I feel nervous?_ She asked herself as she headed down the stairs, outside to meet Cristina.

Cristina had put on a head band and her hair in a bun. She was stretching outside, pulling her leg behind her, as Meredith was coming out of her doorway, "You look mean," Meredith said jokingly as she passed her on the stair case, commenting o the scowl on Cristina's face. "Yeah, well I intend on winning," she said, her competitive edge always showing.

"Ready?" Meredith asked as she waited for Cristina. Cristina nodded as they headed towards the park. _They don't know what's coming,_ Meredith said. Cristina was scary competitive, which Derek's friends would soon find out. They walked side by side to the park.

"Are his friends hot?" Cristina asked in all seriousness.

Meredith shrugged, "Mark's good looking, and I don't think his other friends would be train wrecks. Pretty people tend to find pretty people," she said, thinking about meeting Mark.

"Just a bunch of needlessly good looking boys, running around…_this _is why I'm coming," Cristina said, smiling at Meredith, only half joking. She was there to support her friend, and ogle Derek's friends. That's what eye candy is for after all, she thought to herself.

"Yes. Needlessly good looking boys," Meredith said with a slight smile.

"Well, hopefully they're not all idiots."

Meredith laughed, "Can't have everything," she joked as they crossed the street.

…

They came closer to the center of the park where the guys could be seen up close.  
_"Let's kick some preppy ass"_ Cristina had said with a laugh, as they approached the good looking guys, Meredith swore that wasn't even an option.

Meredith and Cristina approached the boys, six in total all gorgeous and all athletic looking. Cristina had her eyes on all of them. Derek, in white, stood next to Mark, a black t-shirt on his back, their backs towards Meredith and Cristina. They were surrounded by their friends; a light browned hair boy stood next to Derek, another dark haired guy in front of them in a grey shirt, a blonde guy in blue, and another wavy dark mane donning the last head of the guy in a green t-shirt. They all looked athletic and muscular.  
"Thank_ you_ God, nice job!" Cristina said as she looked to the sky.  
Meredith laughed, "This is why you thank god?"

"Is there a better reason?" she asked, seriously.

Meredith shook her head, still laughing a little. Mark tapped Derek's shoulder and pointed towards Meredith, recognizing her from the other day. Derek's face lit up, he walked up to the girls, football in hand.

Meredith smiled, "Hey."  
Derek answered with a smile more than anything, his perfectly white teeth showing, even making Cristina smile, for a second.  
"This is Cristina," she said pointing to Cristina.

"How are you?" Derek asked, politely.

"Fine," Cristina said, walking away towards the others.

Derek raised his eyebrows. "Is she always that kind?", he asked, seriously wondering what he had said to offend her.

"That was 'fine and you', in Cristina language," she said, compensating for Cristina's brusqueness. She tried not to laugh, _Cristina Yang: bruising egos all over the world,_ she thought.

"That was short," Derek said as he walked with Meredith to join the rest of the guys as well.

Meredith walked, her smile somewhat fading,_ Jesus, pretty people really do find each other, _she thought to herself.

Mark smiled at Meredith; she smiled back, not feeling so alone in all of this.

Derek walked proudly next to Meredith, the other guys noticed her too. She had an innocent look about her. Derek pointed with football in hand, "This is Mark," he said pointing to the tallest of the guys, chiseled chin, short hair and muscles any Abercrombie model would trade his soul for, clarifying for Cristina's sake as well. Cristina looked over at Meredith and nodded in approval; Meredith smiled and mouthed 'told you' to her, she wasn't lying when she said he was good looking.

"Weiss," he said pointing the guy next to Mark, hair darker then Derek's and longer as well as wavier Meredith noticed, Cristina's eyes skipping him all together, he skipped her radar all together, too much like McDreamy, except with brown eyes, she thought,

Derek went on to the tall blond with the short but disheveled hair, as if he just woke up, he could have been Chad Michael Murray's clone, Meredith thought, "Riley", Derek said, Cristina nodded, thinking for the life of her she wouldn't remember every one's name. _I shall call you Blondie_, she thought to herself. Derek finished the line up; Meredith tried keeping the names straight in her head as well. The light brown haired boy was next, his hair was as long as Derek's but straight and a lot lighter, he looked shy, "This is James, he's quiet," he whispered to Meredith, "and this is Ben", he said pointing lastly to the second tallest of the bunch and the only one in long pants.  
Derek smiled proudly, "This is my Meredith...I mean Meredith, not _my_ Meredith," he said, after clearing his throat. Mark openly laughed at Derek's idiocy. Cristina, in her brutal honesty, rolled her eyes. Weiss laughed a little before Mark elbowed him in the stomach, giving him a look that said that that was not okay. Riley raised his eyebrows as he looked at Meredith, thinking she was pretty damn cute.  
"And this is Meredith's friend, Cristina," Derek said, Mark looking at her, trying to read her face. She was fiery, he could already tell. Cristina half smiled might as well be polite she thought.  
"So how are we doing this Derek, we each get a chick?" Ben asked, his arms folded over his chest.

"Yeah, and who gets stuck with more guys?", Meredith fired back, thinking Ben's comment didn't sound like a positive one.  
Cristina laughed; Mark smiled at Derek, liking the fact that Meredith could fend for herself.  
"How bout girls are captains?" Meredith offered.

"Let's do it," Mark said in approval, leaving no room from argument from anyone.  
Cristina crossed through their semi- circle, standing in the middle, joined by Meredith.

"Derek," Meredith said with a smile, as if there were no substitutions. Cristina nodded, knowing full well that was going to happen, she wouldn't have picked him, in her mind, he _was _Meredith's.

"Mark," Cristina said, he had the biggest muscles, he could be useful she thought, and easy on the eyes. Mark smiled and stood next to Cristina, staring at Derek, his eyes showing his excitement, _this is going to be fun,_ he thought.

Meredith knew nothing about the other guys there, it was blind faith, "James," _he may be quiet, but it's the quiet ones you watch out for, _Meredith knew that for a fact.  
"Weiss," Cristina retorted, faced with him or pretty blond Riley as she referred to him in her head, he was better in her head.

Meredith looked back at Derek for guidance, he was standing behind her, he bent down a little, and whispered, "Ben plays hockey, Riley's going to be quarterback of the JV team," he said quickly. "Riley!" Meredith said with excitement, Riley smiled back at her enthusiasm as he joined her team. "This'll be interesting," he said looking at the petite girl in front of him.  
"Your mine" Cristina said to Ben, possessively.

"Great," he said, somewhat sarcastically.

"Well then I guess it's _on_ Cristina", Meredith half joked, not wanting to take it too seriously but knowing that Cristina would for sure.

"Bring it," she said as she walked off with her team.  
Derek grabbed miniature cones from the bench near them and dropped one on the grass, running to the other side and dropping the other, he threw a couple to Mark who took the other two and place them on the far end of their now makeshift field.  
Cristina headed down the field with her team, "Okay, let's block from the left. Keep tight on the running back and blitz if we can", she said, sounding more like a coach than a fellow team mate.

Mark scoffed a little, "Why don't you just let us take care of that sweetie," he said, not used to being bossed around by girls, especially when it came to sports.

"Excuse me? We can settle this right here," Cristina said, looking up into Mark's eyes,

"Is that so?" Mark asked, thinking she looked funny, in a good way, the angrier she got.

"Oh yeah," she said raising her eyebrows. Mark laughed a little.

"Hey, kick off," Ben said, looking at his watch, "break it up ladies."  
Mark gave him a dirty look for interrupting his flirting.

Where Cristina had taken charge and led her team down the field, Meredith walked with them, not wanting to seem too bossy.

Derek held the football out to Meredith, "You want to kick it?" he asked her.

Meredith laughed, "And fall flat on my ass? I don't think so. I can run though, I'll cover Cristina," she offered instead.

"All right, Riley?" Derek asked, as he threw the ball to him.

Riley threw the ball to James, in a perfect spiral; he held it on the ground with a finger, poised for kick off.

Riley took one step to the left and three steps back before blasting the ball with all his force, he wasn't a kicker but he learned quickly and had seen it done daily. The ball landed on the ground as the other team scrambled for it, Meredith reaching the fifty yard line faster then even Riley. Riley looked at Meredith and then back at Derek, not believing his own eyes.

_::::_

"Who the hell is this Meredith chick?" Ben asked as he wiped his forehead, beads of sweat forming during the game were beginning to sting his eyes. "What the hell, is she on the track team?" asked Weiss.  
"Chicks have endurance man" Mark said with a devilish grin.  
"Can we just focus?" Cristina interrupted their huddle, "No wonder we're losing," she said with frustration.

"We're tied," Weiss said, confused.

"Same thing," Cristina said with a dismissive wave of her hand, "Let's gain some yards, maybe score a touch down or something," she said as she walked away from the huddle.

_Everybody wants to know her name,  
How does she cope with her new found fame?_

It had been an eventful game, consisting of Cristina yelling at her team. She was convinced that without her they wouldn't have scored any points at all and she was probably right, most were busy speculating where they may have seen Meredith before and where had Derek found her. Mark spent the time laughing at Cristina's attitude, feisty he called her. He found it funny. He spent his time finding ways to piss her off, just to see her reaction. She yelled at him, which he found comical, even Derek laughed at the situation.  
It was two hand touch, and Mark was Mark...always tagging Meredith when she had the ball, her hips, her shoulders- sending surges of jealousy through Derek's body and dirty looks radiating from his eyes. Mark knew what he was doing to Derek, but did Derek know what Meredith did to him?

Every touchdown Meredith's team scored was surging anger through Cristina. Riley found it unbelievable that she was so good, and so pretty- he didn't miss a chance to congratulate her on a good pass, or a touchdown, anything really. Derek thought he was just being friendly and thought nothing of it.

::::

"Hell yes" Riley said as he gave James a high five at the end of the game that they had won by two touchdowns.  
"That's how we do it!", James yelled back, Meredith drowning in testosterone.  
"Nice job everyone," Derek said, patting the guys on the back, as he walked towards Meredith. Meredith smiled as she hugged him, he wrapped his arms around her, lifting her a little, "Good job," she said, Meredith had managed to outrun everyone that day, scoring two touchdowns on her own. "You too," Derek said, breathing in her lavender shampoo. "Put me down," she whispered to Derek. Derek let go of Meredith gently, "Oh, yeah of course," he said as her feet touched the grass. Meredith smile, winning felt great she thought, or was that the hug? She asked herself.

_Everybody wants to know her name.  
How does she cope with her new found fame?  
Everyone asks me,  
Who the hell is she,_

Ben kicked the grass, pissed at his team, pissed that he lost to a girl.  
Cristina ditched her team and walked over to Meredith, "That was a fluke," she said her hands on her hips.

Meredith shook her head, "Whatever you say," she said, knowing it was best not to argue with her when she was pissed.

Cristina sat down on the grass, exhausted. Meredith joined her and sprawled out next to her, catching her breath.

"Good game," she managed, she would only say it to Meredith.  
"You too," Meredith said, breathlessly. They understood each other, the looks alone that they exchanged spoke volumes.  
The guys all gathered around Derek at the other end of the field.

"Who the hell is she?" Ben asked, still looking at Meredith.  
James nodded, as he wiped the sweat off of his forehead, "She's funny," he said, referring to Meredith.  
"She's got balls, ran up against Mark," Weiss said, patting Mark's shoulder, he stood a full head above Weiss.

"Yeah, she's cute," Mark added to aggravate Derek; he had seen the jealous look in his eyes. Derek's jaw tightened for a second, as he contemplated shoving Mark, Mark was messing with him simply because he could.

"Is she single?", Riley asked, everyone in the circle looking at him, especially Mark.

"What?" Derek asked, not sure if he heard right.

"Well, you guys are friends right?" Riley asked.

Mark looked between Derek and Riley, if ever a time to grow a pair this was it, he thought.

"Uh…" Derek said, _No!_ he yelled in his head,

"Is it okay if I ask her out?" Riley asked as he looked at Meredith, she was laying on the ground with Cristina, her hand on her stomach as they were laughing at something.

Derek's face looked shocked and surprised; Mark raised his eyebrows, waiting for Derek's answer too. He knew how Derek felt about Meredith but he knew that he couldn't answer for Derek either.

_They don't know  
They can't see  
Who we are_


	31. Chapter 31

"_Is it okay if I ask her out?"_ Derek held his breath _Oh crap,_ he ranted in his head _palms sweaty, breath shortened...I can't say no, I don't think she'll take kindly to me making possessive claims like I own her. I can't say yes either,_ he thought, his mind racing.  
Mark looked at Derek's face and then at Riley's, seeing the struggle on Derek's face, _Say no, you idiot,_ Mark thought.  
"What was that?" Mark asked casually, "I don't think Derek heard you" he said with a nod, encouraging Derek to say what he felt like saying. This to Mark meant no. _No_ he couldn't ask her out, Meredith was his--as possessive as that sounded it was true. _He_ met her,_ he_ hung out with her...she was _his_. She was cute he had to admit, the way she could kick all of their asses was part of it and second was her attitude, she was the total package, like one of the guys but in a hot package. Riley looked at Mark and then back at Derek, thinking nothing of the situation, "Derek, is it okay if I asked Meredith out? I don't want to ruin anything, but you said you were just friends," he added, reiterating his question. Derek nodded almost subconsciously _I said friends, crap_  
"Awesome man, thanks" Riley said as he slapped Derek's back, taking the ball from his hands, and walking down the field towards Meredith. Derek looked up, not realizing what he had just done. Riley walked away with a grin on his face.  
"What the hell was that?" Mark nearly whispered as the others, dispersed.  
"I don't know..I didn't say anything!"

Derek looked at Mark, bewildered to the point where he couldn't formulate a coherent sentence Mark chuckled a little bit, "Not only did he make the winning pass to Meredith, but he also wants to score with her," he said with a wink, laughing in his friends face.  
Derek held his straight face, not knowing what to say.

"Well, maybe that's not funny yet," Mark said as he cleared his throat, squelching his laughing.

"_Yet?!?" Derek asked, appalled. _  
"Maybe in a few weeks or something when they break up," Mark half joked.  
"What? You think she'd say yes? Why?"

Mark shrugged, "Why not? It's not like she's in a relationship with anyone, let alone you. And the way you talk about her, why haven't _**you**_ made a move?"  
"It's not that easy. There were complications," Derek said, thinking of the fact that he only almost kissed her, not even kissed her.

"Why not? Stop worrying about if you do it right, or if you make a fool of yourself- some girls even like that. Don't think about what you need or what she needs. What do _you_ want?"

"Her," Derek said, quietly.

"Well," Mark said as he too slapped Derek's back, "looks like you just sealed your fate," he said, pointing to Riley who was walking down the field towards Meredith.

_Don't sell your heart, Don't say we're not meant to be_

::

Seriously short update, I know but figured it was better then nothing.  
Work was exhaustingly busy tonight. I'm off to pass out.

More to come.

-Viv


	32. Chapter 32

Meredith was laughing, her golden locks shining in the sun, Cristina covering her mouth as she struggled for air. They were always having fun, it seemed and Derek more then ever wished that he could be as bold as she. He could barely tell Riley no, he couldn't even tell him no. _What the hell did I just do? What did I do? _Derek repeated over and over in his head.

"You did not lie, Mark is painfully gorgeous," Cristina said as their laughter died down.

Meredith smiled as she propped herself up on her elbow, "Yeah, am I sensing a crush?"

"No, he's pretty to look at but that's about it," she said dismissively.

Meredith nodded, "Oh well."

"I'll live," Cristina said dryly, "Speaking of gorgeous, blondie is walking this way," Cristina said as she looked behind Meredith's head, "Blondie?" She asked as she saw Riley. "Oh," she said as she turned back to Cristina. "Why?" she whispered.

Cristina rolled her eyes, "He's like fifty feet away Mer, he cannot hear us…he probably wants to talk to you."

Meredith raised her eyebrows, "No, you," she said.

Cristina laughed, "Yeah right, plus blondes are not my type."

Meredith bit her bottom lip, wondering what was about to happen/

"Good luck with that," Cristina said, half smiling at Meredith's awkward predicament.

"If you get up to leave, I _will_ trip you," Meredith warned.

Cristina half grunted, putting her palms on the grass as she got up.

Meredith panicked, _Don't make me do this,_ she thought.

Once Cristina was fully erect, shooting Meredith a smile, Meredith extended her leg, intercepting her first step and making her trip. Cristina fell flat on the grass, propelled forward, she looked at Meredith appalled. Meredith shrugged, "Sorry," she said as she got up, extending a hand to help her. She looked up to see Riley was coming closer, and to see that Mark was laughing, Derek looking confused. "Meredith, I swear…" Cristina mumbled, pushing her hand away. "I said sorry," Meredith offered, finding it very hard not to laugh at that moment. "Run," Cristina said, not kidding. Meredith looked at Cristina and to Riley and took off running in the direction of Derek. Cristina jumped up and came after her.

"Oh shit, Derek," Mark said, "Go protect your girlfriend," he joked.

Derek shook his head, _what the heck?_ He asked himself, they were laughing five minutes ago.

Meredith was running half speed, she was exhausted from the game, and Cristina was gaining. Cristina didn't really intend on kicking her ass, just getting her back for tripping her. She passed the bench that held all of the guys possessions and s he grabbed a water bottle and uncapped it. She caught up to Meredith and squirted water on her back. Meredith squealed and turned around to face Cristina, Cristina looked proud of herself, as she squeezed the rest of the bottle, getting Meredith's front wet as well. Meredith rolled her eyes and sighed, Cristina laughed. Derek and Mark were more than enjoying the view, Mark thought it was hilarious. Meredith's eyes darted around the field, Riley had stopped in his tracks and was watching them, Weiss, James and Ben were all talking until they heard her scream and their eyes were fixated on her as well, _time for revenge_, she thought as she quickly ran to the bench where Cristina had taken the bottle from, she grabbed two, Cristina took off running, knowing what was coming. Meredith gained on her, adrenaline pushing her to the edge. She opened a bottle and caught up to Cristina, squeezing some out onto her as she passed her, she threw the extra bottle behind to her, this was a game now. Cristina smiled, competition was always welcome. They chased each other around the field until their bottles were empty; most of the guys became casualties in their water war. When their bottles were empty and they were panting, they stopped running, Cristina bending over, trying to catch her breath as Meredith giggled.

"I can't believe you tripped me," Cristina said, breathless. Meredith smiled, "Well, I said I would," she said, as if that made up for it. She didn't have to ask if Cristina was okay, the fact that they were standing there, smiling meant that she was.

"I think all the guys here are turned on," Cristina said jokingly.  
"Dirty," Meredith said, as she and Cristina walked towards the guys, they all had gigantic grins on their faces. "Crap," Meredith said.

Cristina laughed this time, "What part of watching two girls chasing each other and getting wet would repulse them?" she asked in all seriousness.

Meredith cringed, "Great, now we look like those ditzy idiots who do it to get guys attention, I'm so…mortified," she half whispered to Cristina.

Cristina, "You want to leave? And what? Ditch blondie and McDreamy?" she joked.

Meredith looked over at her, Cristina saw the uncertainty in her eyes. Meredith suddenly felt self conscious in her now wet clothes.

Mark walked with Derek to the girls, "That looked like fun," he joked.

Cristina handed them back the empty bottles, "We have to go, dry clothes needed," she said.

Derek nodded, "I could drive you," Derek offered.

Meredith shook her head. Cristina elbowed Meredith, "Race you home," she said, wanting to wipe the submissive look off of her face. Meredith's eyes lit up. Meredith smiled, "Bye Derek…Mark," she said waving as they ran off, Cristina getting a head start. Riley and Derek both stared dumbfounded.

Mark smiled, "She sure can run," he said, snapping Derek out of his day dreaming. Derek nodded absentmindedly.

Riley looked at Mark, "She just bolted?"

Mark nodded, "It's getting cold out," he said, defending Meredith.

"Give her my number for me?" Riley asked Mark, "I gotta run," he said as he grabbed his jacket from the bench and walked to his car.

"Sure," Mark said.

Derek looked at Mark.

"What?" Mark asked, "I'm not going to, _yet_. Two minutes and you screwed up and handed your dream girl over to the quarterback of the football team," Mark said, shaking his head in disapproval.

"What do you mean _yet?"_

"Well, since I'm your generous, kind best friend," he said, stroking his own ego, "I will do some damage control for you."

"Thanks…Why would Riley even want to go out with Meredith, he doesn't know her!" Derek said in frustration. Thankfully Weiss, James and Ben were out of ear shot.

"See that's the type of stuff you shouldn't say around her, you should be glad you have me around. I'm telling you Derek, don't dig yourself deeper into this hole. Riley wants to go out with her because she is beautiful, not pretty like the other girls at our school, she's gorgeous and she doesn't even wear makeup and she kicked my ass today, impressive."

Derek sighed, "I know she is beautiful..she is the most beautiful girl I have ever met, inside _and _out."

Mark nodded his head, thinking of ways to get Derek to do the right thing. He was always confident and fearless and he couldn't understand why he didn't'have the balls to ask Meredith out, or kiss her even. And better yet, why he had almost let Riley beat him to it. "Girls like _that_ are not supposed to go out with guys like _you_," he said as Derek raised his eyebrows to his best friend, "they're supposed to go out with Riley . Guys who are quarterbacks of football teams and guys who are fearless and... guys who wear really tight shirts," he said as Derek looked at him.. "Kidding-please don't start wearing tight shirts the ladies need to look at me and not you...you already have the hair... and guys who would never hug her unless he wanted more. You're more like her best friend at this point then a boy friend."

Derek nodded, "So I'll ask her out."  
"What have I been saying this entire time?"

Derek nodded as he took a step forward, Mark held out his hand, "What? Now?" he asked Derek.

Derek nodded, "Well when? She lives down the street from me."

"Give her time to breathe," Mark said, then ask.

Derek nodded, "Right," _Pull yourself together Derek, _he told himself.

Mark nodded, "I have to go too, tell the guys I'll see them later."

"Alright," Derek said as he headed over to Weiss and the others.

Mark walked off in the direction of Derek's house, surely he could figure which house was Meredith's.

_The perfect halo  
Of gold hair and lightning  
Sets you off against  
The planet's last dance_

:::::


	33. Chapter 33

Mark jogged down towards where Derek lived; he knew the street very well. A large chunk of his childhood memories were spent there. Derek's family treated him as a surrogate son and brother, he felt like a Shepherd at heart when he was with them- they never made him feel like he didn't belong. He finally made it to Derek's street and scanned the houses, trying to picture which one was Meredith's, _not the one with the Greek statues, _he thought as he kept walking, not imagining her in a house with a lush garden of vegetables, or the one with all the cars in front of them. He felt like giving up, it would have been easier to just ask Derek but that wouldn't work, he knew that. Mark turned around to scan the other houses and felt like it was kismet. It had to be her house- an unassuming front lawn, simple grass, no gaudy hedges, or stone fountains, just plain green grass courtesy of Seattle Rains, and a wooden porch swing. Mark nodded to himself, confident that he had found Meredith Grey's house.

He skipped the concrete stairs, walking up them two at a time and knocking on the door instead of ringing, he noted the empty driveway and the mail piling up in the mailbox. It looked almost unlived in except for the warm light emanating from behind the front door's glass cut out. If she was home, she was slow, Mark thought as he turned around to once again scan the neighborhood, double checking if he had pegged her right, this house had to belong to her, he thought. The door creaked open behind him as he turned around, greeting by a dark haired Cristina rather then the Meredith he was expecting.

"Sorry, wrong house," Mark said as he scratched his head, "Meredith lives in…which one?"

Cristina opened the door wider to show that Meredith was behind her, running a towel through the length of her hair. "This one," Cristina said blankly, "what do you want?" Cristina asked.

Mark smiled, "You did good today, you got a lot of passion there," he said searching for the right words to sum up her infinite yelling.  
"Thanks, is that what you call losing?" Cristina asked as she folded her arms across her chest.

Mark smiled, "Sore loser?"  
Cristina sighed, "I don't lose, today was a fluke. I am _not_ a sore loser. You know, and… so what if I am? See, the whole point of games is that there's a winner. A first place. You want a second best surgeon operating on you? No, you want the very best. And second best is mediocre. And to settle for mediocrity is...is frankly, you know, a sign of self-loathing and substandard work ethics. _I have to get Meredith's love life out of my head _Cristina told herself  
"Isn't how you play the game ?" Mark asked, egging her on some more, he couldn't help it, it was fun.

"To some," Cristina said, giving him the once over look of disapproval.

"And not you?" Mark asked, noting that Meredith had left to go down the hall.

"No, so you can leave and stop flirting now," she said confidently bad boys, as irresistible as they were were still bad boys and she knew that well.

"I came here to talk to Meredith," Mark said as he glanced behind him, why did he feel like he was doing something wrong?

Cristina nodded, "So I see, otherwise you wouldn't be at _her _house," she pointed out.

Mark glanced around behind Cristina, seeing no signs of Meredith, _she could at least invite me in,_ he thought to himself. "We, I was just wondering if you wanted to see a movie some time. Is that a crime?" _Might as well ask her out,_ he told himself, _a little humility to start things off right,_ he joked to himself.

Cristina laughed, "I really am a bad date. I'm selfish, I'm needy, I'm a bad listener..."

"Well I..."

Cristina interrupted Mark, "Let me finish!" she said, letting out a deep breath. "No, thank you," she said as she turned around, nearly tripping on the doorway. Mark smiled, thinking he had some effect on her.

Meredith opened the door wider, "She's around her somewhere," Cristina said as she walked down the stairs to her own house, Mark's eyes followed her to the house next door. The house with a stamped concrete driveway and a perfectly placed bird bath, it seemed a bit pinched and uptight, anally perfect, he smiled to himself thinking how it was a clear reflection of who Cristina was.  
Mark knocked on the door, calling out Meredith's name in the hopes that she'd make an appearance.

Meredith walked out of the bathroom, brush in hand as she untangled her wet hair; she was dressed in plaid pajama bottoms and a white tank top.

Meredith smiled, "What are you doing here?" she asked him as he came in and closed the door behind him.

_I was an impossible case  
No-one ever could reach me  
But I think I can see in your face  
There's a lot you can teach me  
So I wanna know.._

_:::_

_Don't freak out completely, they're just friends, I love their friendship._

_Enjoy. _


	34. Chapter 34

"_What are you doing here?" _ Meredith asked as Mark closed the door behind him.

Mark let out a deep breath; "You bolted pretty fast today," Mark said as he followed Meredith down the hall, she led him towards the kitchen.

Meredith put the comb down on the dinner table as she stood facing Mark, "I'm an avoider by nature," she joked.

"Who isn't?" Mark asked.

"I don't know what got into me," she said, lying, she wasn't about to explain to Mark that she ran because of Riley because the look on his face said 'more than friends' and she already had someone in mind for that.

Mark shrugged, not believing her but not wanting to push her. "Fair enough," he said sitting down in a chair at the dining room table. Meredith wondered what he wanted, _here to grill me about Riley?_ She asked herself. She sat down as well, trying to play it cool, not letting her jitters show.

"Speaking of bolting, you do it pretty well yourself," she said, recalling their coffee moment and how abruptly it had ended days before.

"Well we have a lot in common."

Meredith nodded.

"Like…Derek," Mark offered casually.

Meredith raised her eyebrows, "Like Derek," she repeated calmly.

"He's my best friend," Mark said as he stared at Meredith.

Meredith nodded in agreement, she knew. "So I hear."

Mark leaned back in his chair. Meredith searched his face for answers, coming up short, he definitely was not going to say anything, she thought. "I'm not using him to socially climb or whatever you think I'm…"  
"I never accused you of that," Mark interrupted.

"I like him, I like spending time with him, end of story."

Mark nodded, "Good." _So defensive,_ he thought.

"Is this part where you tell 'don't go out with Riley'," she asked as she crossed her arms over her chest.

Mark shook his head, "No, freedom of choice and all that," he said dismissively.

"Good, glad to know I still have that."

"Jesus, Addison really rattled your cage," Mark said.

Meredith shook her head, trying to deny it, "It's not her…its people _like_ her. I struggle to understand the fact that high school in its entirety may be like that."

"Not everyone is an asshole," Mark offered.

"No, thank god…" She said, looking around the room, feeling more at ease now. "How'd…how'd you know I left because of Riley?" she asked, "Was it that obvious?"

"No," Mark admitted with a smile, "I'm all knowing," he said half joking.

"How God-like of you," Meredith joked back.

"I just wanted to make sure that you weren't scared off today. You didn't start off right with Addison and everything, just don't give up completely," he said, hoping she would stick around for Derek's sake. She was the first girl he wanted to commit to and Mark found it refreshing, Derek was like a brother to him and first and foremost he wanted him to be happy. He also felt an instinctive sort of feeling around Meredith, a desire to protect her, like a little sister.

Meredith smiled warmly; glad she had an ally in the midst of everything. She felt as if she could count on him although she only met him.

"Not completely," Meredith replied.

"Good."

"Are you going to stay or leave, like last time?" She asked as she got up and opened the fridge and got out two bottles of water.

"Stay," Mark said, not wanting to leave yet. Meredith tossed him a bottle, which he caught and opened, taking a sip.

"So, I told you about my family, or lack of one…tell me about yours."

Mark raised his eyebrows,_ crap,_ he thought, _I have to get out of here before the pity starts and the part where she wants to hug me,_ he thought, not wanting the ensuing sympathy that no doubt would come.

His cell phone's ringing stopped their conversation in it's tracks, Meredith told him to answer it as she met his hesitant look. Mark nodded and walked out of the room to answer it.

He came back a few minutes later. Meredith had spent the couple minutes tapping her fingers on the mahogany table, waiting for him. Mark sighed as he came back, "I have to go," Mark said apologetically.

Meredith nodded, "No worries," she said as she walked him to the door.

"I'm telling you Grey, chin up, don't let them eat you alive," he said with a smile.

Meredith smiled, "Will do," she said quietly as he headed down her stair case.

Meredith leaned against the door jamb, trying to figure him out. _Why do I feel like he has secrets too?_ She asked herself as she closed the door.

_Sing out, sing out, the silence only eats us from the inside up  
I meant no harm but I only get to say these words too late  
Wake up, wake up, dreaming only leads to more and more nightmares  
Snap out of it you said it in a way that showed you really cared._

::::  
Short but I live in SoCal and we have flash flood and mud slide warnings because of all the past wild fires. Kind of scary, I didn't have much time today, hope you understand.

-Viv


	35. Chapter 35

Derek went home after the football game and took a long shower. He needed to ask Meredith out, and soon, before anyone else did. Riley definitely had eyes for her and he wasn't sure who out of his friends didn't, except for Mark. Mark kept telling Derek that Meredith was great, but it never sounded like jealousy, more like acknowledgement.

Mark had told Derek to give Meredith time to catch her breath, to let her have her space, but the more he thought about asking her out, the more he wanted to do it. His failed almost kiss from the night before still hung over his head.

He sat through dinner with his family, listening to his sister's gossip and his mother and father tell them about their respective days. Derek listened, quickly eating his food and leaving the table as soon as possible, telling his parents that he had a headache. He didn't, he just wanted to take a walk, and see Meredith. It wasn't that long since they last saw each other but it didn't matter, he had to get it off his chest, to tell her how he really felt and get it out into the open.

Derek didn't exactly know what he was going to say to Meredith, he decided to be the kind of man that expresses his feelings on a whim. It would either go well or disastrously but he didn't want to consume his thoughts with the what if's and the would be's of his desires.

He took the short walk to Meredith house slowly, smiling at the fact that her lights were on, she was home. Which was a good start, she wasn't out with anyone which surprisingly brought him a sense of comfort. Derek climbed the concrete steps up to Meredith's door and lightly knocked on the door, taking his hand out of his jean's pocket to do so. He waited, letting out a deep breath as he saw her coming towards the door. _Now or never,_ Derek thought to himself. _There will be no more almost kisses, _he thought. He wouldn't leave things unsaid or undone tonight.

Meredith walked to the door, Mark's unexpected visit earlier reassured her that nothing was expected; she half expected to see Addison when she opened the door, and nothing would be weirder. She breathed a sigh of relief to see that it was no crimson haired beauty but a different kind of beauty all together.

"Derek," she said, silently wondering to herself why he was there. Had she forgotten something at the park.

Derek smiled warmly, "Meredith," he said in response.

"Do you want to come in?" She asked, opening the door wider.

Derek smiled, "I came here to tell you something," Derek said, _I hope this goes right_, he thought.

Meredith nodded, "Ask," she said encouraging him.

Derek let out a breath, looking her straight in the eyes, wanting to just come out straight with it but deciding that that wasn't good enough. 'Meredith go out with me?' seemed too common. He needed more than that. _Say something nice,_ he thought to himself quickly.

Derek smiled. Meredith smiled back as he sucked in a breath of air, _just say how you feel,_ he said to himself internally. "I want to go out with you, and not in a friendly way, although I love being friends with you. And not in a misplaced affection, possessively jealous way, although I'm sure the rumors will call it that. I want to go out with you because I love you. Plain and simple, and I know it's soon to say that, I don't want to freak you out but I think you deserve to know that. I love you; very, very simply and very truly. _You_," he said as he saw her smile beaming, the words flowing freely from his mouth, "are the most interesting person I have ever met. You are everything I want to be. And I know that you may think of me as just a friend and jumping into this thing with me may be the furthest thing from what you want, but I had to say it. I just…it's been driving me crazy. I cannot stand next to you without wanting to hold you, and I feel that corny romance novel feeling of longing when I look at your green eyes. I have never felt this way about anyone before and I have wanted to tell you this for a while now. This may ruin our friendship but…I had to say it. Regardless of the outcome, which by the look on your face…is uncertain," he said as he tried searching her face for answers. She looked like she was thinking, he let out a nervous chuckle before pulling himself back together. "I know that there is a chance that you may feel the same way I do, and all I want to tell you is don't write me off because of Addison or because of me, just consider it." Meredith nodded a smile on her face, her face still unreadable. _God, what the heck is she thinking?_ Derek thought to himself. "Meredith, there isn't anyone on earth that as ever made me half the person I am when I am with you and I would risk our friendship to take it to the next step." _Please tell me you feel the same way,_ Derek pleaded with Meredith in his thoughts. "If you want to blow me off because I'm not worth the drama or the headaches, and you pretend like we've never met when school starts, you have to know that I am forever changed because of meeting you and because of what you mean to me."

Meredith's eyes shined with tears, tears of joy, she never knew the meaning of the phrase. The only time she cried in joy was from laughing too hard with Cristina. But the wind seemed to be knocked out of her and her throat felt a bit dry, she felt as if she could cry at any moment. _That is without a doubt, the nicest thing anyone has said to me…ever,_ Meredith thought.

Derek stood there, the joy beginning to fade, realizing that her answer may not be yes.

_What made me behave that way?  
Using words I never say  
I can only think it must be love  
Oh, anyway, it's looking like a beautiful day_

Meredith nodded her head, "Yes," she said. Derek, listened, he could have sworn he heard a no.

Meredith looked at Derek, "I said yes!" she said as she wrapped her arms around his neck, resting her head on his shoulder, not able to remember a time when anyone made her feel more alive.

Derek smiled, and laughed a little, wrapping his arms around Meredith's waist, "Yes?" he asked as he smelled her lavender scented hair.

Meredith nodded, "Yes," she whispered as she breathed in his cologne, closing her eyes, not wanting to forget this moment, knowing she never would.

Derek lifted her off the ground before putting her back down and letting her go. Meredith was smiling as brightly as he was. He cupped her face with his hands, and kissed her softly, "Thank you," he said. _Huh?_ Meredith thought, forgetting how to form coherent sentences after that.

She nodded instead.

_Someone tell me how I feel  
It's silly wrong but vivid right  
Oh, kiss me like the final meal  
Yeah, kiss me like we die tonight_

"It's getting late," Derek said, not wanting to leave her but knowing he should.

"Yeah," Meredith said as she bit her bottom lip, "So, you'll call me?" she asked, looking at his eyes.

"I'll call you," he said as she turned around to go back inside.

"Goodnight, Derek."

"Goodnight," he said in response.

_Cause holy cow, I love your eyes  
And only now I see the light  
Yeah, lying with me half-awake  
Oh, anyway, it's looking like a beautiful day_

Derek smiled at her closed door, he did it- he finally did it, and he did it right, he thought to himself.

Meredith went straight to the kitchen and drank the bottle of water that was sitting on the dinner table, nearly chugging it. She gasped as she finished, smiling to herself. _It doesn't feel real_, she thought to herself.

Derek walked home slowly, enjoying the cool breeze. _It really happened,_ he thought to himself, ecstatically.

_So throw those curtains wide!  
One day like this a year'd see me right!_

_::::_

Read and review.

Enjoy.

-Viv


	36. Chapter 36

Derek and Mark decided to go and play basketball at the park the next day, inviting some of t he guys from the football game as well. They got to the park a little early in order to spend some time playing one on one. Mark had not told Derek about his run in with Meredith, there was nothing to tell and he'd like to think that in the grand scheme of the things he had helped Derek out- there was no need to gloat and tell him that. Mark was a true friend in that sense. They were shooting some warm ups as they tried to one up each other before the others arrived.

Derek hit the rim of the hoop and missed as it bounced off, he tossed the ball to Mark who easily made it into the basket, the height difference between him and Derek was working in his favor.

Derek bounced the ball after Mark had passed it back to him, "I asked Meredith out." Derek said matter of factly.

Mark smiled, he was proud of Derek, "Finally taking my advice?"

Derek shook his head, "Trying to," Derek said, adding to Mark's sarcasm.

"So," Mark said as he stole the ball from Derek and dunked it, "Where the heck are you taking her?"

Derek half shrugged, as Mark dribbled the ball in front of him. "Not sure yet, we're going next week sometime. I have a little time to think."

"Good, don't screw it up," Mark said jokingly.

"So who'd you invite?" Derek asked Mark, changing the subject.  
"Riley and Weiss," Mark said as he threw Derek the ball, Derek made a free throw and scored.

Derek nodded, _crap_, he thought. _Does Riley still think he can ask Meredith out?_ Derek asked himself as he saw Weiss and Riley approaching the courts.

"You're late," Mark joked to Weiss.

Weiss smiled, "It's summer, you're supposed to wake up at noon. You're lucky I answered the phone," he joked.

Riley gave Derek the ubiquitous male nod, that said, _hey_, without actually uttering the words, Derek returned the favor.

Mark tossed the ball to Weiss, "You ladies against us?" he asked, poking fun at them.

Weiss dribbled the ball, "Don't cry when we hand you your asses," Weiss said as he threw a three pointer, easily making it.

Derek looked at Mark, Mark raised his eyebrows.

The game started slow, it wasn't meant to be taken seriously, they agreed that it would be casual. The first team to thirty points would win. Derek tried shooting for baskets but Riley would be on him quickly, body checking him periodically. Derek never called a foul; he fumed on the inside quietly.

Mark and Weiss were off in their own world as well as the aggressively covered each other on the court; the score was tied, each team matching the other's baskets.

Riley threw Derek the ball, 'checking' it as Derek was prepared to throw it back to him.

Riley out maneuvered Derek as he made a basket, Mark busy covering Weiss, Riley grabbed the ball as he headed outside of the lines. "Man your lacking today. You sure nothing's bothering you?"

Riley bounced the ball to Derek. "Meredith," was all he got out, he was out of breath from chasing Riley around. He was descent in basketball but not today

Mark stood next to Weiss, ready for them to check the ball to each other.

"What about her?" Riley asked.

Derek stood up straight, "I know I said it's okay if you date her but it's not," Derek said as he put the ball against his hip, waiting for Riley's response.

Riley laughed, "Shut up," he said, thinking Derek was kidding.

"I'm serious," Derek said as Weiss and Mark stopped trying to block each other and started to listen to the conversation.

"Check," Riley said to Derek, asking him to toss the ball back to him.

Derek launched at his chest, nearly knocking the air out of him. Riley stepped back, his jaw tightening; this was the part where he was supposed to bring the ball in bounds and try to score but he couldn't bring himself to do so. Riley threw the basketball back with the same force, "No," he said simply in response.

Mark straightened up next to Weiss, ready to intervene.

"What?" Derek asked, 'no' was not the response he was looking for.

Riley shrugged, "You said you were friends, back off," Riley said as he walked closer to Derek. Derek's hands were red from the force of the ball before.

"She and I _are going _out, you back off."

Riley shook his head, "You're an ass, Derek," Riley said as he knocked the ball out of his hands and scored.

Mark and Weiss stood in the same place as they were before, looking at each other and then back and Derek and Riley, ready to see the ensuing fight.

"What the fuck kind of game are they playing?" Weiss whispered to Mark.

Mark shrugged, "I don't know," he mouthed back.

Derek tightened his jaw as he threw the ball to the side and shoved Riley.

Riley shoved him back. "What the hell is your problem?" Riley asked, yelling.

Mark jumped in the middle of it, pushing Riley and Derek away from each other, Weiss joining him as he pushed Riley to the side. Mark stared straight at Derek, "Was that necessary?" he asked in all seriousness.

Derek shrugged.

"What the hell Derek?" Mark asked,

"I don't know," Derek answered,  
Riley looked over at Mark, "He lunged at me, over Meredith," he said, Weiss standing in his path for Derek's safety.

"Who the hell is Meredith?" Weiss asked.

"Football game," Derek said trying to make Weiss remember. Weiss wasn't a good student, he was a good athlete and good at getting concussions, Derek thought.  
"Oh, she's a beauty," Weiss said to Derek.

"Not you too, everyone SHUT UP!!" Mark yelled.

Derek let out a deep breath and Riley shook his head, neither of them happy with each other.

_Boys will be boys  
Hiding in estrogen and boys will be boys  
Boys will be boys  
Hiding in estrogen and wearing Aubergine dreams_

::::

Work sucked tonight. Nothing went right. I broke a wine glass in the middle of the dining room, cracked a wine bottle's top as I was opening it. Someone dropped a plate of food and after it was mopped it, I fell on the slippery tile with a waiting room full of people to watch me and gasp. It was bad. Blah…just one of those days. _  
_


	37. Chapter 37

"So where is he taking you?" Cristina asked Meredith as they were sitting on her bed. Meredith laid back onto her pillows, pulling her hair out of her eyes as it fell awkwardly, "I don't know," she responded.

"He didn't tell you? What are you a little kid?" Cristina asked, deciding for herself that this wouldn't fly with her in dating land. She was much more demanding than Meredith it seemed.

"No," Meredith replied as she stared at the ceiling.

"Well, when is he picking you up?" Cristina asked. Their date was today, Meredith had been looking forward to it since it was talked about with Derek. She didn't mention it annoyingly like other teenaged girls might have and Cristina was grateful for that but the extra spring in her step and the sparkle in her as the day approached, increased infinitely. He had definitely wormed his way into Meredith's life somehow, and Cristina was sure that if he broke her heart, there would be hell to pay. Cristina had decided that it was fate, or something like it that had intervened that summer. Had things gone the way they would have naturally, things would not have unfolded quite like this, Cristina thought. Derek Shepherd and his jock friends were fun to be around but completely unexpected in her mind. Meredith seemed to welcome the unfamiliarity of these people with open arms, she was accepting like that and more over, comfortable with them. They got along easily and to those that weren't attracted to her, she was like a little sister to them. Especially to Mark, who seemed to take Meredith under his wing and explain to her the in's and out's of the high school that she was about to start. He explained to her to trust people out of necessity, not out of kindness- it was like entering a foreign world, Meredith had decided.

"Seven, " Meredith said simply as she sat up on the bed, facing Cristina, a helpless look in her eyes.

Cristina looked at the clock, it was three o'clock in the afternoon. "What are you wearing?" she asked, after deciding that four hours was more than enough hours to completely get ready.

"I don't know. I've never been on a date."

"Well since he's made it so unkindly unclear as to where he is whisking you away to," Cristina half joked, "I think it's open to anything. No little black dress though, please. Save that cliché for when you're 21 and want to look slutty."

Meredith rolled her eyes as she got up from the bed and opened the door to her closet.

"So help me," Meredith offered.

Cristina raised her eyebrows, "This is so out of my element," she said as she got up, throwing the pillow she had had on her lap back onto the bed as she and Meredith glanced through her closet.

Cristina tried remembering the ease with which her mother would choose clothing items, and how easily she would pull outfits together no matter the motif of the party or the dress code of the club where her step father would take her mother.

"Well, you have to be comfortable, god knows what McDreamy has planned."

Meredith nodded, not sure what that meant. Did that mean a skirt instead of a dress or a dress instead of a skirt? She asked herself.

"So…" Cristina continued on, "jeans, nice ones, to start."

Meredith searched through her closet for her nicest jeans, dark denim with a straight leg fit and no embellishments or distresses in sight.

She looked to Cristina for more guidance, she really felt like a rookie in this arena.

:::

After helping Meredith out with an outfit, Cristina had decided to leave Meredith alone to take a shower and get ready. It didn't take long to find something acceptable in Meredith's closet. She had some nice things, a product of occasionally visiting the mall with Cristina, particularly if she was mad at Ellis. Retail therapy wasn't so much therapy as it was revenge on Ellis' credit card.

Meredith stepped out of the bathroom, a towel wrapped around herself as she let her hair air dry, she had a couple of hours to kill and she decided to flip on the TV as she thoroughly got ready. Out of boredom she decided to paint her nails, _red is too slutty, _she thought to herself as she grabbed the standard black nail polish that Ellis seemed to detest. Meredith however, loved it even more because of this. She waited for her nails to dry as she flipped through meaningless shows on the television that she had muted, she was listening to her stereo instead.

:::

The doorbell rang, announcing Derek's arrival. _Why does he always have to be right on time? _Meredith asked herself as she glanced at the clock, it read 6:59. Meredith gave herself a once over in front of the mirror. She had put on the dark jeans, a v neck dark grey shirt and a suit jacket that she had to get for a debate last year. With the sleeves rolled up to her elbows, and the buttons open it looked chic. She had to thank Cristina for this later, just because she didn't read Vogue, didn't mean she couldn't mimic the fashionable side of life, Meredith thought about Cristina. Her hair had dried in soft waves, on her way to the door she slipped on black flats she had left there the other day. The beauty of not having her mom home all the time was the luxury of cleaning up only when she wanted to, not when she was demanded to. Meredith let out a breath as she opened the door. Derek smiled immediately as she appeared. She looked perfect. _Finally_, Derek thought, glad that it had only taken him this long to ask her out.

"You look beautiful," Derek said as he smiled.

Meredith smiled, "Thank you," she said as he handed her a bouquet of flowers.

"These are for you," he said as he handed her a bouquet of lavender and purple asters, tied together by a large purple ribbon.

Meredith held them to her nose, closing her eyes for a second. She loved the smell of lavender. "Thank you Derek, you shouldn't have," she said, hoping that that was what was appropriate in response, she felt nervous in a way, the butterflies in her stomach fluttering as she set them in water, grabbing a vase off of the top of the fridge and hurriedly putting water in it. She left the flowers on the island, and joined Derek back on the front porch. He smiled as she locked the door, putting the single key into her pocket as she walked down the stairs with him. Ecstatic she had decided against heels, no doubt she would fall on t he few concrete stairs her house had.

Derek put his hand on the small of Meredith's back, counting himself lucky to be in her company. He opened the door for her as she stepped into Derek's car, he closed it gently as he walked over to his side. _Don't make a fool of yourself, _Derek thought to himself.

_Meredith, don't be a spaz, _she said to herself as she smiled at Derek who was walking around to his side.

_Bodies disengaged, our mouths are fleshing over._

_It's just an echo game, irises retreating_

_to ovals of white._

_The urge to feel your face_

_And blood rushing to paint my handprint_

_A Frisbee one by one_

_Your vinyl on lamanent_

_Desperate for some kind of contact._

:::

Sorry for lack of updates. I picked up more hours this week at work, before school starts.

More to come, enjoy.

-Viv


	38. Chapter 38

Derek drove Meredith through the streets of Seattle, the sun still shining slightly in the summer light. It illuminated Meredith's face and gave her a glow which Derek appreciated from the driver's seat. Yet again, he would not tell her where they were going. He wanted to see the genuine surprise on her face but this time she didn't inquire where they were going. She sat back and drank the moment in, trying to remember how she had ended up here. It seemed unreal to her that someone so close to her all her life, Derek of course only lived down the street, could become so significant in such a short amount of time.

"We are almost there," Derek said as he stopped the car at the red light.

"There?" Meredith asked the mysterious place that he had not mentioned by name thus far. She stopped questioning his judgment and went on blind faith. She trusted him enough to ensure herself that whatever he had planned would no doubt be fun. Because being around Derek was just that, it was enjoyable and effortless at the same time.

"Well, I had a few ideas in my head about what to do tonight…" Derek said as he inched the car forward at the green light's signal.

"And?" Meredith asked, _what did he decide?_ She asked herself. _The clichéd dinner and a movie approach? _She wondered. _Please say no_, she chided Derek in her head,_ you can do better than that. _

Derek shrugged a bit, not wanting to be an embarrassment to Meredith; he planned the date to be anything but ordinary. "I decided we should do them all," he said simply as they pulled into a metered parking lot. It was crowded with cars, the nightlife of Seattle was alive and well, Derek thought.

"A parking lot?" Meredith asked feigning disapproval. "What do you think I'm going to do? Make out with you in a car on the first date?" She asked jokingly.

Derek's eyes were wide, "What…no…NO," Derek said as he looked around at the empty lot.

"I was kidding," Meredith whispered as she laughed a little, enjoying the look of fear in Derek's eyes. It might have been a cruel joke but it was funny as heck she thought. Derek chuckled twice, trying to laugh off his spastic moment.

"Right," Derek said, half nodding as he got out to open Meredith's door for her. Meredith stepped out of the car, taking Derek's hand after he locked the car, they headed down the street.

"So what's first?" She asked Derek, his face bright in the late hazy light.

"First," he said as they crossed the street, "we go on that," he said pointing at the Seattle monorail system above them. Meredith had always seen it as a child when she would come to the city to see her mother at work, but like so many things in her life, she had missed out on this too.

Her smiled was bright at the simplest of things and it gave Derek hope that the rest of the night would go well, she gave his hand a reassuring squeeze as they approached the ticket booth.

::

"Okay, so first stop?" She asked as the monorail approached a futuristic looking building with sheets of metal on the outside, they were formed in curves, looking like waves. It had no windows, it looked like a museum from the outside.

"Yes," Derek asked, interrupting her inquisitive banter as she had tried to figure out where they were headed. Her answers started off simple as she read out all of the twenty something stops on the monorail's posters inside and then she rattled off impossible scenarios that elicited laughter from Derek. "No Meredith, I'm not taking you to a cult in an underground club in the city," he had to tell her, twice. Meredith smiled as she prattled on even more impossible scenarios until the doors opened and the stepped out. **Experience Music Project,** Meredith read on the front of the building. She wondered to herself what it was as Derek grabbed her hand and took her inside. "Come on," he told her with a wink.

It was definitely not the typical date, though she had seen plenty of movies where the good looking boy took the girl to a stiff and boring museum where he prattled on about how much he knew about art. _This,_ she thought,_ was infinitely better. _They went through the interactive exhibits of the museum, listening to and trying to recreate iconic music from different decades. The museum currently boasted nearly every guitar Jimmy Hendrix had played during his short life, seeing them lined up on the wall was surreal to Meredith. It was very much like seeing a famous painter's brushes, things that created the beauty that inspired others. Meredith had always like music, all kinds because it had the power to define a moment and change a mood.

"The Beatles," Meredith said as they approached the wing where the British band was in full display.

Derek watched Meredith's expression as they looked at the signed vinyl LP's from the band, touching the edges of the glass cases as they walked by.

"They beat the Clash any day," she said with a proud smirk as they headed to the far end of the room where a wall of LCD screens were flashing different colors. In the center was a touch screen with various Beatle's tracks.

Meredith furrowed her eyebrow and scrolled through them, picking one at random as Derek lingered behind her, he was no expert on the Beatles, so he let her take the reigns. The music began as the wild colors on the LCD screen lit up the white room. Meredith walked back over to Derek as she stared at the lights with him; Derek looked over at her as the neon colors flashed on her face, thinking he would never forget this moment.

_Is there anybody going to listen to my story  
All about the girl who came to stay?  
She's the kind of girl you want so much  
It makes you sorry  
Still you don't regret a single day.  
Ah girl  
Girl_

Others started to crowd into the room as if they just figured out it's purpose, Meredith decided to herself that it as the music that attracted them, they were after all in a music museum. Meredith grabbed Derek's hand as she snaked her way through the crowd, letting out a deep breath as she wasn't crowded by people any more. Derek followed, willingly. Meredith's hand leading the way, the absence of its warmth was a surprise as they stopped in the lobby.

"What's the next stop?" She asked Derek as she brushed hair out of her eyes.

"Food?" he asked her, as if seeking her approval.

"Food," she repeated in agreement. "I love food," she said with a smile as they headed out into the streets. The sky was no longer lit by the sun; the stars were shining in the dark sky as they made their way towards a restaurant.

They settled into a booth at a throwback diner; it evoked the decorations and lifestyle of the fifties- cherry red booths, pictures of classic cars and classic rock playing from the miniature juke boxes situated on each table. Meredith smiled, the waitresses were on roller skates and the menu was satisfyingly minimalist.

"Where did you find this place?" Meredith asked Derek as she flipped her menu over.

"I used to come here as a kid," he said as he looked around, it was quirky and different. He didn't want to pick a stuffy restaurant with starched white linens and minuscule portions- that wasn't befitting of Meredith.

"It's cute," she said as the waitress come by. Meredith took no shame in ordering a strawberry malt, bacon cheeseburger and fries. Derek ordered the same, substituting a vanilla shake for her malt. He wondered to himself how many girls would have coronaries if they were told they couldn't have something fat free and carb free. Meredith embraced it and she looked better then the girls who counted their calories before sitting down to eat. As they waited for their food they exchanged anecdotes about their childhood. Derek was in the middle of telling Meredith a story about how his sisters used to con him into wearing makeup by setting up makeovers.

"I was helpless," he said as Meredith laughed.

"That's sad Derek," she said as she covered her mouth, imagining him with blue eye shadow and pink nail polish. Derek laughed with her. He was comfortable sharing secrets only few people knew about him with Meredith. As she laughed all he could think of was how he wanted to tell her everything and how he wanted to know everything about Meredith as well.

Meredith wondered in the silences between jokes and laughter about the still hidden parts of herself and whether they contained within them the loner, outcast or weirdo. How would Derek behave if he knew just how dark and twisty she was? How would everyone else? High school was never something she feared, it was something to be endured and now it was on the forefront of her mind.

_I wanna hold you close  
Under the rain  
I wanna kiss your smile  
And feel the pain  
I know what's beautiful  
Looking at you  
In a world of lies  
You are the truth_

:::::

Part two coming soon.

Enjoy,

Viv


	39. Chapter 39

"You've been very secretive about this whole evening," Meredith said as they headed out of the diner. Derek followed behind as Meredith headed down the street. Derek whistled, halting her in her tracks, "This way," he said with a wink as he extended his hand for her, Meredith caught up and grabbed it.

"So have you," Derek said as he slowed his stride. Meredith looked up at him, wondering what he was talking about.

"What do you mean? Do I have a hidden agenda too?" she half joked.

"It's just that you weren't exactly silent but you were awfully quiet when it came to talking about your personal life…which is fine, we have more dates for that," he said with a smile as they walked through the busy street.

Meredith cringed on the inside, _have to unearth the skeletons in your closet soon, _she thought to herself. _More dates though, he wants more dates, _she thought with a smile. "Well, I'm being mysterious," she said with a smile, "I have to keep _the _Derek Shepherd interested in me," she said sarcastically.

Derek smiled as he pulled her across the street, the lights from their next destination shone brightly. The Seattle Space Needle shone brightly in the night sky, and a small amusement park was situated next to it. Meredith smiled, "An amusement park?"

"Yes," Derek said as they entered the strobe of bright lights and laughing children. Meredith smiled as her eyes lit up, it was Seattle the way she never saw it.

"Ladies choice," Derek said, unsure of what they should do first. Meredith looked around, spinning in a circle as she detached from Derek. "Bumper cars?" she asked her eyes wide. Derek nodded as she led the way, "Sure" he said, wondering if she would royally kick his ass as she had with the go karts.

The line was short and there was virtually no wait. Meredith hopped into a white bumper car as Derek picked the red one adjacent to her. They buckled up, "Look out Shepherd," Meredith joked. There were a few adults in the cars, dragged onto the attraction by children, and a few teenagers as well.

Derek let out a deep breath, _don't completely humiliate me_, he thought thinking Meredith was good at this too. As the cars were started, Meredith immediately took to chasing Derek as she was bumped by a bratty kid behind her, in turn slamming into Derek. Meredith laughed it off, squealing as Derek turned his car around and began his chase. She avoided and swerved to the best of her abilities as they chased each other throughout the room. Meredith thought she had gotten away as two mischievous kids thought it would be funny to pin Derek's car into the corner and bump him on each side, Meredith giggled at his situation when finally one of the kid's parents told them to back off. Meredith decided it was her time to chase. She pressed the gas as she cut through the center of the room, taking aim for Derek who was oblivious to the situation, his back to her. Finally, he turned his car only to see Meredith coming full speed and nowhere to go. She slammed into him head on, causing his head to hit the head rest of the tiny car as his car skidded back a few feet. Meredith gasped, _Crap!,_ she thought, fighting a smile. "Are you okay?" she asked. Derek ran a hand through his wavy locks, showing her his palm, "No blood," he said half joking. _Jesus Christ,_ Derek thought felt a slight throbbing on the back of his head.

Meredith was bumped from behind, sending her into Derek's car again, she couldn't control the car as she again bumped him, lighter this time. "Sorry," she whispered as she turned her car and chased the little boy who had hit her, he giggled with glee as she inched closer to him. Derek got back into the game as it the cars turned off thirty seconds later. Meredith waited for Derek at the bottom of the ramp as she sat on the railing. Derek was the last to come out. He looked fine, she thought, _nor worse for the wear,_ she thought.

"Are you sure you're okay?" She asked.

"I'm sure," he said as he stood facing her.

"Promise?" she asked, _I did not mean to hurt him_, she thought. _I'm a pro at emasculating him,_ she thought bitterly.

"Promise," Derek said with a half smile.

Meredith hopped off the railing and stood on the tips of her toes as she kissed his forehead. Derek smiled, "Much better now," he joked.

"We need to find you a kiddy ride," Meredith said as they walked down the pathway.

:::

Meredith decided for the both of them that games were harmless. She did feel bad for causing him pain, but decided that if he were truly hurt he would mention it.

"I still feel bad," Meredith said as they boarded the large Ferris wheel. She put down the giant stuffed animal that Derek had one for her through a shooting game and scooted over so Derek would fit. She beat him when it came to popping balloons with darts but he won everything else, she let him beat her a few times though she would never admit it. She thought his ego needed a little confidence. Derek closed the door of the mini-cabin they were in and sat down next to her.

"Don't," he said simply, brushing off her concern, not wanting her to feel bad all night.

"Did I tell you I was having fun yet? I mean before the whole almost giving you a concussion moment…this _is_ fun," she said as she leaned back and enjoyed the view of Seattle. The ride started as she scooted closer to Derek, his arm around her. Meredith let out a deep breath as Derek breathed in her shampoo's smell.

"I don't like to talk about my personal life," Meredith began quietly, Derek tried looking at her as she spoke but her eyes were focused on the scenery and her face was turned away from him, "because I don't have many…or any fun childhood stories. I'm an only child and my mother is in love with her career and my dad walked out on me. So…there's not much to tell. So I'd rather not talk about it…and relive it. It was enough to take the first go around," she said as she looked into his eyes.

Derek nodded, "Okay," he said, "No talking about it," he conceded as the Ferris wheel began it's descend; the night sky illuminate with lights and the Ferry boats lit up as well. It was gorgeous.

_I'm not so naive  
My sorry eyes can see  
The way you fight shy  
Of almost everything_

_::::_

Don't mean to drag it out but I am exhausted.

Enjoy,

Viv


	40. Chapter 40

The Ferris wheel continued to spin calmly in the night sky, its creaks like the purrs of a cat to Meredith. She was glad Derek hadn't pressured her to completely open up to him. Admittedly, she was scared to share and the only person she had trusted that closely was Cristina. Cristina was her own personal vault; secrets shared with her would never see the light of day. Trust didn't come easily to Meredith, the two people who were supposed to protect her most didn't, and she had battle scars from a life of hurt.

Meredith relaxed into Derek as she finally looked at him again, "So," she said, ready for a topic change, "are you always on time, to everything?" she asked with a smile on her face. She hadn't met anyone who was that put together.

Derek laughed a little, it was a random thought from her head but he didn't question it, it was an out from their earlier exchange, "Yeah, I try to be. Don't you?"

Meredith shook her head, "Definitely not, I'm usually late to everything even though I try not to be."

"Procrastinator?" he asked, curiously.

"Yes," Meredith admitted freely. She put off assignments in school until the last minute and never stressed about it. In her head she'd figure out that the four page English paper would only take two actual hours to write, so she'd write it the morning it was due.

"Do you like dogs, or just looking at them?" Derek asked, as long as they were on the route of random questions, he'd get his share of answers too, he decided happily. Getting to know Meredith was interesting, she never said what he expected.

"Yeah, I love dogs, please tell me you are not a cat person," she joked.

"No," Derek said, he never had pets growing up. His parents were no doubt occupied by their children.

"Vices?" Meredith asked, wanting to know what made Derek tick.

_You_, Derek thought,_ I can't get enough of you._ "I guess swimming, I mean not when I'm practicing or anything but sometimes I do it to escape, it's like an indulgence. Don't you ever have those days where you cannot stand being at home," Derek asked, his words slowing at the end. She must not know how that feels, Derek thought. The moments when his sisters where PMSing and his mother was nagging him for something where the times he used to escape and swim laps in order to stop himself from become more aggravated by them.

"No, I don't," Meredith said honestly.

Derek felt like kicking himself, he never intended for her to feel guilty or left out. "Sorry," Derek said softly.

"Seriously Derek stop with the apologies, I thought we've gone over this," she said with a smile, recalling an earlier conversation they had had about Derek's incessant apologies. "You have nothing to be sorry for," she said.

"Fine, I'm not sorry," Derek said, giving in.

"Good," Meredith said with a nod, _if you apologize, it means you have something apologize for_ she thought. She could handle the absent mother thing but not when people apologized for it.

The ride ended as their questioning picked up, Derek found out that Meredith sleeps on top of the covers and never underneath them, that she cannot fall asleep in public and that she liked to, on occasion, take showers in the dark because it felt good. Meredith found out which of Derek's sisters was his favorite and why, and how he and Mark had met and the fact that besides working on cars, he couldn't think of what he wanted to do with his life.

"How did you meet Cristina?" Derek asked as he helped Meredith out of her seat, taking hold of her hand as they exited the ride.

"It was in the first grade actually, the teacher asked someone to read out loud and she no one knew how to very well, Cristina was flailing her hand everywhere because apparently _she _was the best reader in the class but the teacher picked me randomly and I read nicely, and Cristina gave me hateful looks for the rest of the month," Meredith said with a smile, remembering it fondly, although she was intimidated by Cristina when they were younger, that had definitely faded.

"Competitive friendship from the beginning?" Derek asked

"Yeah, still is" Meredith said, they always competed when it came to academics.

"Thank you, for tonight," Derek said, echoing Meredith's sentiment's from earlier in the evening, "even with the near concussion moment, I'm having a great time," Derek said as they walked closer to the lights of the space needle.

Meredith smiled, "You're welcome," she said as she looked into his eyes, counting herself lucky.

_Everybody wants to be loved  
every once in a while  
we all need someone to hold on to  
just like a helpless child_

_:::_

All I could manage today.

Work was super busy, my feet are dead.


	41. Chapter 41

"Thank you, again. This was by far the best date," Meredith said with a beaming smile as Derek walked her to the door. _The only date I've ever been on, _she admitted to herself. Dating was never something that was on the forefront of her mind before. No guys she had met prior had caught her interest the way that Derek had.

"I had a great time too, I always have a great time when I'm with you," he admitted.

Meredith smiled, "Yeah," she said quietly, thinking the same thing about him.

"I'm glad you said yes," Derek said as he leaned in and kissed her cheek.

Meredith closed her eyes for a second, butterflies in her stomach as she collected herself and looked him in the eyes.

"Me too," she said as she headed inside of her house, she felt like someone had set free a swarm of butterflies in her stomach. _Tingly feelings?_ She asked herself. _Now I know what people mean by that,_ she said as she skipped up the stairs and turned on some music that made her feel good as she took a shower.

Derek drove the short distance to his house slowly, this _was_ by far the best date he had ever had and the best he felt when he was with a girl. Strangely enough he couldn't envision a time when he had felt this way before. His high school was filled with beautiful girls who were pretty and nice but Meredith was different, she was the full fledged real deal to him, as corny as that sounded.

Meredith slept easily that night, her mind at ease and her sleep peaceful. _Derek Shepherd,_ she thought, _how is it that I only now discovered you?_

:::

Derek woke up early the next morning to go jogging with Mark, a boring way Mark called it, that's why they ran together. The miles went by faster if they were in good company. Mark set the pace as Derek had to amp his up to keep pace with Mark.

"I'm thinking about getting a job," Mark said as they ran laps on a trail by Mark's house.

Derek nodded, "A summer job?" he asked, Mark's house was palatial, his parents were well off. It wasn't as if he needed the money, Derek thought.

Mark nodded as he looked over at Derek, "Pick up some more money, life skills and all of that," Mark thought dismissively, acting as if it wasn't a big deal.

"Sounds good," Derek said his breaths shorter as he struggled to run at full speed and keep a conversation.

"So, come job hunting with me," Mark said as he slowed a bit, compensating for Derek.

"Job hunting?" he asked.

"Yeah, something to strip you of your confidence," Mark joked, "all for minimum wage," he added with a smile.

"Yeah, I'll go with you," Derek said as they jogged onward, _a job?_ He asked himself. The independence would prove nice, especially when it came to his dad.

"Don't say no just cause you're dating a girl," Mark joked, "Chicks like working men" he joked.

Derek laughed, "I said I'll go, I'll go," he repeated, thinking about it. Working would mean significantly less time with Meredith but he wasn't going to ditch his friend, after all, they were just job hunting.

"Okay," Mark said as he quickened his pace, prompting Derek to pick up the pace as well. Sometimes Derek thought, Mark did it just to mess with him.

::::

Ellis Grey had arrived in the middle of the night after Meredith's date. She was groggy and tired from being at work all day and dealing with dying patients. She snuck into bed and showered before descending the stair case at five a.m., as tired as she had been, she could not wait to get back to work- saving lives was a rush. One she could not see herself giving up anytime soon. She headed into the kitchen to start a pot of coffee as she sniffed the air, something was off, she thought. Some unusual scent permeated the premises of her pristine kitchen. Ellis smelled the fresh fruit in the basket, thinking it was the source of the smell but her eye was caught on the vase of flowers in front of her, lavender. She suspected as much. Meredith was obsessed with the smell, she could care less for frilly flowers. The scent, as it turns out, had no calming effects on Ellis Grey, the scent was not one that she cared for.

The mix of floral and coffee did nothing for sensitive nose, she took the flowers out of the vase, dripping water on the tile and opened the front door as she tossed them out onto the concrete stairs. Anywhere was better then in her kitchen she thought, giving no thought to where they might have come from- sure that Meredith had bought them to bring 'warmth' or whatever she called it into the house.

:::

Meredith woke up with a smile as she rubbed her eyes, heading to the bathroom to get ready for the day. She too descended the stairs as Ellis had hours before and as she headed to the kitchen she couldn't help but notice the empty vase. She lifted the top of the trash can and found it empty. She sighed, _Mom, you officially suck,_ she thought, _you hijacked my flowers? _she asked herself as she poured herself a glass of orange juice.

_See, photographs have only two dimensions  
But love defies all logic in a picture  
Above all that is physical, I'm falling  
Falling uncontrollably - it terrifies me_

_:::_

_Short but more to come, tomorrow is my birthday so in honor of that, I get to work…haha. _

_Enjoy,_

_Viv_


	42. Chapter 42

Meredith got dressed and put in a few loads of laundry as she picked a book from the den and flipped through it as she waited for loads to dry. She was rereadinga favorite book of hers, _A Separate Peace,_ as she heard the door open. She glanced at the clock on the wall and felt utterly confused as to why her mother was home at noon when she barely made appearances before midnight. Ellis usually made it home at 3 a.m. killer surgery being the answer to her absence, as it was the excuse nine out of ten times.  
Meredith got up out of the comfortable chair she had plopped down in and made her way into the hallway.  
"Mom?" she asked out loud, as if questioning her sanity and reality in one shot, as she followed the footsteps and made her way to the kitchen. Ellis turned around, she was unpacking a massive load of groceries.  
"Morning, or afternoon should I say? It is noon after all."  
_I'm living in a hell dimension _Meredith thought to herself.  
"Morning" Meredith replied slowly, "You're home early," she said with an eyebrow raise.

"Yes well, apparently there is a cap on how many hours you can be at the hospital within a forty eight hour period," Ellis said as she rolled her eyes, cursing the hospital in her mind. Meredith nodded, _knew you didn't want to be here, _she thought to herself as she crossed her arms, it was out of character for her to go grocery shopping for Meredith.

"I noticed we were low on…everything" she said as she put milk in the fridge, "I decided to fill the fridge and the cabinets. You need to eat, always so thin" she said with a light snicker. That was Ellis, a nice comment followed by something underhandedly mean, like being stung by a jelly fish you didn't see coming.  
"Ok" Meredith croaked as she forced a smile. Her façade of sincerity washed away by the sound of the doorbell.  
Meredith looked around the room, "I got it," she said, making a quick escape.  
_Please be a sales man or someone I can drill for details in order to keep them here longer_ she muttered as she opened the door, greeted by blue eyes and that hair that made most girls swoon.  
_Not you!_ she said as she racked her brain on what to do.  
"What are you doing here?" Meredith asked, a slight twinge of panic in her voice.

Derek had his hand behind his back, bringing it forward to show a half bouquet of disheveled flowers.

Meredith's eyes grew wide.

"I wanna know why you threw my flowers away; they were strewn across the stairs," Derek said, showing her the stray ones he neglected to pick up.

Meredith grabbed them from his hand quickly, "I didn't throw them away, my lunatic mother did, and if you stay she may come out here."  
Derek raised his eyebrows, "Meeting your mother?," he asked as she let out a deep breath, "I admit it's a bit sudden," he took a deep breath "…okay I'm ready." He joked with a smile.

"This _is not_ funny," Meredith said, frustrated.

"Can't shut me out forever," he said, truly curious about Meredith's mother.

"Meeting my mother will not be pleasant, nor a requirement," Meredith said as she closed her front door behind her quietly, isolated herself with Derek on the front porch.

Derek stared at the closed door, "Well, aren't you going to invite me in?" he asked with a charming smile, making Meredith herself question her intentions. The smile he gave made her want to let him in.

"No?" she said as a half question.

Derek furrowed his brow, "Well, she can't be that evil…can she?" Derek asked as he stared in her eyes. Meredith was staring over Derek's shoulder into nothing as she thought of how _non_-evil her mother was, the day her father left came to mind as she thought about it Derek waited for an answer to his question.

::  
_Thatcher had left when Meredith was younger, it was her birthday and she was content to have her mom and dad home while she had cake and presents, but childhood normalcy died that day. Thatcher came home with the cake for Meredith's birthday and some balloons.  
Meredith was upstairs, putting on a party dress she had picked out when she and her dad went shopping that morning, it was special occasion to both him and her. She was getting older, he was sad to see his daughter grow up so fast but happy that she was enjoying life.  
Meredith heard the yelling as she was brushing her long blonde hair, it caught her attention and caused her to peek her head out of her bedroom door. Ellis was at it again. Terrorizing her husband, the neighbors must have thought…but Meredith knew bette- she knew that rather then going downstairs, she should just wait it out…she did not want to risk getting in the middle and hearing the yelling close up. They tended to fight about the same things, time and hospital were two key words always heard on Thatcher's end. He complained about Ellis' long hours and the fact that she didn't call or come home at respectable hours. Ellis told Thatcher that she made the bulk of the money in the house and that he should be content with the fact that they would never have to struggle to pay the bills because of her talent and her profession.  
The yelling had gotten heated more so then ever and the yelling was louder then young Meredith could have remembered, she crept down the stairs quietly to see her mom shoving Thatcher.  
"She may think she needs you, but I don't!!! I don't!!!"  
"She needs me! A girl needs her father!" Thatcher said, pleading with his wife.  
"No she doesn't, and neither do I. Get your stuff and go! Get out!!!" Ellis yelled as she shoved his chest again. She was good at angry but this was a new side of Ellis Thatcher had never seen before._

"_But…"  
"OUT!!!! _NOW_ THATCH.!!!" Meredith stared wide eyed at the sight as she sat down on the stair case. Thatcher grabbed his jacket and walked out the door. Ellis leaned on the kitchen counter and started crying. Meredith looked around as the abrupt yelling had stopped and the house had turned silent, she followed her father out the door, to see him getting in his car. She stood at the top of the stairs.  
"Daddy!!!"  
Thatcher's face softened as he turned towards his young daughter  
"Daddy don't go!!!" she cried  
"Meredith! Get back inside, NOW!!" Ellis yelled as she tried composing herself. _

_::_

"Can she?" Derek asked again, wondering if she had heard him at all.

"She can be," Meredith admitted as she heard the door knob being turned behind her, she winced before she turned around, already feeling sorry for what Derek was about to endure.

_And you make me talk  
And you make me feel  
And you make me show  
What Im trying to conceal  
If I trust in you, would you let me down?  
Would you laugh at me, if I said I care for you?  
Could you feel the same way too?  
I wanna know......_


	43. Chapter 43

"Meredith, who is this? Are you the paper boy or something?" Ellis asked, making Derek feel self conscious.

"No," Derek answered, suddenly feeling more judged then he ever had been in his life.

"And Meredith, I thought I threw those flowers out, picking up trash is not your job," Ellis added as she stared at Derek.

"This is Derek," Meredith said as she closed her eyes, opening them as she turned around to face her mother.

"And?" she asked, no more interested then she was ten seconds ago.

"Derek Shepherd," Derek added, "A _friend_ of Meredith's," he said, testing the waters.

"A friend?" Ellis asked as she looked him up and down. He was happy, ecstatic in fact to even be near Meredith, though he hid it well.

Meredith nodded, "Yes," she said calmly.

"Are you going to come in or just stand there Derek Shepherd?" she said, saying both his names, mocking his introduction as she turned around and made her way back into her house.

Meredith rolled her eyes and turned back to face Derek, "Now look what you've done,' she said with sad eyes.

Derek sighed, "It won't be that bad," he said as he let Meredith into the house before himself, closing the door behind them quietly.

_Ladies and gentlemen, the emasculation of Derek is about to commence,_ Meredith announced in her head as she headed down the hallway, hearing Derek's footsteps behind her was only somewhat reassuring.

Ellis was being cordial as she sat down at the dining room table. Meredith nudged Derek as she sat down across from Ellis, letting him know he should sit next to her, and across from Ellis.

"Do you want a glass of water or something to eat?" Meredith asked in order to fill the silence.

"This isn't a soup kitchen Meredith; I don't know anything about this Derek," she said, eyeing him.

"I'm fine," Derek said towards Meredith, already feeling like the interrogation had begun.

"So, you said you and Meredith were just friends?" Ellis asked as she fiddled with the napkin holder in the middle of the table.

"Uh," Derek said as he looked at Meredith and back to Ellis, "Yes," he said.

"The hesitation in your voice tells me you're lying. So either you are or you aren't, friends with her that is. You are definitely lying though."

Derek nodded, his throat was going dry,_ this is what a police investigation must feel like,_ he thought. Meredith squeezed his hand underneath the table, she had been on his side of the questioning countless times- she knew exactly what he was going through.

"So either you hate her or you are more than friends," Ellis said calmly. "Do you hate my daughter?" Ellis asked, watching Derek's expression carefully.

Derek's face flashed panic as he glanced at Meredith, "No."

"So you are _more_ then friends with my daughter but you deny it until I coax the truth out of you?"

Derek let out a breath, _Jesus Christ, now I'm the enemy?_ He asked himself, not knowing what to say.

"Well we are friends," Meredith said, chiming in for Derek's sake.

"So Derek-not friends with my daughter-Shepherd you go the same high school as Meredith?" Ellis asked, swinging into her element as she flexed her intimidation muscles.

"Yes," Derek said, thinking short answers were better in this case.

"What grade?" Ellis asked, continuing her interrogation of Derek as Meredith sat back, watching the chaos unfold, it was like driving past a car crash on the freeway, you can't help but slow down and look out of morbid curiosity.

"I'll be a junior in August."

"Meredith will be a freshman," Ellis said, Meredith was surprised she remembered that much.

"Yes," Derek said, feeling like an idiot, kicking himself for not being able to say anything more significant.

"You're a_ junior_ and she's a freshman. That's quite an age difference, speaking in terms of high school," Ellis said, looking at Meredith, Meredith looked eternally young to her.

"Two years only," Derek said, hoping to defend himself.

"I assure you they taught me how to count in medical school," she said as she got up and poured herself a glass of water from the tap. "Would you like a glass of water Derek?" she asked out of formality.

"No, thank you," _please let me go_, Derek pleaded internally.

Ellis nodded, "Fine," she said as she brought hers to the table and sat back down. "So you'll be applying to school's next year?"

Derek nodded, "Yes."

"And where do you intend on applying?"

"Well my dad went to Harvard…"

"And you have to follow in his footsteps?" Ellis asked, cutting Derek off.

"No, but Harvard is a good school and there is no harm in applying."

"Harvard is a great school, placating your father by fooling him into thinking that your aspirations are the same as his is selfish don't you think?" Ellis asked, looking at Meredith for a moment. Meredith didn't know how to interject, so she didn't.

"I don't think I am fooling anyone," Derek said. "In the end it is my decision to make."

Meredith nodded, proud of Derek speaking up for himself.

"And do you know what you want to do with yourself?" she asked, referring to his career goals but it somehow made Derek feel inadequate in all aspects of his life momentarily.

"No, I don't," he said, half wincing, surely that wouldn't go over well with her, he thought.

"Charming," Ellis said as she took a sip of her water.  
Meredith bit her lower lip, _crap, crap, crap,_ she thought. Derek looked Ellis straight in the eyes, however stupidly he had chosen to answer, and however inadequate Ellis made him out to be at least he had that, he thought.

"Well, I still have some time to decide," Derek said, offering a cop out for himself, he swore he could feel his palms sweating but ignored it.

"Yes," Ellis said quietly. She had no more questions left for the boy in front of her, he seemed harmless enough.

"Derek has to go," Meredith said, trying to save him from further accusations or insults.

"Yes, I have to get going. You have a lovely home, Dr. Grey," Derek said, remembering his manners, how ever difficultly they came to him in the moment he had to use them out of formality. "Thank you for your _hospitality,"_ he said with an extra charming smile, as much as she had made him feel bad he would not give her the satisfaction of knowing.

"Thank you for dropping by unannounced, this has been _interesting,"_ Ellis said as she stood up. Derek stood up as well, Meredith following him.

"I'll walk you out," she offered as she followed Derek. Derek nodded, no words coming out of his mouth as they stepped onto the porch.

Meredith closed the door behind him as she looked at Derek, ready for him to say that he hated her mother, that she was evil and he couldn't stand her and that he wanted nothing to do with her or her mother.

Derek opened his mouth as he stood with his hands on his hips, he closed his mouth as he thought of what to say, looking at Meredith who looked utterly confused, apologetic and scared at the same time.

"God, I…" Derek began.

Meredith winced, _can't believe you're related to that witch? _Meredith offered in her head, _ just walk away,_ she said, thinking that that was what was about to ensue.

"I cannot believe that that's your mother," Derek said as he ran a hand through his hair. "I'm so sorry," he continued, as he gave her a hug, Meredith felt utterly confused yet again, "That she is who you have had to deal with all along."

Meredith chuckled for a second, surprised that this was his assessment of the situation. She was happy that he wasn't giving up on her yet.

"Thank you," she whispered, "for understanding," she said almost inaudibly.

Derek pulled away and cupped her face with his hands as he kissed her forehead. Meredith smiled.

"She hates me," he said matter of factly as he brushed a hair out of her face.

Meredith nodded.

"You know what the best part is?" Derek asked.

Meredith shrugged, _she'll die in fifty years? _She asked herself cynically.

"She never said anything that was outright rude. She didn't call me stupid or an idiot but everything she said had this undertone of maliciousness about it…She's…genius. Evil, but genius. And all I could spit out was 'yes'," he said as he shook his head.

"That's my mother," Meredith said, "There are no compliments that are not paired with insults. I don't think she has a sincere bone in her body, I could have sworn she did when we were kids but I think that…that's just wishful thinking," Meredith said as she placed her hand in her pockets.

Derek shook his head,_ she damaged you_, he thought. "It's amazing you've turned out the way you have," he said, in awe of her resiliency. Meredith raised her eyebrows and looked to the side, compliments were always hard to accept when you grew up trusting few people. She was getting better at it though, or so she liked to think.

"I really do have to go," Derek said, "But I'll call you," he said with a smile. "Take care," he said as he walked down her steps, smiling at her when he got to his car. Meredith waved as she went back inside. She wouldn't lecture her mother or reprimand her and tell her that she was cold, there was no use anymore. She was past the point of no return.

Meredith reluctantly headed back inside, walking slowly back into the kitchen as she heard the washing machine beep, signaling the load inside it was done. She was all too happy to head to the laundry room instead.

Derek headed down the street, driving to Mark's house, breathing a sigh of relief that he had lived to endure the wrath of Ellis Grey.

_I believe we fear what we don't know  
we can be our own enemy  
but if we conquer that  
if you take my hand  
I see a girl you see a man_

_:::_

_Enjoy._


	44. Chapter 44

Derek and Mark headed to the mall and some shopping centers to fill out applications. They decided to split up and pick up two applications wherever each went, filling them out afterwards would be easier.

They met up at the coffee shop after ward, both had a stack of applications in hand.

Derek walked over to Mark who had been sitting outside of the coffee shop on the bench, waiting for Derek. Mark always seemed to be finishing things before Derek; Derek learned not to question it anymore.

"So how'd you make out?" Derek asked casually as he sat down next to Mark, flipping through the applications on the bench, taking out the duplicates and placing them on his alp.

Mark shrugged, "Not bad, you?" he asked as he took the stack out of Derek's hand.

"Better than you," Derek said with a sense of pride.

"Yeah, well I was looking for quality. I had a mini interview at one place," he said as he thumbed through applications as well.

"And?" Derek asked, that had to be good, he thought.

"At the grocery store, apparently as a bag boy, which I guess isn't that bad because you can become a cashier eventually but whatever. The manager was an ass."

"Because he didn't hire you?" Derek asked with a smile.

"He said, 'sometimes we are short staffed and the janitorial staff is unavailable, so the baggers are left to clean the bathrooms. Are you willing to do that?' he asked me. I said no," Mark said with a chuckle.

"Smooth," Derek said, "I bet he loved that."

"Well that translates to they are too cheap to keep a janitor employed so instead they exploit the minimum wage paid bag boy to do it for them. I'm willing to work, but not cleaning bathrooms," Mark said as he took an application and crumpled it up, throwing it in the trash can next to him.

"What was wrong with _that_ one?" Derek asked.

"I am not willing to work in a video store," Mark said with a cocky smile.

Derek rolled his eyes, "Hopefully you'll find something worthy of your time," Derek joked with Mark.

"I'm sure I will," he said as they headed inside the coffee shop to sit at a table and fill out applications. Mark wanted a job more then Derek did but Derek thought it would be hard to get one if he was so picky about what kind of job he wanted. He brushed it off, not wanting to lecture Mark- in their friendship, they were equals.

:::

Meredith was a little too happy to say goodbye to her mother who decided to go back to work once she was allowed to. She spent her time avoiding her mother by doing laundry and chores. Ellis said she worked too hard and insisted on getting a maid but Meredith refused the idea. There wasn't too much work in all honesty and it somehow was calming, she couldn't fathom another person coming in and taking care of her chores.

Meredith called Cristina as she folded laundry, ready to tell her of her day's escapades and ready to hear Cristina's reaction to them.

"So he met Ellis?" Cristina asked as they eased into conversation.

Meredith sighed, "Yes, but it wasn't completely disastrous."

"She hates him," Cristina said without hesitation.

"She hates him," Meredith agreed, although it didn't matter what her mother thought. Her barometer for happiness was based on hours booked in an OR and not how people made her feel. After Derek had left Ellis lectured Meredith about her potential and about how dating someone with no life goals was going to cause her to not have any either. She deserved better, Ellis thought. Meredith nodded, the more she agreed, the shorter the conversations proved to be. She didn't agree with Ellis but pretending to was fruitful.

"It could have been worse," Cristina said, trying to make Meredith feel better.

"Yeah, she likes you, why does she hate Derek?" Meredith asked, confused.

"Because I'm not intimidated by her and I always answer all her questions. Honestly, if you let yourself get walked all over, you deserve it," Cristina said. Ellis had always liked her, to Ellis, Cristina was everything she wanted her daughter to be; she was headstrong and goal oriented and cold on the surface, she saw herself in Cristina and respected it. The fact that Cristina was never intimidated by her also helped her win points in Ellis' book.

"He wasn't completely scared off," Meredith said as she folded a pair of socks, adding them to a stack she had already started.

"That's good, McDreamy isn't a complete wimp."

Meredith laughed, "No, he has some courage to face my mother and want to come back for more."

"I'm sure he knows you're not like her and if he's dumb enough to believe that then you should let him walk away…or kick his ass."

Meredith rolled her eyes, "Because violence is the answer?" she asked sarcastically.

"Yes," Cristina joked, "those people who said it wasn't never tried it."

Meredith smiled, "Thanks," she said, meaning the kind words and honesty that she had come to expect from Cristina.

"Yeah, I have to go, my mom is insisting on going shopping, as in dragging me. Shoot me now," Cristina said with a groan.

"Buy something pretty," Meredith said with a smile, Cristina hung up at that. Meredith laughed, there was such a great chasm between who Cristina was and who her mother wanted her to be that it was comical to think of Cristina as ultra feminine- the way her mother wanted her to be.

Meredith took t he full laundry basket and headed up the stairs with it as she relaxed into her simple chores.

::::

"So out of the ten applications you filled out six?" Derek asked skeptically as they walked towards the shops they had gotten applications for.

Mark shrugged, "Yeah, if I'm going to work, it better somewhere where I can honestly see myself slaving away."

Derek nodded. "True," he said in agreement. "Fewer applications means fewer chances to land a job," Derek pointed out.

"I plan on using my charm," Mark half joked. Derek knew Mark had a certain charisma and charm, it was apparent to everyone who met him; he was able to talk his way out of detention and talk teachers into bending the rules for him.

"Good luck," Derek joked as they crossed the street.

"Looking for a job is hard work," Mark joked, "My parents are out at some benefit tonight, we should invited some people over."

"A party?" Derek asked, high school was full of them but Mark wasn't usually at the center of them.

"Not a party…a kickback," he said, scratching his head, searching for the right word, "something casual."

"Yeah, sounds good."

"You should invited Meredith," Mark said as they walked into a sporting goods store where they had picked up applications from.

"You think?" He asked Mark, not really sure on what the protocol was on how to incorporate the girl you're dating into other aspects of your social life.

"Well yeah…then again Addison usually gets wind of these things even if she's not invited. She'll probably come with her minions," Mark joked as they dropped their applications into the appropriate bin at the customer service desk, he made sure to smile at the girl who was standing behind the counter, it would ensure that she would remember him, and the fact t hat his application was on top. They walked around the store, it was their version of shopping. Girls had department stores and guys had sporting goods stores.

"Addison and I have an understanding," Derek said as he eyed a titanium golf club, running his finger over the ridges on the end.

"Since when does Addison understand anything? She makes her own rules," Mark said as he grabbed the golf club Derek had been touching. Mark took a practice swing with it, getting the feel for it.

Derek chuckled, "Yeah," he said as he pushed the back of Mark's knee with his foot, mid swing, causing him to veer off course. Mark laughed, faking a swing at Derek's knee cap, stopping short a few inches before his target, he put the golf club back as they continued to walk through the store. Derek wondered whether or not inviting Meredith was a good idea.

_And if you say that I'm naive  
That I dont understand the world at all  
You might be right but it seems to me  
That we've come to far to fall_

:::

Enjoy!


	45. Chapter 45

Mark and Derek finished up dropping off filled out applications to their respective stores, Mark was hoping for a descent job whereas Derek was testing the waters and merely entertaining the idea of a job. He wouldn't shy away from the opportunity, he'd like to think, if given the chance but if fate should deny him it he wouldn't bear a grudge either. Derek hadn't figured out why Mark wanted a job yet, it wasn't as if his family needed the money, he let it slide, thinking Mark had a good enough reason. Mark had insisted on getting together some friends, he was the social butterfly, able to bring together groups of people on a whim. Derek and Mark sat around his backyard, a carefully decorated place with strategically placed boulders, designed by some garden designer his mother chose, Mark assumed- he didn't even know if someone like that existed. In the center of the backyard was a large built in fire pit, surrounded by large wooden patio chairs, at the far end of the yard, a small pool and Jacuzzi settled into the bright green grass. It was a gorgeous house with an yard for entertaining, although Mark could count on one hand how many times they actually used it as a family since it was built. Derek threw a couple of miniature logs into the fire pit as Mark poured lighter fluid on top, pouring it on liberally as he lit a match and threw it on to the pile of dry wood, the ignited instantly.

They both sat back into the large wooden chairs that flanked the warm embers, Mark folded his hands behind his head as he let out a fulfilling sigh, he had decided that the day was successful and that with any luck he would be employed in the near future, the worst case scenario wasn't something he thought of often, or ever really.

"Who are you going to invite?" Derek asked Mark as he leaned his head back and looked at the sky, it was dusk and the sky was clear, beautiful Derek thought.

"Since I'm lazy, I'll just mass text a bunch of people," Mark said as he got his phone out of his back pocket. "You decide what you want to do about Meredith? She coming or not?" Mark asked, truly interested as to how Derek was going to navigate this.

"I don't know, I don't want to throw her to the sharks," Derek said, referring to Addison and her loyal minions.

"Better now then at school. You know, let her dip her feet into the water before she's shoved in blindly."

"Nice metaphor," Derek said sarcastically.

Mark smiled, "Thanks."

"I'll call her," Derek said as he got up and walked towards the house, he dialed Meredith's cell phone number as he walked. She picked up after two rings, he wanted her to pick up but in small selfish way he didn't want her to, he didn't want her to come because he wanted her to himself. Surely she would meet people who weren't the kindest upon first glance; he didn't want her to get scared off.

"Hello," Meredith's voice answered warmly.

Derek sucked in a deep breath, "hey," he said, trying to sound casual.

"What's up?" She asked, _have you come to your senses and decided I'm not your type? _She asked herself sarcastically.

"Uh…Mark is having a little…'get together'," he said, not wanting to say party, not wanting to overwhelm her, "tonight, I was wondering if you wanted to come?" he asked, biting his lower lip.

"Like a party?" Meredith asked.

_Crap,_ Derek thought, "Yeah, like a party."

_A party? Can't say no after he was so nice about my mom,_ she thought. "I don't know if that's such a good idea."

"Do you have a curfew or something?"

_No, just a sense of self preservation, _Meredith thought. "Um…no."

"If I pick you up in fifteen minutes, is that too soon?"

Meredith bit her lower lip.

"Unless you have plans," Derek offered.

"No, no plans."

"So I'll see you soon?" Derek asked, _say no, say no_, he thought, thinking this would be the catalyst that would make her leave him. She'd meet his friends, realize that she didn't like them at all and associate them with him; after all, she was the one that said 'you are the company that you keep'. Derek ran a hand through his hair, frustrated with himself.

"Sure," Meredith said as she hung up, walking up her stair case as she decided what she was going to wear, she only had fifteen minutes to decide, fifteen minutes exactly, she thought, Derek was strangely always on time.

:::

Derek walked towards Mark, he smiled at Derek, Derek looked nervous and Mark found it humorous.

"She said yes?" he asked Derek.

Derek nodded, "I'm going to go pick her up," Derek said, pointing to the main house. "I'll be back soon," he said.

Mark nodded, Derek walked towards the house, picking up the pace to a slight jog as he got closer to the car.

::::

Meredith had decided that jeans and a plain white t-shirt were fine, trying not to over think it, she went to the bathroom and brushed her hair. She grabbed a plain purple hoodie from her closet and went downstairs to put on her black ballet flats.

_No time to overthink it,_ she thought. She texted Cristina as she waited, **Derek invited me to some party with all his friends…say you'll come with me?**, she pressed send with hope. A response came within a minute, **Can't. Mommy dearest is holding me hostage at a benefit with stuck up people…Good luck, **Cristina responded.

Meredith sighed and sat down on the stair case as the doorbell ringed. _Fifteen damn minutes on the dot,_ she thought as she opened the door.

Derek looked a bit nervous as he smiled at Meredith.

"You look nice," He said as he smiled at her, "Ready?"

Meredith looked at Derek, wondering if this was the right thing to do.

"Uh…yeah," she said as she locked the door behind her.

_So if my compass, it fails me  
And I feel I'm walking blind  
Don't say goodbye  
Don't let me hide  
Oh please don't let me spiral_

_::::_

Enjoy.


	46. Chapter 46

"Wow," Meredith said almost inaudibly. Mark's house was gorgeous, like a movie version of a house made to look like a cabin. It was outdoorsy but refine and new looking- great detail went into deciding this, she thought- after all the house could not have been more then ten years old.

"We're here," Derek said, Meredith decided he looked calmer then w hen he picked her up, he warmed up to his usual self in the car so she let her insecurities go. The driveway was empty, she noticed. "So, who's going to be here?" Meredith asked as Derek parked on the street.

"Um, I don't know who Mark invited, but most of the guys from the football game," he said, hoping that a few familiar faces would ease her transition into his world.

"Oh…good," she said, for the most part she liked them although for the most part she didn't know them.

Derek nodded as he got out of the car and walked over to open Meredith's door, he was happy they had made it back extraordinarily early. No one was here yet except Mark.

Meredith smiled as they walked up, "Are his parents here?" she asked, not knowing what the exact protocol was for high school parties.

"No," Derek said as he shook his head, "but there's no drinking or anything-Mark's not into that. That and you can't play sports if they catch you drinking."

Meredith nodded, _yay for no drunken awkwardness,_ she thought.

Derek opened the gate for the backyard as he let Meredith walk in first. Meredith looked at the perfectly landscaped backyard and breathed a sigh of relief as she saw Mark. Mark stood up as he saw Derek and Meredith walking towards him.

Meredith smiled, "Hey," she said as she walked towards him.

Mark smiled, "You made it Grey," he said with a chuckle as he looked at Derek, whose face looked whiter then usual.

Derek smiled when Meredith looked at him, not tipping her off.

"Sit," Mark offered as he pointed to one of the large wooden chairs surrounding the warmth of the fire.

Meredith smiled as she sat down, Derek taking his place next to her.

"You want a soda or something?" Mark asked Meredith, wondering where Derek's manners went, or his balls for that matter.

"Not now, but thank you. Your house is gorgeous," Meredith said as she surveyed the rest of the backyard.

"Thanks," Mark said, "you should tell that to my mother, she'd pained over it for a year, every detail is her doing," Mark said half sincerely. It was in fact his mother's master plan but she spent more time on the house then she ever had with Mark, it was just a giant figure in Mark's life that reminded him he was second priority in her life.

Meredith smiled, Mark was warm and kind, she hoped all his Derek's friends were like this but she was sure that was not true.

"MARK!!" Mark turned at the sound of his name; it was coming from the front of the house.

"Backyard!" he yelled back.

Derek looked at the door, wondering who arrived first.

Meredith crossed her legs, _so it begins,_ she thought. Her idea of a small get together was already shattered. Luckily, it was only Weiss and James who came in.

Mark walked over to them, exchanging hello's with pats on the back as they walked over to Derek and Meredith.

Weiss smiled at Derek and Meredith, figuring by now that they were more then friends by the way he was looking at her.

Derek got up and said hi as well, "You remember Meredith," he told them as she stood up."

"Yeah," James responded as he took a seat.

"Oh I _remember_ Meredith," Weiss said, thinking of the water fight she and Cristina had had on the field. Mark patted Weiss' back extra hard, "Why don't you sit," he encouraged Weiss.

Derek shook his head and laughed, Meredith smiled awkwardly, missing the point of Weiss' comment.

"So," Mark started off. "When are some descent people showing up?" he joked, "I mean besides Meredith, the rest of you can leave," he said as he winked at her.

Meredith relaxed.

"Well I don't know about you," James said, "but Savannah better come," James said with a smile.

Weiss rolled his eyes, "You must be on drugs if you think Savvy likes you," he told James, whose smile didn't fade.

Meredith laughed, male competitiveness was funny. "Who's Savvy?" she asked the guys.

Mark looked at Meredith, "She's Addison's best friend."

"Addison?" Meredith asked, Derek looked at Mark with a look that begged him to explain why he had mentioned that. Mark ignored Derek.

"Yeah," Mark said, but I'm sure she has better things to do.

"And miss a chance to show off her new outfit?" James said, mocking the princess side of Addison's personality.

"Why?" Weiss asked, looking around t he circle for answers.

Meredith stood up, "How bout that soda?" she asked Mark.

Mark stood up, noticing her escape route, "Right this way," he said as he led her to the house.

Derek's eyes followed them.

"What happened between Addie and Meredith?" Weiss asked Derek, Derek turned to look at him.

"She feels threatened by Meredith, so she tried scaring her off."

James laughed, Weiss chuckled, "Chicks," he said, brushing off their altercation and blaming it on estrogen.

"So tell us what happened," James added as Mark opened the glass door for Meredith.

"Did you really want that soda?" Mark asked in all seriousness to Meredith.

"No, not really," Meredith said.

Mark raised his eyebrows, he understood it, she wanted a minute alone.

"I'm an avoider," Meredith admitted, "It's what I do."

"Oh," Mark said with a smile.

"Yeah," Meredith said as they walked into the kitchen, she opened the fridge and took out a soda for the heck of it.

"Thank you for letting me come," she told Mark as she tossed one to him.

"You're always welcome here," Mark said as he opened his soda.

Meredith smiled. "Don't be nervous" he said as he looked her over, something in her eyes told him that she was nervous about something, or scared.

"I feel like that weird person that walks up and joins conversations they're not a part of you know…like everyone here knows everyone…except me."

Mark shook his head, "they may not know you but they have heard of you," he said as he took a swig of his soda.

Meredith sighed, "Great," she said sarcastically.

Mark looked out into the backyard, a few more guys had arrived, Ben, Riley and a few faces that Meredith wouldn't recognize.

"I'm going to go grab the cooler and fill it, you should go join them," Mark said, pointing his head in the direction of the backyard.

"Right," Meredith said as she headed towards the door. "Wish me luck," she said with a nervous glance towards Mark. He smiled at her, trying to reassure her.

Meredith walked back out, "MEREDITH!!!" all the guys yelled in her direction. They were trying to make her feel welcome, per Derek's request. It worked, her face turned red and she smiled as she walked over to Derek.

Derek stood up and walked over to her, mouthing 'sorry' with an unapologetic smile. She couldn't help but smile in response.

_Every time I run somehow love is faster  
Without your loneliness is everlasting  
I still feel you  
But I hear you - loudly  
Screaming - "please wait for me"  
Cause I don't want to hurt you  
And I don't want to loose this love this time._

_::::_


	47. Chapter 47

Meredith melted into the crowd seamlessly, even with the addition of a few girls. They all took to her kindly, for the most part. It was because she was with Derek, not vying for his attention but already having it. Had she not arrived _with_ him it would have been a different story. Even though she was there with Derek it didn't mean they liked her.

Meredith laughed at the guys' jokes and enjoyed their company but steered clear of the girls and never wandered too far away from Derek, he was her lifeline, she was connected to everyone through him. Mark meanwhile was playing host and socializing with absolutely everyone.

Meredith walked towards the house; she needed a moment to herself before the noise of the party swallowed her whole. _Bathroom,_ she thought to herself as she headed inside. Inside it was less crowded, people who had arrived came in to get a drink and a few couples were making out on the couch, Meredith rolled her eyes as she walked down the hallway, spotting Mark coming out of the garage door with a bag of ice.

He nodded at Meredith, Meredith smiled, she mouthed the word 'bathroom' to him and he pointed to a door down the hall, behind him. She nodded in return.

"Having fun?" he asked her as she came closer to him.

"Trying to," she admitted how successfully she hadn't figured it out yet.

"Good," he said as he headed towards the kitchen, leaving Meredith to herself.

She tried the door and it was locked after she jiggled the door knob. Mark winked at the red head leaning against the island of the kitchen.

Meredith tried jiggling the knob again; she swore she couldn't see any lights on through the crack of the door.

"Be right out" she heard from inside.  
She nodded "Okay", she said as she stepped away from the door.  
The door unlocked and a blonde female stepped out, dressed in a bright pink short dress, "All yours," she said as she straightened the hem line of her dress, doing a double take of Meredith as she walked away.

"Thanks," Meredith said.

The blonde turned around to face Meredith, Meredith thought she had forgotten something.

"_You're_ Meredith," she said, questioning the face before her.

"What?" Meredith asked, not sure she had heard correctly.

"Are you?" she asked as she looked Meredith in the eyes.

"Yeah but…" Meredith started, interrupted by the girl in front of her before she could ask how she knew that.

"Sweetie, _everyone_ knows you," she said as she walked away, the clicking of her high heels and her platinum blonde hair cascading down her back reassured Meredith that she was indeed an alien species in this world.  
"Great" Meredith groaned as she stepped inside the marble walled bathroom.  
_Nice_, she thought sarcastically to herself as she looked in the mirror, she washed her face, trying to feel refreshed. She was the only girl there that wasn't in a designer dress.

Meredith leaned over the sink, letting out a deep breath, _face the music_ she knew it was like that. Rip the band aid off and what not. _Get it together,_ Meredith thought as she sat down on the lid of the toilet, trying to enjoy the lone moment of silence.  
:::::

Mark nodded at Addison, raising his eyebrows as he scanned her body. She was dressed beautifully, as always. She was wearing a pastel yellow pleated shirt dress and some wedges, looking as innocent as possible.

"Hey," Addison said with a smile.

Mark shook his head, "hey yourself, if you're here to scare off Meredith's girl…"

"Last I checked she didn't belong to anyone," Addison said with shrug.

"And neither did you," Mark said as he looked around. "You look good."

Addison raised her eyebrows, a part of her always wanted to be with him. They fit, he was popular, and she was popular. Mark and she were just friends, she thought.  
Addison stared at Mark; he dumped the ice in the cooler with a loud crash, startling Addison.

Mark walked over to Addison and put his hand on the island, next to her hip as he whispered in her ear. "Don't ruin this for Derek," he said so no one could hear him, he didn't want to embarrass her.

Addison rolled her eyes.

Mark put his hand on her neck as he issued another warning to her, "You don't get to act morally superior this time. I'm serious Addi…"

"Let go Mark, I don't need rumors starting," she said as she removed his hand from her neck.

Mark took his hand off her, lifting his hands in surrender, "Yes mam," he said he headed back towards the garage for more ice.  
Addison let out a deep breath as she straightened her hair and headed outside to join the party, plastering on a carefree smile.

:::

Meredith exited the bathroom, hearing female voices down the hall and wanting to avoid them at all costs, she followed the dim light coming from under the door down the hall.

She opened it with caution, if the couples making out on the couch were any indication of what people would do in public, she didn't want to know what they would do behind the closed door. It was the garage; a couple of luxury German cars inside, and a dim light on.

Mark was in there getting ice from the small freezer for the party, dropping it when he realized that someone was staring at him.

"Meredith?" he asked.

"Sorry," she said as she walked over, bending down to pick the bag up.  
"Don't worry," he said as he picked it up and placed it back in the freezer for a moment.

Meredith nodded  
"Are you okay?"

Meredith looked around the garage, avoiding eye contact with him, history had taught her that her eyes were the easiest to read, "I..."

Mark listened as he crossed his arms, wondering what happened, _I swear Addison has got a rude awakening coming,_ he thought, automatically thinking she was responsible for the Meredith he saw in front of him. She looked nervous and claustrophobic.

"I just need a minute," she said as she closed her eyes for a moment. Mark put his hand on her shoulder as he opened the door for one of t he cars in the garage, offering her a seat, _better then the cold cement,_ he thought.

Meredith sat down on the inside of the car as she leaned her head back and closed her eyes. Mark walked around to the other side of the car and sat down next to her, she heard the door close and open next to her but didn't startle. It was comfortingly quiet in the garage.

"So...Derek tells me your looking for a job?" Meredith said, breaking the silence without opening her eyes. Mark looked over at her, "Yeah," he said, thinking she wanted to talk about anything then what was bothering her.

"Why?"

"It's another place to be instead of at home, and…money, who doesn't want that," he said lightheartedly. Meredith opened her eyes and looked over at him; he was sitting on the passenger side of car, comfortably in the situation.

"Why don't you want to be here?" she asked, they had never finished their conversation in her house and she not virtually nothing about Mark.

Mark let out a breath, not sure if he wanted to venture into the dark and twisty side of himself with a girl. He never had. Meredith was different, he was sure of it.

"It's not that I hate it here, I love my mom, she's great." Mark said as he closed his eyes and leaned his head back, mirroring Meredith's motions from earlier.

"What about your dad?" she asked as she heard a car horn on the street. She was truly curious about Mark.

"He died when I was in the third grade."

Meredith opened her mouth as she looked back at him, "I'm so sorry."

Mark shook his head, "No worries, not your fault," he said as she continued to lean back.

"And I thought I had it hard," she said, thinking herself naïve and foolish.

"Drunk driver," Mark said simply.

Meredith nodded.

"And ah..." he said as his eyes were about to water, not wanting to open them, ""I guess I just never really got over it. I mean when it happened," he said as he cleared his throat, "it was sudden, he was going out for milk and he just never came back."

Meredith looked over at him and put her hand over his as it rested on the gear shift.

Meredith knew how hard it was for him to talk about it. She could see it on his face, but in a way it defined who he was. It was what drove him to push harder in sports and do better school. Pain was an ally at times for both of them. Lives defined by the downfalls.

"I got really attached to my mom after; it was only me and her then and a few years later she remarried and I couldn't handle that."

"You don't like him?" Meredith asked.

"I don't know," Mark said as he opened his eyes to look at her. "I never gave him a chance, and I've hated him so long that we've had this distant thing going…whatever," he said, wanting to skip the part where they hugged and all that emotional crap he spent his life avoiding.

Meredith squeezed Mark's hand, telling him he was strong and brave for talking about it, expressing her thoughts without words. Mark plastered a smile on his face, "Look at me, I'm depressing you," he said as he hopped out of the car and opened her door, "you're supposed to be mingling," he said as she stepped out.

"Right," Meredith said, feigning a smile as Mark grabbed the ice from the freezer and headed towards the door, Meredith following.

"You sure you're okay?" he asked before he opened the door. _What a stupid question, _ she thought , given the last five minutes and their conversation. She nodded.

"If you ever need to talk,I'm here," Mark said with a smile.

Meredith nodded, "Thank you," she said, feeling like she had a confidant in all of this.

"You want to go out first? Rumor mill around here is pretty heavy, but you know that."

Meredith shrugged, "I don't care what people think."

Mark nodded, "Good enough for me," he said as he opened the door for her, letting her go first as they headed back into the party. She looked better then when she had walked in on him and he somehow felt better as well.

_Cause I believe that tears  
Are dried seeds that've sown  
The harvest time will come  
And all this pain will go  
So try to understand  
We're just grains of sand  
Every woman every man_

_::::_

Yay for Dirty Mistresses Club.


	48. Chapter 48

Meredith walked out into the backyard, passing by the raging hormones of the teenagers making out on the couch and the withering stares of some overly dressed girls in the kitchen, she walked out with her chin up, exuding the confidence she felt was lacking.

Derek spotted her immediately, leaving the small crowd he had been in, which included a few girls as well. The girls looked utterly disappointed that Meredith was there. Not only had she showed up in his life out of the blue but she had him in a way the other girls never could. It was no secret that Derek Shepherd was good looking and kind as well, he was the dream guy- the prince charming to their would be princesses.

Derek smiled as she approached Meredith, she looked calm enough, he thought to himself. No worse for the wear, yet he thought. He had hoped that everyone was making her feel welcome but he knew his friends and he know how intimidating they could be. It was insecurity, they stayed close together and tight knit because then no one challenged them.

"There was a line," Meredith said as she pointed back to the house. Derek nodded; he knew all too well that girls tend to form a line at any bathroom, during any gathering.

"Having fun?" he asked hopeful of her answer.

"Yeah," Meredith said as she walked with him back towards the fire pit.

"Good," Derek said as he grabbed her hand, keeping her close to him as they walked back towards the crowd. Meredith noticed that most of the guys gave Derek the ubiquitous head nod that said hello and I don't hate your date at the same time- it was a small comfort. The nods were contrasted in the girls with stares, they had no shame, staring at Meredith and looking her up and down. Clearly, the challenge here would be to win their approval but Meredith didn't know is she was up to that yet she felt that she had an edge with the guys. After playing football with some of them in the park, they passed her off as easy going and fun to be around and she didn't even have to try to make them like her. Guy friends were easier, she decided. Cristina was different then the girls at this party and it was she whom she wanted there the most. Someone to tell her that the hateful stares from the other girls were derived from insecurity- someone to help her through her inner panic.

Derek and Meredith eased into a conversation after she introduced herself to everyone she hadn't yet met. She was nice and easy to get along with and no one had any problems with her. She stuck by Derek for most of the night, not wanting to stray to far from him in case she had to meet the judgmental eyes of a girl that seemed to already hate her. Addison was in the backyard as well, chatting with girls in mini dresses, _her kind_, Meredith thought, thinking they had zero in common with each other. She never came up to Meredith, never said hello or waved, she stayed afar, even from Derek.

As Derek exchanged jokes and laughs with his friends, he always looked at Meredith, not for approval but to see if she was having a good time as well. She was, and it seemed that it wasn't faked or forced for which he was glad. He knew that the prospect of hanging out with a house full of strangers wouldn't be his first choice and he was glad that Meredith was so open to the idea.

The party eased into the night as others started to go home, leaving in groups and whittling away at the group that was outside. Most of the girls had already left, in herds; Meredith liked to think of them as she stayed outside with Derek and the guys.

By the end of the night Mark and Weiss were talking with Addison and Savannah, saying goodnight as Derek and Meredith were the only ones left by the fire pit. Derek sat next to Meredith and leaned forward to stand up.

"Thank you," he said simply.

Meredith raised her eyebrows, "For what?"

"For coming, for agreeing to this, I know it wasn't the most ideal situation," Derek said as he smiled at her.

Meredith stood up in front of him, "Really, Derek," she said as she let out a sigh, "it wasn't as bad as a I thought it would be."

"Really?" Derek asked happily.

"Really," Meredith said, "the guys like me, the girls will need to warm up or just stab me already," she joked.

"Well I can't blame the guys," he said with a chuckle. She _was _the most beautiful girl at the party.

Meredith rolled her eyes.

"So is everything like this?" Meredith asked as she looked around the now empty backyard.

"Like what?"

"Such a big deal," Meredith said as she turned back to face Derek, "inviting everyone you know kind of deal?" she asked, desperately hoping the answer was no.

"No" Derek said as she shook his head, _god forbid,_ he thought, thinking that he couldn't handle that either, "it's just that it's summer so it's an excuse to be obnoxious and see how many people you can invite," he said, half joking.

Meredith nodded, "Okay," she said as crossed her arms, the Seattle night was beginning to cool her down. Derek wished he would have thought to bring a jacket so he could give it to her.

"We could go," he said offering her an out.

_Thank you, Jesus, _Meredith thought, "please," she said. She was cold and exhausted in her own way. It was her first segue into Derek Shepherd's world and she wasn't sure what to make of it yet.

Derek put his arm around Meredith shoulder and ran his hand up down her arm, in an effort to warm her up as they walked towards Mark.

Mark nodded as he saw them walking, Weiss and Savannah had left, leaving Addison to walk out to her car alone as they flirted heavily.

Mark smiled "You survived Grey," he said, proud of her.

Meredith smiled, "Tried to," she said as told him goodnight. Derek and Mark exchanged goodbyes as well. Mark closed the gate to his backyard and turned back to head inside to his always empty house.

Derek opened the car door for Meredith as she got inside. This day was long and even after meeting her mother, Derek wanted to spend more time with Meredith. She survived his friends and he met her family. Now he wanted her to meet his. He wondered how he would ease her into that thought as he got in the car and turned on the heater for her, smiling at her as he drove her home.

_Hold them tight and don't forget  
Differences are differences  
All the dreams in life that you've been letting go  
Blink and then you'll miss them and you'll never know_

This could be the moment that turns into a lifetime.

:::::

Sorry for complete lack of updates but I have had some stress. My bf got into a pretty serious car accident. Six cracked ribs, internal bleeding, surgery and minor burns and cuts from airbags and glass later he's still in the hospital.

More to come, soonish.


	49. Chapter 49

_Sorry for the lack of updates as of late. Bf's car accident took a turn for the worse and there were complications with his surgeries and recoveries. But he is finally out of the hospital and I am happy to actually not be sleep deprived now. On a brighter note, I attend a community college (to save money since I support myself) and I got into all the four year universities I applied to for transfer! (sigh of relief)_

::::

Derek walked Meredith to her door after they pulled up to her house, she thanked him f or the interesting night, not ready to call being judged b hoards of girls a fun thing yet. Derek smiled and nodded, hoping to reiterate to her that this evening's activities were not a true reflection of him. Or at least he would have liked to hope that the girl's who refused to speak to Meredith did it out of insecurity and not unbridled hate for a girl that they'd never met.

"I'll see you later," Meredith said as she headed inside of her seemingly safe house. It was warm and full of live, at least her life and infinitely warmer and friendlier feeling then that party. She couldn't get over how catty the other girls were with her. She decided that Cristina was by before the best person she had ever met, she was the exception and not the rule when it came to female personalities. She hadn't kissed Derek goodnight because she didn't want to be influenced by him as she started to think about the night. He was a good kisser, a great kisser…heck the best damn kisser by her book as he was the only boy she had ever kissed, but she wasn't sure if she was ready for the world that surrounded him. She still had to think it over, tonight was a test of the waters and she had survived the shark tank that was teenage girls, she considered herself proud.

Meredith hopped in the shower and tried not to think of her predicament. Would it be harder to step into the unknown world high school fame or harder to walk away when she was already so deeply invested in Derek?

Meredith took a shower in the dark, not wanting to disturb the comfortable darkness of the upstairs; the moon illuminated the hallways enough for her. The advantage of being alone most of the time meant that she didn't have to consider others when she did things like this.

Meredith made her shower a quick one, collapsing into her warm bed as soon as humanly possible, she fell asleep on top of the covers, as always.

:::

Derek pulled up to his driveway, parking in the second two car garage, his parents parked in the first two car garage. His garage was empty; there was a skeleton of a car next to his, another classic that Derek's dad and he were working on. It was their project, much like his Porsche had been before. Somewhere between junior high and summers with friends, they lost track of time and stopped working on it.

Derek stepped out of his car and leaned against the frame of it. Tonight was a reminder to him that family was the most important thing in his life. His guy friends were great for the most part and he was grateful but tonight was a bitter reminder of how much he had given up to be there. He loved working on cars with his dad; it was the one activity for the only two men in the house to enjoy. Derek vowed to himself that he would ask his dad to start working on the car again, no matter what he did, he didn't want to drift apart from his family in any way, he thought to himself. This thought was reinforced by Ellis Grey, who was the living, breathing example of a cold heart- his family was warm. He embraced them, and he hoped that Meredith would too.

Derek headed inside, sitting down in front of the computer, researching parts for the incomplete car in the garage.

Derek headed upstairs later then usual, taking a shower and falling into bed. He slept easily, he was exhausted. He set his alarm clock for 7 in the morning, prepared to take laps in his family's pool in the early morning. He needed stress free time, and the pool was his escape.

_Your dream reality  
It puts you down to sleep  
And shelters your lovely eyes  
So that you cannot see  
The rain as it comes pouring down  
Or the clouds that stain the rising sun  
I try so hard, but still I come undone  
If you could only see  
What I see_

::::

In the morning Meredith, woke up with the sunrise, ready to take on the day, sure in the fact that it would be better then yesterday. She traded in her pajamas for shorts and a tank top, putting on running shoes and her hair into a pony tail; she was ready to take on the day. An avoider by nature, running came easily to Meredith.

:

Derek dove into his pool, not coming up for a breath until he swam two lengths, gasping as he came up. He was ready to get lost in the laps, and the easy monotony of swimming.

:

Meredith stopped at the top of the stairs of her walkway, lifting her leg onto the railing and stretching before she headed down the street, headphones in her ear, music blasting.

:

_Just make believe  
It's anything you want to see  
And close the windows love  
As the sky begins to bleed  
Just shut your eyes and lock up tight  
I pray you fall asleep  
As a million years go drifting by  
And you dream reality  
Yes you dream, you dream and dream_

_::::_

More updates to come soonish. I'm getting back into the groove (barring any complications). Hopefully I haven't lost many readers.

Comments are appreciated,

Vivian


	50. Chapter 50

Meredith and Derek both ended their work outs with showers. It was a relaxing way to start the day, and peaceful one too. Derek found it calming to wake up before everyone else. He liked to be able to start the day off early, especially when it involved swimming.

Meredith too, felt relaxed after her run; she ran about four miles as the music blasted in her ears. She liked having the music loud; it did a good job of drowning out the rest of the world.

Meredith had a cool shower and a change of clothing, followed by breakfast and then vegging out on the couch for a few moments before her door bell rang.

Meredith looked at the clock, as if it would provide an answer for who was at the door. She checked herself, she was wearing a faded tank top and old nearly acid washed faded jeans with holes on the back pocket and at the knees; she thought she could have a lazy day, she shrugged-_nothing like dressing to impress_, she joked with herself before getting up from the couch.

_Please don't be Derek,_ she plead with herself. If there was any justice in this world it wouldn't be him. If it were, she would forget what had happened the night before and fall back into unconditionally wanting to be with him. She still was unsure if living with his friends was worth his company. _Of course it is,_ she told herself, not sure if she could give Derek up, even if she wanted to.

Meredith made her way slowly to the front door, avoidance a routine by this point her life.

"Hurry your ass up!" she heard in a familiar female's tone of voice. Meredith smiled as she skipped to the door. It was Cristina, not Derek, she breathed a sigh of relief as she opened the door.

"Finally," Cristina said as she walked past Meredith and into her living room. Meredith smiled, it was great that she was here and although her entrance might have seemed to rude to some, Meredith liked it. Cristina was at home in her home and never felt uncomfortable. Meredith liked this.

Meredith eyed Cristina's attire- she was wearing a dress for once in her life.

"Cristina, _what_ are you wearing?" Meredith asked as she sat down on the couch next to Cristina.

"Oh shut up," Cristina said with an eye roll.

"Not your doing I assume," Meredith said, stifling a laugh at the sight of Cristina in a dress. It wasn't floral or full of ruffles but it was more feminine than most of her attire. Her polo shirt dress was preppy and navy blue.

Cristina raised her eyebrows, in a face that suggested _are you freaking kidding me?_

"No, it was my mother's doing. _Cristina, nice young ladies wear dresses out of the house," _Cristina said, impersonating her mother's slight Korean accent perfectly.

"You wore a dress to see me?" Meredith asked, feigning excitement. "I feel under dressed," she said with a laugh.

"I'm leaving now," Cristina said, getting up.

Meredith jumped up, "I'm just kidding, Cristina. Stay."

Cristina shrugged, "Fine, but I'm borrowing something with pant legs," she said as she headed up the stairs to Meredith's room.

Meredith smiled, "Fine," she said as she followed Cristina upstairs. "So what are we doing today?" She asked as Cristina grabbed a pair of jeans from Meredith's closet and a tshirt from her drawer, heading into her bathroom across the hall.

"I don't know," Cristina said from the bathroom as Meredith leaned against the frame of her bedroom's door.

"You feel like going out?" She asked as she bit her lower lip.

"Not entirely," Cristina said.

"Watch movies and order pizza?" Meredith asked, much happier with that idea.

"Yeah, sure. You can tell me tales of preppy parties," Cristina joked as she opened the door, her dress in hand.

"Let's not go there," Meredith thought as the headed down t he stairs.

Cristina laughed, "That bad?"

"Not bad, just not great."

"Well those aren't great people, what's to like?" Cristina asked as they headed for the couch.

"I don't know," Meredith said. "How is it that the guys are okay and descent but all the girls treat me like crap?"

"The girls treat you like crap because the guys _don't_. You're a threat to them, Mer. That's all they see."

"Joy," Meredith said as she turned on the TV, "Can we talk about something else?" She asked as she handed the remote to Cristina, letting her control what they watched.

Cristina looked at Meredith, "Don't let them get to you," she said as she flipped the channels.

"I know," Meredith said as she got up to make popcorn for them. _I grew up with Ellis Grey, I know rejection_, she thought as she popped some popcorn in the microwave.

Meredith's cell phone vibrated in her back pocket as she watched the popcorn bag twirl in the microwave.

She pulled her phone out; it was a text message from Derek,** Are you free today?** It read. Meredith pursed her lips, **No**, she wrote back and flipped her phone closed. She needed a day with Cristina, no distractions. Cristina would help her put things into perspective and if nothing else provide good company.

::::

Derek entered the house after his swim, catching his dad as he was about to go out the door for work

"Morning," Derek said as he towel dried his hair.

"Derek," Derek's father, Michael, said as he put on his jacket. "I saw you printed some papers up for the 1954 Jaguar XK…" he said, wondering what his son was up to.

"Yeah, that's what the car is in the garage right?" Derek asked, wondering if he had printed out pages for the wrong model.

"No, that's it alright."

"Can we start working on it again?" Derek asked as he wound the towel around his shoulders.

Michael's eyes lit up at his son's words, "Absolutely," he said as he patted his son's shoulder, heading out the door, "How about this weekend?"

Derek nodded, "Yeah, this weekend."

"Good, don't let that girl steal all your time," his father joked.

Derek laughed, "Her name's Meredith."

Michael nodded, "Bring her around sometime."

Derek followed his father to the garage for a moment. "Dad, how'd you know about her?" Derek asked, truly curious.

"Your mother," Michael said as he hopped into his car.

Derek nodded once; mother's knew everything he decided. _How did she know that he was seeing a girl?_ Derek asked himself as he closed the garage after his father pulled out.

Derek did want to bring Meredith around; he just didn't know when the right time was for that. He pulled out his phone to text Meredith, **Want to meet my parents tonight?**__Derek typed, quickly erasing it and replacing it with**Are you free tonight? **He typed as he headed up the stairs to his shower.

His phone vibrated back almost instantly. **No, **her reply read. Derek shook his head, _huh,_ he said. _Crap_, he thought, wondering what she was up to as he started the water for the shower.

_W__ell if I was in your position  
Id put down all my ammunition  
I'd wondered why'd it taken me so long  
But Lord knows that I'm not you  
And If I was I wouldn't be so cruel  
Cause waiting on love ain't so easy to do_

_::::_

Enjoy.

Work was crazy this weekend. We had so many people at the restaurant- it was insane. My feet are dead.

-Viv


	51. Chapter 51

"Don't text him," Cristina said as she popped a piece of popcorn in her mouth, she looked at Meredith with a look of annoyance.

"I wasn't going to," Meredith said, lying through her teeth.

They had gotten to Mystery Diagnosis shows before Cristina finally said something two hours later.

"You're staring a hole into that cell phone and I swear if you touch it again and put it down I will take the battery out."

Meredith nodded, taking the bowl of popcorn from Cristina and replacing the void in her hand with her cell phone. "I realize I look a little pathetic right now," Meredith admitted. She hadn't necessarily checked her phone or even turned on the back light but every few minutes she would grab it in an effort to summon up the courage to text Derek but she ended up putting the phone back on the couch next to her.

'A little?" Cristina asked with an eye roll.

Meredith bit her lower lip, hoping Cristina wouldn't detail just how pathetic she seemed in this situation. It wasn't like Meredith to wait around for a phone call or text or to check her phone often either for that matter.

"Fine," Meredith sighed, "a lot. I told him I was too busy today."

Cristina took the remote and turned off the TV.

"So? Did you hurt McDreamy's feelings or something?" Cristina joked.

Meredith shook her head, "no, but the party last night was…definitely not my scene. I think he thinks those girls scared me off."

"Well they weren't exactly nice to you," Cristina pointed out.

Meredith nodded, "Yeah, they're gems," she said with sarcasm.

"You can always see him later, Mer, you know that."

"yeah, I just hope he doesn't think I'm mad."

Cristina sighed, "if he does then he doesn't know you well enough and if he does and decides that that means you can't handle his preppy pompous world then he can walk off into the sunset with same faceless girl in a mini skirt."

Meredith laughed, it was blunt and to the point and borderline offensive but it was exactly what she needed to hear to make her feel better. Cristina had a knack for figuring out the right thing to say Meredith in her times of need.

Cristina turned the TV back on as they watched another medical mystery show.

"Oohh," Cristina said pointing to the TV screen, "this is the one with the lady who has F.O.P. and the stupid doctor calls it chronic pain," Cristina said with a proud smile.

"I love this episode," Meredith concluded, "how weird would it be to see someone with F.O.P.?" Meredith asked, knowing how rare that disease in fact was.

"That'll never happen," Cristina added, always the realist, "that disease is so incredibly rare, it's a once in a lifetime disease," she added.

"Crap on my parade," Meredith said jokingly, "one day we will, I don't care what you say," Meredith said as she relaxed into the couch.

"Not crapping on your parade, that's reality Meredith," Cristina said in a serious tone, taking on the tone that her step father, an oral surgeon, often took at home. He was loving enough to count as a father figure but most of all he was the realist, who would point out absolute worst case scenarios instead of dwelling on the what if's in life. Cristina surprisingly took after him, Meredith had always noticed. Cristina's mother liked to sugar coat things whereas Cristina preferred things rough around the edges and bluntly honest.

After two more episodes of medical shows and an empty bowl of popcorn Cristina decided it was time she should leave. She went upstairs to change back into her horrendous dress and head home.

"Oh yeah," Cristina said as she came out of the bathroom, fully dressed in her original clothing, "here's your cell phone back," Cristina said, handing Meredith back her phone. She had confiscated it earlier when Meredith was staring at it for too long.

"Right," Meredith said, she had forgotten that she was missing it after an hour.

"Wish me luck with my mother," Cristina said as she scrunched the waist of her dress.

Meredith raised her eyebrows, "Are you _trying _to piss her off?" she asked, noting the newly formed wrinkles on Cristina's dress.

Cristina shrugged, "No. No wrinkles mean I didn't wear it. It has to look believable," Cristina pointed out as she walked towards the stair case.

Meredith nodded, not thinking of that, she didn't have a mother to hide things from.

"You amaze me, Cristina Yang," Meredith said as she headed down after her.

Cristina smiled, "I know," she said in her somewhat cocky and confident attitude. Cristina was always self assured even if she was bullshitting her way in something.

Meredith locked the door behind Cristina as she went to go wash the dishes they had made in the few hours she was over. They had ordered a pizza earlier in the day, and finished it off by themselves. Somehow though, hours later, she was hungry again.

Meredith put her phone next to the sink as she washed a few dishes.

She finished up quickly as she grabbed her phone. There were no new messages or calls. She was sure Derek was busy with his own thing but deep down inside she was wondering whether or not he had completely given up on her. She let out a deep breath as she texted Derek, "If you're up for it, we could watch a movie or something," she texted to him. Something vague and general with no lines for friendship or romance, _nice_, Meredith thought to herself- she couldn't be a bigger avoider if she tried.

Meredith sat down on the counter, lightly kicking her feet against the cabinets as she waited for a response from Derek.

Her phone buzzed minutes later, startling her, Meredith rolled her eyes at her own idiocy as she flipped her phone open. "Yeah, I'll walk over in a few…lady's choice." He said with a smiley face. Meredith nodded as she headed over to the DVD collection in the living room and hunted for the perfect movie to watch.

_Too scary. Too sad. Too childish. Too sexual. _She said to herself as she scanned the titles in front of her…by the time she decided on a title, the doorbell rang. She popped in the DVD and answered the door, forgetting that she was wearing her laziest clothing. Meredith shrugged, _oh well_ she thought. She opened the door to see Derek in worn out jeans and a faded tshirt. She smiled to herself, "Hey," she said as she let him in.

"Hey yourself," Derek said with a smile. "Your plans cleared up?" he asked looking at her attire.

"Yeah, I found some extra time,"

"Good," Derek said with a smile, "I'm happy to have gotten time with you at all," he joked with her.

"Oh well you know, I was out shopping with all those girls from the party…yeah we were giving each other makeovers and trying on a montage of hats to Brown Eyed Girl," Meredith joked as they made their way to the living room.

Derek laughed a bit, realizing that that would never be a reality.

Meredith pointed to her outfit, "Clearly, I got the best one," she joked as she sat down.

"I like it," Derek joked back.

"Yes, I think one of the girls called it hobo-chic," Meredith joked as she pressed play on the DVD.

Derek grabbed the box from the coffee table, it was a movie unfamiliar to him.** Moonstruck**, he read out loud.

"It's a classic," Meredith said with a beaming smile.

"Never heard of it," Derek said looking at her.

Meredith opened her mouth in feigned surprise, "well it's going to knock your socks of Derek Shepherd."

"It has Cher in it?" Derek asked as he looked at the cast list.

Meredith snatched the box from his hands, "Don't mock, she's brilliant in this," Meredith said. This was one of her favorite movies of all time, she was going to gauge his reaction to it and judge him for it even though she would try not to.

Derek smiled, "Fine, open mind here," Derek said as he leaned back and watched Meredith select play. He was glad she had come around, he was well aware that she could feel uninvited in his circle of friends and that she may never want to see him again. Meredith may have told Derek it was fine, but Mark told Derek this morning that he shouldn't take her words at face value. He wasn't going to get into details about why, but Derek trusted Mark's opinion.

"I'm glad you invited me," Derek said with a smile.

Meredith moved closer to him on the couch, "Yeah," she said as she leaned back into the couch, she was glad she invited him too. He was in no way like those girls at the party, she just needed to be reminded of that.

_And be near,  
Just for the moment,  
Stay here,  
Never go home_.

:::::::

More to come.

Viv


	52. Chapter 52

"I didn't know any girl could eat that much" Derek declared as he sat back on the couch, having disposed of all the trash on the coffee table. They had watched one of Meredith's favorite movies and to Derek's surprise he actually enjoyed it more then he would like to admit. He wasn't one for romantic comedies but this movie was different to him, their love story had a sense of realism to it, it was a refreshing kind of movie compared to the ones he saw his sisters watch and cry in front of on a monthly basis.

"Are you jealous or something?" Meredith asked as she came back from the kitchen having just placed their plates in the sink. The movie was interrupted with growling from Meredith's stomach and they decided to order some take out food. Derek was hungry too, but the prospect of staying and spending more time with Meredith was an offer he couldn't have refused even if he had just eaten.

"Impressed if nothing else," Derek said with a smile as Meredith sat on the couch next to him. She tucked one leg underneath her as she stared at the credits on the film.

"Well, I'm sorry if I can't be one of your rice cake eating friends…I care about what I eat in the sense that it should have more than 10 calories. I mean if you want something sugar free, fat free and carb free then have some freaking water," Meredith said.

Derek fought a smile, she was cute when she ranted.

Although the evening seemed simple and intimate in that they would get to spend some time alone, Meredith surprised Derek by inviting Cristina over to come eat with them. Since she lived right next door and had a strict Korean mother who demanded she be home by a certain hour, she had to leave a little after she had arrived. Derek didn't even know that she was coming over but he figured that after Meredith made t he call for food she made one for her friend as well.

Derek knew they were neighbors and thought nothing of it at first, he hadn't realized that their hangout had turned into something else.  
Derek ran his hand through his hair, letting out an inaudible groan.

"You ordered enough food for eight people," he reminded her.  
Meredith nodded, understanding where this conversation was headed and wanting to avoid it as much as possible, it was her nature. "Well, with me it's down to five," she said.

Derek nodded back, mirroring her actions, "And with me, down to two," he said.

"Cristina came over for the last two," Meredith said casually.

"We could have ordered less," Derek offered, wanting to hear her real reason for inviting Cristina, without pushing her.  
"Takes the fun out of it, besides Cristina needs to eat too," Meredith said, biting her lower lip, _yeah, I suck at lying_, she told herself.

"I know," Derek said, denying Cristina food would be cruel, so he wasn't going to argue that point.

"That is all," Meredith said confidently, _better, _she told herself, as far as the lying went.  
"Interesting," Derek said as he raised his eyebrows at her, trying to evoke a response from her.

"What is?" Meredith asked, shrugging.

"You think we need a chaperone?"  
Meredith scoffed, "I don't."

"Well, you invited one."

"She's my friend, not my mother."  
"What are you afraid to be alone with me?" Derek asked as he crossed his arms across his chest.

"She's not a buffer, or whatever you think she was," Meredith tried denying the fact that she had in fact invited Cristina to act as one.

"So if I invited Mark it wouldn't be a buffer?" Derek asked, genuinely curious as to what she would say in response.

"Mark is your best friend, Cristina is mine. And she happens to live next door; Mark would have to drive to get here..."

"Well then maybe we should invite both," he mocked.  
Meredith rolled her eyes, feigning annoyance. _Crap,_ she thought to herself, _damn him for being assertive or whatever_, she thought to herself.

"Why don't you want to be alone with me?" Derek asked as he uncrossed his arms and leaned towards Meredith.

Meredith opened her mouth to say something and closed it back quickly, _what do I say? _ She wondered to herself.

"I don't know," she said quietly.

"You don't know?" Derek asked, wondering if he had heard her right. He thought her answer would be _yes, I do want to be alone with you_. Not _no, or I don't know_, even.  
"I don't know Derek, maybe it's cause we're not supposed to be friends according to every girl in that room last night, or maybe I'm bad at this…but we kissed and it's not like I do that a lot…I didn't kiss a lot of guys…maybe I've only kissed one," she said as she played with a hole on the knee of her jeans.

"Right." Derek said, not knowing where she was going.

"It means something to me…maybe," She added with a little uncertainty.

"Maybe it meant something to me to," he said with a smile, trying to ease her nervous mood.

"I don't know what to do now, because you say all these things and we kiss and then last night happens or maybe I'm crazy but something is supposed to happen between us and…I can't deal with everyone rooting for me to fail…not that I don't know what that feels like…I love being friends with you and I'd rather have you as that then nothing at all…or if that at all, I don't want to be miserable because of a few vindictive girls," Meredith said, letting out a deep breath as she finished venting and ranting to Derek.

Derek raised his eyebrows, trying to process everything she had just said, _word vomit,_ Mark always called it when people ranted.

_Somebody do  
Somebody do  
Somebody do you wrong  
Don't let 'em kill  
Don't let 'em kill  
Don't let 'em kill your soul  
So, I keep on shuffling on and on  
'Cause it's all the same to me_

"I sounded like an idiot, any scenario in my head didn't end that way, I assure you," Meredith said as she finally looked up at Derek, trying to read his face.

"Me either," Derek said, almost inaudibly, _was she dumping him?_ He asked himself.

"I can't…I don't…I don't know what I'm doing. You're going to break my heart."

Derek's eyes widened, "What?!?" he asked surprised.

Meredith shrugged, "It's true. I know it, you know but still I kissed you..." _and went out with you_, she added in her head.

Derek opened his mouth to say something, cut off at once by Meredith.

"There's nothing to say to it." Meredith said, sure of herself this time.

"Of course there is…Meredith that's crazy!"

"You can't predict the future any better then I can," she reminded him.

"If they can't accept you then I can't accept them." Derek said, about the few friends he had (all female), who seemed hell bent on making Meredith feel out of place.

"I'm not asking you to do that Derek," Meredith said.

"I know." He said as she put his hand on top of hers.

Meredith looked down at the hole in her jeans yet again, avoiding his eyes.

_And it's all I live for  
The air I breathe  
So it's all the same to me  
Yes, it's all the same to me  
Well, it's all the same to me_

:::::

Sorry to leave it hanging like this, more to come.

Enjoy,

Viv.


	53. Chapter 53

_"If they can't accept you then I can't accept them." Derek said, about the few friends he had (all female), who seemed hell bent on making Meredith feel out of place._

_"I'm not asking you to do that Derek," Meredith said._

_"I know." He said as she put his hand on top of hers._

_Meredith looked down at the hole in her jeans yet again, avoiding his eyes._

"What's the problem then?" Derek asked, trying to dig them out of the hole Meredith just made.

"_You're_ my problem Derek," she said as she looked up at him and half smiled. _I'm hooked on you,_ she thought.

Derek didn't know whether to take this as a good thing or not.

Meredith cleared her throat, a nervous tick she had since forever.

"Stop talking," Derek said calmly, with a soft smile.

Derek raised his eyebrows

"Well you're my problem too, then" Derek said with a half shrug.

Meredith opened her mouth, "What?" she asked, _the cute mocking thing. How does he manage to make light of everything?_ She asked herself.

"You pull me into your life and then toss me out like I'm garbage?" Derek said,feigning pain by putting his hand on his chest, "_I_ can't do this…just look beyond the catty girls, please."

Meredith sighed, "Okay…" _they can't be that bad, _she said to herself, forcing the lie.

Derek kissed her on the cheek and sprang off the couch.

"You're leaving?" Meredith asked.

"No, _we_ are leaving." Derek said as he waited for Meredith to get off the couch.

"Where are we going?" Meredith asked.

"To get some fresh air," Derek said, "I happen to be a fan of it."

"Hashing out the inner outdoorsman in you?" Meredith teased.

Derek shook his head no, "It's a ploy to make you forget we were just having a serious conversation," Derek said earnestly.

"I'm all for the avoidance and the running away," she joked, even though it described her to a T.

"Well good then," he said as he took Meredith jacket off the banister at the bottom of the stair case and helped her put her arms in it as he held it up for her.

Meredith smiled as he opened the front door for her as well.

"Where are you taking me?"

Derek, "we're going to walk. It's a beautiful night, and it's not raining right now, which is a miracle."

Meredith smiled as she locked the door behind them, taking Derek's hand as she turned back to face him- it was a small sign to Derek that things were going to be okay, that she trusted him and that more then anything he was the one person that mattered in this equation the most. Even though there were catty and hateful girls who were hell bent on making Meredith feel as out of place as possible, Derek was the silver lining in all of it. She couldn't help but remember his phrase from earlier, "_You pull me into your life and then toss me out like I'm garbage",_ he had asked her half jokingly. This phrase rang true in her ears as well. If she walked away from Derek now, it would be like being ripped and pulled away, a struggle and a fight to leave rather then a voluntary submission. As much as she didn't want to admit it, he had sucked her into his life too.

Meredith pulled Derek in the direction of the park in their neighborhood, the same one they had been days before to play football, the same one she ran to nearly every morning. Derek smiled, lucky to count himself in her company, his life would never be the same, he knew for sure.

_She hides true love.  
En su bolsillo  
She's got a halo around her finger.  
Around you._

You know that I love you boy.  
Hot like Mexico, rejoice.  
At this point I gotta choose,  
nothing to loose.  


_:::_

Kinda short, I know but my finals are coming up and I am seriously drowning in school work and picking up extra shifts at work too.

I'll update soonish, as I find it a nice break from excessive essay writing lol.

Enjoy,

Viv


	54. Chapter 54

"Where are we going?" Derek asked, echoing Meredith's same question from before. He and she both knew the way to the park like the back of their hand but where Derek had ventured only to the football fields, baseball fields and basketball courts of the park, Meredith had dragged him to the back corner, to the jungle gym. Admittedly, he hadn't been there in a long time. It had been a long time since he had favored the monkey bars over playing ball with his friends.

"The swings…?" Meredith asked, as if Derek's question had been a stupid one.

Derek nodded, "Right," he said, as if he had known all along.

Meredith let go of his hand to take a seat on one of the swings, she kicked off her shoes as she sat down and squished her feet into the sand. Derek smiled at the sight, she seemed so carefree when they weren't talking about his friends.

"You going to watch or swing?" Meredith asked jokingly.

"Swing," Derek said pointing to the swing he was about to sit on as Meredith began swinging back and forth.

"It's like riding a bike," Meredith joked; she noticed that Derek seemed a little of out place on the swings.

"It's been a while," Derek said, feeling a lot older then his age at that moment.

Meredith shrugged, "You never outgrow the swings," she said with confidence.

Meredith closed her eyes as she leaned back while swinging back and forth, feeling the cool breeze of the summer night on her face, she kicked her legs back and forth in order to continue to swing as she leaned further back.

Derek found himself focusing on Meredith rather then his own swinging; when Meredith sat back up she noticed his failed attempt at swinging, "Or maybe it's not like riding a bike…" she said quietly.

Derek finally got into gear as he started to swing his legs like he did when he was younger.

Derek stared at the sky for a moment too, noticing the amount of stars in the sky and appreciating the cool breeze on his face as well.

"It's the only memory I have," Meredith said out of the blue, interrupting their comfortable silence that they had.

Derek stopped staring at the sky and turned his head towards Meredith, a confused look on his face.

"What?" he asked her, not sure he had heard her right.

"It's really the only memory I have of my mother- the park, that is. It was the Merry go round on the far side, but it's all I remember of spending time with her."

Derek nodded; he fought the urge to say I'm sorry, Meredith wouldn't allow that, she had already broken him of that habit.

"Is that why you come here?" he asked her as she continued to swing higher and higher while he remained still at the bottom, having stopped swinging as soon as he spoke.

"I don't know," Meredith said as she shook her head, "maybe that's why I like jogging this way," she joked.

"Back to the good ol' days," Derek joked, nothing with her mother was ever good, Derek had learned before.

"Back to…something…" Meredith thought. "Isn't it sad how when we were younger all we wanted to do was grow up?" she asked Derek as she swung higher and higher, Derek was about to tell her to stop, or she'd surely go all the way around the fixture, doing a full 360 revolution.

"What the hell were we thinking?" Meredith asked as she pumped her legs one last time and jumped off the swing, catching a lot air and barely landing on her feet. She had to use her hands to get up, wiping the sand off her hands on the back of her pants as she stared back at Derek.

_You' re not a victim,  
you're more like a winner  
And you're not defeat  
you're more like a queen_

Derek looked dumbfounded at her carefree attitude. "We always want what we can't have, it's human nature." Derek said, answering Meredith's question. Meredith smiled, "Yeah, I guess so," she said dismissively, pretending that she didn't know what that was like. _Oh how I know,_ Meredith thought. _ All I want is time, with…my mom, or maybe even dad…but I can't _she thought to herself as she passed Derek on her way to the monkey bars. She jumped up to reach the bar and made her way across the bars with fluid motion.

Derek got up off the swing and followed her. Surely he could keep with her on this, at least he thought so. _Guys have more upper body strength_, Derek thought to himself as he kept pace with Meredith. The playground was decked out with three kinds of monkey bars, rings, bars, and triangle shaped ones as well. Meredith swung from one fixture to another, rounding the corners as if she had done this before- Derek as sure she had.

Meredith laughed as she could hear Derek keeping up with her, "Can't swing but you can do this?" she asked.

Derek laughed, "I was distracted before," he offered as an excuse to her.

Meredith rolled her eyes, even though Derek was behind her and could not see it.

"Sure," she said sarcastically as she suddenly turned around to face Derek, he stopped midswing and faced her as she stopped swinging as well.

Meredith stared at his eyes, and down to his lips, and back to his eyes, Derek smiled, thinking she was going to kiss him. Meredith casually swung past him, her lips inches from his as she laughed in his ear, "Sucker," she said as she headed back the other way on the bars, she had beat him yet again.

Derek shook his head, defeated, "That's cheating!" he joked, as he turned around to catch up to her, but she was nowhere to be seen. Derek let go of the circular bars he had in his hand as he looked around. He heard her giggling only seconds later, looking up and over to the flat bars they had started out on, she was casually sitting on top of them, her legs hanging off.

"You are very easily distracted Derek," Meredith said, fighting a smile.

"You play dirty," Derek joked.

"I play like a girl, don't you have female friends?" Meredith asked.

"They don't play dirty, the play full on evil," Derek said as he stood below Meredith, ready to join her at the top.

Meredith smiled as she put her hands on the bar and jumped off. Derek caught her before her balance wavered.

"Thanks," she said as Derek's hands lingered on her waist.

Meredith didn't fight his hold on her, she breathed a sigh of relief that he was there with her.

Meredith leaned in and kissed him softly, his hold on her tightening as she did.

Meredith pulled away before Derek did, and smiled.

"Race you back," she whispered.

Derek barely heard the words before Meredith had grabbed her shoes and started running across the grass towards her house. Derek took a few seconds to digest what had happened, she had kissed him, it was a good kiss, and now they were racing…correction, she was royally kicking his ass. Derek ran after Meredith, gaining on her as she reached midfield.

"Can't beat me Derek," she said as she giggled.

Derek shook his head, he didn't know anyone who could run that fast, let alone talk while they did so.

Her giggles were interrupted by shrieks as the sprinklers in the field came on, causing her to run faster as her clothes and hair got drenched. Derek ran faster as well, the slippery ground giving him a disadvantage.

His clothes and hair were soaking wet as well, but he didn't care as he chased Meredith onto the sidewalk and down their street.

Derek caught up to Meredith just as they were about to reach her house, her bare feet were harder to run in on the sidewalk.

Meredith laughed as she plopped down on the grass in front of her house, out of breath.

Derek sat down next to her sprawled out body.

"I beat you," she said, loudly, "I beat you," she said, turning her phrase into a sing song. "I think it's a theme between you and me," she joked.

"You had a head start."

Meredith laughed at his excuses, "I'm better at running."

Derek nodded, "You're definitely a runner," he said, not knowing full well how much she was, in every sense of the word.

Their heavy breathing was interrupted by a car pulling into her driveway, it was a silver S series Mercedes, and it was definitely not her mother's car.

_Love  
It makes you so much stronger (stronger)  
It makes you so much wiser (wiser)  
In each tear (in each tear)  
And You're so close to your dreams and no dreams  
No mistake, no heartbreak  
can't take away you're meant to be_

:::::

Sorry to leave you hanging.

I have one more final tomorrow and then I'm done for the semester!

Yay!

Enjoy,

Vivian


	55. Chapter 55

Meredith held her hand up to Derek, interrupting him before he could even speak up and ask who the mystery car belonged to. He knew her mother drove a big European car but if he remembered correctly, it was dark green and not silver.

"If I asked you to leave, Derek, would you?" Meredith asked, with a slightly panicked look.

Derek didn't like the look on Meredith's face. _Who's inside the car?_ He wondered to himself. _And why does she look so panicked?_ Derek asked himself.

Meredith prayed the culprit wouldn't get out of their car and that maybe they were already inside…anything in order to avoid introducing Derek into _that _part of her life.

"Probably not," Derek said, finally answering Meredith's question as he glanced between the car and Meredith.

Meredith nodded, _I figured_, Meredith said to herself as she walked up her driveway, hoping to find the car empty.

She saw the shadow In the driver's seat and immediately felt like she wanted to disappear. _Why?_ She questioned the cool air and the dark sky as she rolled her eyes.

The doctor opened the door of his Mercedes, looking as nervous as Meredith as well. He was tall, dark and handsome but somehow down to earth and father like- not that Meredith knew what that felt like. This man had been a figure in her life from a young age, a constant figure at the hospital that her mother loved so much and somehow a crucial element in her parent's divorce. How many times had she heard the name Richard Webber being uttered as her parents argued? She couldn't keep count that was for sure. Her father had taken issue with Ellis' relationship with this not-so-mystery man. Meredith still didn't know how she felt about his presence. It was clear he and her mother were not simply coworkers anymore, as they masqueraded to be so long ago. The wedding ring on Richard's finger did confuse Meredith though.

"Uh…Meredith", Richard said in his usual tone, a cross between a father and an acquaintance.

"Dr. Webber", Meredith said, trying to plaster a smile on her face, "My mother's not home," Meredith said matter of factly.

Derek looked at the cool interaction going on from a few feet back but chose not to say anything. This man wasn't threatening and he didn't look like he would ever harm Meredith. He didn't understand Meredith's reaction to the car's presence.

"Oh, well…she left the hospital some time ago…I was sure I could find her here."

Meredith shook her head no and crossed her arms, "Double shifts or maybe even a triple squeezed in there sometimes…My mother has a love affair with that hospital," Meredith said, without realizing the connotation to her remark. Her smile immediately faded from her faced as she felt a little embarrassed.

Richard forced an awkward smile, 'Well, it was nice seeing you Meredith," he said as he glanced at Derek and back to Meredith before getting back in his car and pulling out of the driveway, taking his eyes off of the rear view mirror in order to glance at Derek for a moment and then continuing to back out of the driveway.

Meredith waited until the tail lights of his car were at the end of the street.

Derek raised his eyebrows. "Friend of your mothers?" he asked as he crossed the driveway towards her.

"Something like that," Meredith said as she forced a smile yet again.

Derek nodded.

"It's getting cold, I should get inside," Meredith said as she kissed Derek on the cheek and ran up the stairs to her house, closing the door and locking it behind her before Derek even realized that she was gone. She had a knack for disappearing like no one else.

Derek kicked a rock in front of his foot as he watched the light in Meredith's room turn on, he headed down the driveway and towards his own house.

_Richard Webber_, he thought to himself, _Who is he? _ He still wondered, since Meredith had given no indication that she wanted to explain, he did the only thing he could do at the moment, he got home and sat down in front of the computer and Googled his name. Nothing out of the ordinary came up, Richard Webber was a promising young doctor involved in several research projects and case studies, including AIDs research. Nothing to indicate that he was a bad person or that his presence was not wanted.

Derek sighed as he shut off the computer and headed towards his room. The internet didn't satisfy his curiosity, he wondered if Meredith would.

_Yeah turn down the love songs that you hear  
'Cause you can't avoid the sentiment  
That echoes in your ear  
Saying love will stop the pain  
Saying love will kill the fear  
Do you believe  
You must believe  
When there's no love in town  
This new century keeps bringing you down  
All the places you have been  
Trying to find a love supreme  
A love supreme_

_:::::_

Sighs of relief, school is over and I got into my top choices for transferring.

Lots of stress because I get to move almost 150 miles away, with no place to live.

Boyfriend took me to Europe for June- thus the lack of updates.

Enjoy this one,

More to come soon, I hope.

-Vivian


	56. Chapter 56

Meredith had kissed Derek on the cheek and rushed up the stairs to her front door as soon as she could. She didn't want to stand around and explain who that man was. Who exactly was Richard Webber? Derek would ask, she was sure- had she stuck around to hear it. Meredith Grey: professional avoider, her tombstone would read she thought to herself as she paced her room, wondering what she would say when he would pose that very question. As far as family lives were concerned, Meredith's was definitely unique and different. Was she ready to explain that to Derek? How much could he take? She asked herself as she kicked her shoes off. She peeled her soaking wet clothes off and put on a warm pair of sweats and a t-shirt. Although it was summer in Seattle, there was virtually no warmth tonight. Meredith shook her head as she chewed the nail of her thumb, a nervous habit she could never truly kick, she wondered to herself if Cristina was still up and if she should call her. She wanted to talk to someone about how absolutely awful it was to see Richard Webber but Meredith decided against it as she turned on the TV in her room and turned off the lights, deciding instead to try and fall asleep. If she didn't talk to anyone about it, she could forget about her family issues for a few hours she decided happily as she got lost in denial.

:::

Morning came sooner then Meredith had liked. Her hair was plastered to her forehead and the sun was blaring in through the blinds that she forgot to close. Only in Seattle, Meredith thought, can it be raining and the sun still shines brightly. She shrugged as she rubbed her eyes and made her way to the bathroom.

:::

Derek woke up from his sleep groggy, per usual. He jumped in the shower to wake himself up and start the day. He headed down the stairs afterwards, the smell of his mother's French toast bringing a smile to his face.

"Derek," his mom said without turning around from the stove. She knew it was her only son, he was always the first to come downstairs- so much like his father, she always thought.

"Mom," Derek said with a smile as he opened the refrigerator and grabbed the orange juice.

"Use a glass Derek," she reminded him again without even looking at him.

"You know mom, sometimes I think you're a witch," Derek joked, "you should play the lottery," he joked as he got out a glass from the cabinet and stole a piece of French toast off of the plate full of them.

"I am a witch," his mom joked back, "that's how I know everything," she said with a wink.

Derek nodded.

"Including when my son has a lot on his mind…" she added with no apparent end in sight for that conversation. She was letting Derek take the reigns. He could deny it, deny that he had something on his mind and just go forward with his day as if nothing had happened or he could confide in his mother who seemed to eerily know everything.

"Was that a question?" Derek asked, going with the vague route.

His mom shook his head. "Just an observation," she added quietly, not wanted to pull him into a conversation he didn't want to have.

"You ever feel like if you don't talk about something…it'll just…I don't know…give you an ulcer or something?" Derek asked as he inhaled his French toast.

His mother raised his eyebrows at the serious tone that their conversation had taken.

"Talking about things is healthy," she said, not sure who was getting the hypothetical ulcer in Derek's mind.

"Yeah," Derek said, as he downed his orange juice, his mind wandering to Meredith and the events of the night before.

"Is there something you wanted to say?" Derek's mom asked as she put down the spatula and faced her son. He didn't seem like he wanted to say anything, nor did he seem truly torn up. Derek had a way of speaking his mind, so she was left wondering who he was really talking about.

"No," Derek said casually as he grabbed another piece of French toast.

"Some people are just not like that," Derek mused, "…don't like to talk about things." He said as he looked at his mother for approval, did she agree, he wondered.

"Some people don't like to share," she conceded, "but you have to decide if you're okay with that."

Derek nodded, "What do you mean?"

"Well Derek, would you be okay with someone who didn't confide in you? Who could take a big issue and just drop it like nothing is the matter. You have to understand where they're coming from and why they're doing it so that maybe, one day you can be the one they confide in."

Derek smiled, she had a way with words, that was for sure and she had the power to make problems seem smaller.

"Thanks mom," he said on his way out of the kitchen.

"Glad I can help," she said as she flipped the French toast on the griddle, quietly wondering to herself who Derek was talking about, knowing though that without a doubt it was a girl.

Before Derek could bound up the stairs to his room, the doorbell rang.

:::

Meredith had taken a shower in quiet solitude and gotten dressed in peace as well. The house was always quiet, unless she made noise. Meredith heard a noise from the kitchen and she looked out on the driveway from her window to see her mother's hunter green BMW parked in the driveway.

Meredith raised her eyebrows as she threw her hair into a ponytail and headed down the stairs.

Her mother was sitting on the bar stool and was visibly upset, there were tears in her eyes and Meredith didn't know what to say. She wasn't the kind of person you would freely walk up to and hug. Meredith didn't want to spook her mother and say anything.

"Mom," Meredith said, worry in her voice.

Ellis wiped her eyes as if nothing was the matter and held her head high.

"Yes, Meredith," Ellis asked, looking straight into the eyes of her daughter, striking some hesitation into Meredith.

"Is everything okay?" she asked as a preliminary question. It could be a patient, Meredith decided. A patient could have died and she could be upset about that. But she had a feeling that Richard's visit had more meaning then he let on.

"No," Ellis said as she grabbed her keys, "I'm late for work," she said as she walked past Meredith.

Meredith nodded, blindsided by seeing her mother cry. It was sight she had not seen since…forever.

_First thing I gotta do is try to face it  
But your voice keeps playing in my ear  
It just makes me crazy trying to fake it  
The true event's so bad, it's not what I wanna hear  
But I guess I gotta take it_

_::::_

More to come,

Vivian.

:)


	57. Chapter 57

Meredith shook her head in utter disbelief as she grabbed a mug from the cabinet and poured herself some coffee. It was rare that she wasn't the one to make the coffee. Usually on the rare occasion that her mother _did_ make coffee, she'd make just enough for a travel mug and leave the machine on by accident. Meredith was so used to being an after thought so this time she wondered why her mother had stuck around this morning so long. She was married to that hospital, the ties that bound her to Seattle Grace were unwavering and her dedication to her job made her a force to be reckoned with. She was strong and fearless, a cold hearted bitch, but resilient, so, Meredith wondered how strong the blow was that cracked her shell. Was it really Richard Webber? Did he show up yesterday to apologize and make things right? Why was he spending so much time with her mother when he in fact was married? And why did Ellis always smile when she was in his company?

All these questions were running through Meredith's mind as she slowly sipped her coffee. She dumped most of the contents down the drain as the taste was a bit off, and the coffee too strong for her taste. Ellis Grey ran on rocket fuel it seemed, what else would a weapon of mass destruction run on? Meredith joked to herself as she washed her mug. She grabbed a banana from the island in the kitchen and headed out the front door of her house. She knocked lightly on the door of the Yang house, hoping Cristina would answer. She waited for what seemed like an eternity before she heard foot steps from behind the door. They were loud and deliberate. Meredith pursed her lips, deciding that she must have awoken Cristina. _Crap,_ she thought to herself, and unhappy and groggy Cristina was not the one she was looking forward too.

"WHAT?" Cristina asked as she opened the door to see Meredith chipper and happy, a banana peel in her hand.

"You want to go for a run?" Meredith asked innocently. She needed some open air to think and let go of her thoughts. Mainly the thoughts that centered on what the hell was wrong with her mother.

"It's early Mer, really?" Cristina asked, with a look that begged Meredith to say no.

"Nevermind, go back to sleep," Meredith ceded.

Cristina nodded and didn't hesitate to close the door grimly and head back upstairs back to the comfort of her bed. She enjoyed sleep and couldn't understand how Meredith could be up so early and have any desire to go jogging.

Meredith shrugged and headed back inside to her own house. She went up to her room and decided to change. She would go jogging, she decided. She grabbed a zip front sports bra and some lycra shorts and put her hair up into a bun before heading down the stairs. She grabbed the arm band for her ipod and put her iPod on shuffle, sticking her head phones in as she walked down the street. She contemplated walking to Derek's and asking for company but she wasn't good company at the moment. All she wanted to do was blare her ipod and run until her legs felt like jelly.

:::

Derek answered the door, hoping to see a familiar face, just not the one he was looking at.

"Get your beauty sleep, princess?" Mark asked with a sly smile.

Derek nodded, "I try." He said, without asking why Mark was there. He would do this usually; drop by on occasion and convince Derek that they needed to go play baseball, apply for jobs or just hangout. Basically, whatever Mark wanted to do. Derek was like his surrogate brother.

"What'll it be today?" Derek asked.

"Well since you are in desperate need for male companionship," Mark teased Derek, he would never tease Derek about spending time with Meredith with any notes of seriousness attached, "we are going to go the gym."

Derek nodded, "Alright," he said as he left the door open and went upstairs to change into proper clothing. Mark made his way into Derek's kitchen, following the scent of Carolyn's French toast.

"Mark," she said with an easy smile, she felt like she was a mother to that boy, he was her favorite of Derek's friends, "joining us for breakfast?" she asked as she waved a spatula clad hand towards a plate full of French toast.

Mark smiled as breathed in the scent, "Well, maybe one," he said as he grabbed a piece and took a bite. "I'm taking Derek to the gym. I don't want him to be mistaken for one of the girls in school," he joked. Carolyn smiled.

"Enjoy the down time," Carolyn added, "Derek seems like something is on his mind," she added absent mindedly, thinking that their gym session would turn into Derek ranting.

"It must be a new feeling," Mark joked.

Carolyn rolled her eyes at his brazen humor.

Carolyn heard her son's footsteps near the door as he paused to put on shoes.

"Don't want to keep your daughter waiting," Mark joked further, he always joked that the sole man in the Shepherd house was Derek's dad.

Carolyn smiled, "Be careful Mark, one day it's going to get to him," she added, referring to his teasing.

Mark winked, "I don't think so," he said, referring to his size. He was always bigger then Derek in height and in muscle.

"One for the road?" Carolyn asked, offering him more breakfast, fully aware of the fact that no one cooked for him at home. The thing is that Mark never felt like he was charity or a worry to the Shepherds, Carolyn and Michael always made him feel welcome. It was the reason why he came back so many times. Derek had it so easy. He'd always think.

"Absolutely Mrs. Shepherd, tell your beautiful daughters I said hello," he added before grabbing some French toast and heading towards the front door.

"I'd rather keep them away from you," Carolyn said as he walked away. She was kidding…sort of.

Derek rolled his eyes. "My mother is feeding you again?" he joked.

Mark took a huge bite out his breakfast and nodded, "She says I'm her favorite son and you're a weakling. How could you not finish your breakfast?" Mark asked.

"Hey, I finished," Derek said defensively.

"That's what she said," Mark joked as they headed out the door.

"You're sick," Derek added as they got into his car.

Mark sat in the passenger side, as Derek started the car Mark put his hand on the rear view mirror and moved it so that he could better see the girl running down the street.

"Hey," Derek said, his vision blocked by Mark's hand.

Mark wolf whistled as he looked at the girl running away from them now.

"Your girlfriend sure can run," Mark said as he let go of the mirror.

Derek turned his head and looked at Meredith running down the street in short shorts and sports bra.

He raised his eyebrows as he followed her outline down the street.

Mark laughed, "Told you," he said.

Derek rolled his eyes, immediately grabbing the rear view mirror and readjusting it so that he could see.

"Would it kill you to not stare like that?" Derek asked incredulously as he put the car in reverse.

Mark nodded, "Yeah, it would," he said as they headed the opposite way of Meredith and towards their gym.

_I can rule the world  
Don't care who's around me  
I can fool the world_

::::


	58. Chapter 58

Meredith pushed herself further then she had run in a long time. Caffeine helped her, no doubt it. She could always feel the jolt and knew it helped her running distances. She ran today to find quiet, it was a bit hypocritical since she blasted her IPod to do so but she tended to tune out the music when she was hitting her stride.

Meredith ran back onto her street and up to her driveway, grateful for the time alone and the ability to clear her thoughts, it made her forget just what the hell was going on with her mother this morning. She had never seen Ellis Grey so vulnerable or fragile, if she could even insinuate that Ellis was fragile in any way.

…

Derek and Mark worked out at the gym after starting their morning off with some cardio on the treadmills. It was miniscule distance compared to what Meredith ran but it was enough to get their hearts pumping.

Mark could out lift Derek in almost anything but Derek could always do more reps with his lighter weights.

"So some strange guy shows up at Meredith's house and you don't say a peep?" Mark asked as they walked over to a bench press. Derek had filled him in on the general basics of what had happened the night before.

"He seemed fine."

"He could have been some murderer," Mark said as he laid down on the bench, Derek stood at his head, spotting him.

"He was not a murderer," Derek said, sure of himself. He wasn't ever worried about Meredith's safety last night as the well dressed man who approached her seemed to know her from somewhere.

"Yeah…but you didn't know that yesterday," Mark said, teasing Derek as he lifted the weights over and over again.

"I did know that," Derek argued.

"He could have been…her real boyfriend," Mark joked.

Derek rolled his eyes, "He was old enough to be her father," Derek said.

"Hey, some girls like that," Mark said, running out of breath.

Derek helped him guide the bar back into it's place, "I should have let you drop it," he told Mark in response to his incessant teasing, "That will shut you up."

Mark shook his head, "I'd start emailing you from the hospital," Mark joked. His dark sense of humor always found a laugh from Derek. Others would find it sick and outlandish but Derek found some comfort in the fact that Mark was comfortable enough with the idea of Meredith to joke around about her.

Derek laid down on the bench in Mark's place as they switched spots.

"Tell me," Derek started, "do you lie awake at night and think of these terrible jokes?"

Mark smiled a cocky grin as he looked at himself in the floor to ceiling mirror located in front of them.

"No, I'm just that brilliant. I come up with them for you."

Derek scoffed, "Well, I'm truly blessed," he added sarcastically.

Mark looked down at Derek, "Struggling there Shep?" he asked, insinuating that the weights they had chosen were too much for him to handle.

"You wish," Derek said as they finished up their workout.

::::

Both Derek and Meredith had started off their days thinking of ways to unwind, run away or wash off the night before. Derek wanted to be let into to Meredith's world but he knew it would take time. He had never realized that this relationship was going to take a bit of getting used to. He didn't mind though, he'd wait for Meredith. Meredith just wanted to live in denial for a few blissful hours. De Nile was not just a river in Egypt, it was its own freaking place and she had taken up permanent residence there after her father had run out on her.

She decided though, that she couldn't live there forever and that eventually she would have to come out and face reality, she knew now that she did not have to face it alone. There was comfort in the thought that she could see what real people lived like, with Derek. All that honesty and sharing business that everybody raved about was about to be put to good use.

::::

Derek was surprised to see that his phone had a message on it. He had gotten home from the gym and hopped in the shower, his sisters and mom were all out shopping. It was nice to be home in the quiet for a little while.

It was from Meredith, which surprised him even more. He had thought that surely he would have to be the one to make the first move and text or call her after the night before, even though he didn't want to pressure her he thought it would take a little coaxing for her to come around.

**I'm free later tonight if you want to spend time together,** she had written him. It was easy, open ended and harmless. He could write anything back he wanted to.

**Definitely. What were you thinking? **Derek asked, wondering what exactly she wanted to do/

Meredith wrote back almost immediately, clearly she had a plan, he thought.

**Just take a drive, I guess.**__ She wrote him, all she wanted to do in reality was talk. Time to bite the bullet, she thought to herself.

::::

Derek had written Meredith back that they should take a drive, and that he would pick her up at noon. It was still early in the day and he thought this would give her time to get ready.

Meredith spent her morning making breakfast and lounging around in her robe as she watched TV. She was glad Derek said noon. She needed time to get ready, mentally. She decided to herself that she would explain to Derek who that man yesterday was and why her mother was so particularly evil

She looked at the clock and saw it was 11:30. In a normal world, she would have just waited until 11:50 to go upstairs and change, allowing herself to be late but Derek was eerily on time or early every single time. With a groan she headed up the stairs, letting out a deep breath, wondering how Derek would react to her putting everything on the line. That was, after all what she was doing. She would lay it all out on the table and spill her guts, every detail from her miserable childhood birthdays to years of being home alone and she would gauge his reaction. Would he run away screaming? She wondered as she slipped into her favorite pair of jeans. She sifted through her clothes in her closet until she found the plaid shirt she was looking for. It was flannel and super soft after being worn so many times. She grabbed a pair of socks as she headed down the stairs and put them on along with her Converse chucks. The doorbell rang, like clockwork. She checked the clock above the mantle. **11:48**. Meredith rolled here eyes. _Should have told him 12:15._ she joked to herself as she opened the door.

He looked good in a green tshirt and faded jeans. Derek smiled as he saw Meredith. She looked beautiful as ever. Meredith didn't say a word and just hugged him, breathing in his good smelling cologne. Derek was a little surprised but he embraced her, placing his chin on the top of her head. Meredith relaxed into him as she closed her eyes and let out a deep breath.

She let go slowly, Derek smiled. "Ready?" she asked as she smiled a half smile. Derek nodded, not sure exactly what they were up to.

::::

I know it's been almost a month.

BF is completely healed now, after his accident. (Yay!)

I am getting ready to move 150 miles from home. Everyone I love at my job is leaving or has left. So I don't feel so bad about leaving there, I'm almost glad now, it's a sigh of relief.

Just trying not to stress out about everything.

I'll be updating this more now,

Viv


	59. Chapter 59

_"Ready?"_ Meredith asked Derek as she smiled her half smile, the kind that let Derek know she was waiting for a response from him. Derek nodded, not exactly sure what they were up to…not that he minded. He would walk to Mexico with Meredith if she would suggest it.

"Yeah," Derek said as he closed the door behind him, letting Meredith lock it while he walked down the first few steps. She caught up almost immediately, looking ahead to his car on the street.

"Just a drive?" Derek asked as he looked to over to Meredith who was staring straight ahead, she nodded in silence as he opened the car door for her, making his way to his side a little slowly.

_Where do you want to go? _Meredith asked herself in her head, mimicking what she was sure Derek would ask. _Well, I don't know Derek…see I don't think that far ahead,_ she joked to herself as he stepped into the car.

"Listen, I don't know where the scenic routes or whatever are in Seattle seeing as I don't have a car and my mother's definition of taking a drive would probably be in the back of an ambulance," Meredith spit out before Derek could even put the key in the ignition.

Derek laughed a small laugh before he turned the car on, "I know a few places," he said, easing her worries a bit as he put the car in drive, heading straight down their street.

Meredith relaxed into her seat and let out a deep breath. _This is it, _she told herself, _here are my heart and soul Derek Shepherd…please grind them into hamburger and enjoy_.

"Seattle's beautiful, especially when right after it rains," Derek said, easing them into conversation.

Meredith smiled, "It is," she said as she nodded, "I love the way the asphalt smells after the rain."

Derek smiled; glad to be learning little details about her.

Derek headed up towards the hills and mountains of Seattle, places where he would take hikes with his family when he was younger.

Meredith enjoyed the green surroundings, courtesy of Seattle rains.

"You've been around here before?" Meredith asked Derek as he navigated the roads as if they were familiar to him.

"A few times," he admitted, "it has a great trail."

Meredith nodded, selfishly thinking about how great it would be to go running here alone…forgetting in that moment that she was not alone.

"You seem distracted," Derek admitted as he parked the car. It was a quiet ten minute car ride to him. The silences were not uncomfortable to him though, he was content with just listening to the roar of the engine and occasionally glancing at Meredith.

"Just enjoying the ride," Meredith said as she stepped out of the car, taking a small spin on her heel as she surveyed her surroundings. The sky was overcast and grey but there was no rain yet. The surroundings were lush and green, vivid hues of green scattered on leaves of trees and the beautiful hunter green shade of the grass beneath the trees was beautiful as well. _Who could hate Seattle?_ She asked herself as she heard Derek's footsteps behind her.

"You just want to walk?" she asked him.

Derek nodded, "You lead I follow," he said with a wink.

"You're the one who's been here before, Derek" she reminded him as she stepped forward, unsure of which direction she should take…there were several dirt pathways leading to god knows what.

"They all lead to the same place," Derek said with a chuckle, "it _really_ is up to you." He said with a smile.

Meredith pursed her lips and walked ahead to the center pathway in front of them she turned to face him, shrugging, asking him if it was okay.

"Best looking path," he joked.

Meredith laughed as Derek caught up to her. She immediately reached for his hand without even looking at him, as if it were instinctual.

Derek squeezed back, her hand was warm, she was warm.

_Don't get used to it Meredith,_ she scolded herself, _watch him run back to the car after this, _she thought to herself.

"I like running…a lot. I'm an avoider by nature so it's sad irony there, " she started, gauging his reaction. Derek took his eyes off the horizon as he looked into Meredith's eyes as they kept walking, passing a few people who were jogging. Derek opened his mouth to say something but Meredith kept going, "It's also pathetic because my dad ran out on me when I was younger…on my birthday and I…I was devastated. I never really understood why he did it and my mother never really acted as if it mattered. I think she fell out of love with him long before…though I can never remember them being in love exactly…he loved her a lot, and then he feared her...," Meredith said as Derek listened intently, "My mother is a scary woman. She's self centered and selfish and doesn't care about anything other then that stupid hospital…she cheated on my father for years and I finally figure that out about a year ago. Which is pretty much why I think he left. The guy was a doctor…her whole life had become that hospital, she played doctor there and I guess she played house too and there was no more room there for my father. Not only did he run out but my mom pushed him away…a lot. Thing is, I always thought he would come back for me. Sort of, save me from the wicked step mother. But he never did, he never came back," Meredith added as she let out a deep breath, looking at Derek, worried about his reaction. He had listened intently and nodded at certain parts, shook his head at the saddest parts and smiled at her attempt at dark humor.

Derek took her other hand in his as well and led her to an empty bench, if she was going to pour her heart out to him, he wanted no distractions.

Meredith sat down and crossed her legs Indian style as she faced him; he mirrored her as they were facing each other, inches apart from one another.

"Should I keep going?" She asked, _did he want to know?_ She asked herself.

Derek nodded, "If you want to…I want you to," he added.

Meredith nodded, _maybe he's as crazy as I am_, she laughed to herself.

"That man, last night…that's _the_ doctor. The one she had an affair with or is having an affair with. He's married too, but my mother doesn't seem to care about the lives she destroys, just the ones she saves. She stopped coming home as often once my dad left and she stopped mothering as well, I got surgical dolls with removable organs instead of Barbies and the time I spent out of school was spent in the hospital day care until I could take care of myself." Meredith felt she could go on with Derek there. He hadn't let go of her hands since they had arrived. It was reassuring and comforting at the same time. "It's not as if I see her more now, we barely see each other. It's like some pathetic roommate situation except she flips the bill for everything because she doesn't spend any of her money since she never leaves that god forsaken hospital…I used to resent it so much because I thought they were keeping her there but then I realized that she _wanted_ to be there…After that, I finally figured out we have neighbors," she said with a desperate laugh, "I wasn't home enough to realize that there were actual people living next door."

"Cristina," Derek said.

"Yeah, I met Cristina and we clicked. She was the only one who didn't make fun of my surgical doll at school, she wanted to steal it," Meredith said with a smile. "She's my best friend…she might be my only friend… I was never really the social butterfly…I don't like parties either…the last one I had was the one where my dad walked out," Meredith said, trying to come up with more but falling short…that was the reader's digest version of her craptastic life, until Derek, she thought.

Derek searched her face, she definitely wasn't thinking anymore, her eyes flickered up and down from their hands to his face when she did, he noted and now she was just staring at him.

"So…that's who I am, in a nutshell…damaged I guess," she said as she looked at Derek, waiting for a reaction.

Derek shook his head, "No," he said biting his lower lip.

_No? _she asked herself, _No, I don't want to be with you Meredith, you're certifiable…just say it Derek. Quick and painless…well maybe quick,_ she thought as he interrupted her thoughts.

"That's _not_ who you are. You are Meredith Grey and though by all accounts your mother is the meanest person you know, she is not a reflection of who _you _are. You are a good and kind person. And your father is the dumbest person to not come back for you. But you are smart, beautiful, and Cristina may be your only friend but she's a true friend. There aren't a lot of people like that, Mark's my only friend in that case…" he said, it was true, and he was there for Derek like no other person in his life.

"So…you don't want to…walk away? Because that's just the tip of the iceberg." Meredith said as she stared at their hands.

"There's more?" Derek joked with her.

Meredith rolled her eyes, "You say that now…"

"Whatever it is, I can take it," he reassured her as he kissed her softly.

"So I should keep going?" she half joked.

"If you want to."

Meredith shook her head, "Not today."

Derek nodded.

"But I do want to hear about you," she said with a smile, curious about _his _personal life.

_Dreams last so long  
even after you're gone  
I know you love me  
And soon you will see  
You were meant for me  
And I was meant for you._

_:::::_

Registered for classes this week and have the worst schedule for next semester. Boo for Junior transfers getting next to last priority during registration.

Oh, well.

I move in three weeks :)


	60. Chapter 60

"But I do want to hear about you," she said with a smile, curious about _his _personal life. To Meredith, Derek always seemed like the picture of suburban perfection. Or at least that was the way his family seemed from the outside. They had the perfectly manicured lawn that was the envy of all the neighbors and a house full of smart, perfect children, Meredith assumed.

"Well I'm boring," Derek joked, trying to lighten the mood.

Meredith raised her eyebrows in feigned disapproval. "Boring!" she said jokingly, pretending to get up and leave him as Derek pulled her back down by her hand. "Well, if you're boring Derek, then I'll just leave. I didn't sign on for boring," she joked with him. Making sarcasm at her own (in her mind pathetic) life.

Derek laughed at her small joke, he was glad she wasn't crying hysterically or pacing about the room the way his sisters would when they would rant to each other. She was calm and collected, a face of hers he was sure he would never tire of.

"Well, not entirely boring," Derek said, moving on….he didn't know where to begin and searched around the park for answers. On the far side of the park were a mother and child walking hand in hand with a dog. _Okay, _Derek thought, _starting point. _"I'm gonna tell you. All right. My mother's maiden name, Maloney. I have four sisters. They're all crazy," he said with a laugh, "I like…coffee ice cream but I don't like coffee which I'm told incessantly by them is 'weird'. Uhhh…I like cars and not just looking at them but taking them apart, driving them and fixing them. I do the crossword puzzles in the Sunday paper but I usually cheat. I never dance in public. Um, favorite novel, The Sun Also Rises. Favorite Band, The Clash. My favorite color is blue. I don't like light blue, indigo. The scar right here on my forehead, that's why I am forbidden from riding motorcycles anymore, and why my mother didn't speak to Mark Sloan for a year. And I could care less about the crowd I hang out with at school. I never cared about popularity; the girls just flocked to Mark since junior high and with them came attention. So I never really chose that life…it chose me…by proxy," he said with a final half hearted laugh.

Meredith nodded…."The Clash? Really Derek? You can do better then that." She said shaking her head in disapproval.

"Hey, The Clash is a good band," Derek said, defending himself.

"The Ramones are a good band, The Clash is not," Meredith said self assuredly.

"Agree to disagree?" Derek offered.

Meredith shook her head, "No, agree to frown on your poor music choices," she said with a laugh as she got up off the bench and extended her hand again to him.

"Back to the car?" he asked, curious as to what she wanted. He could never really tell just by looking at her. It was as if she was a duck on the pond, calm on the surface always and peddling fast out of sight. She could have has a panic attack on the inside and he would never know. He would have to learn to read her better, in time he decided to himself that eventually he would learn to do it much better then he did it now.

"A walk?" she asked as Derek looked up at the sky as the dark clouds that define Seattle skies were slowly rolling in.

"What, is your perfect hair made of sugar?" she joked.

Derek shook his head and rolled his eyes a bit as he got up and followed her. "Perfect hair?" he asked, "You think my hair's perfect?" he asked half jokingly.

"I was being sarcastic Derek, don't be full of yourself," she said with a smile as he laughed a little. He took her hand as they walked along the path in silence. A comfortable silence, made only better by the fact that they now knew more about each other then before. He knew it would be a struggle to get her to open up completely because she had never had anyone to do that to before and he promised himself that he would become that person for her. And he hoped that she would be that for him too. She was different from the other girls he interacted with. He believed, fully, that if he would tell her secrets or embarrassing facts she would never repeat them the way the other girls at his school would spread it like wild fire. Meredith was like a safe.

After ten minutes of walking Derek finally broke their silence.

"You're kind of hard to get to know Meredith, you know that right?" Derek asked, being frank with her.

"Yeah well the extent of pouring my heart out went to a court appointed therapist after my parent's divorce because I refused to speak for three weeks straight. I'm not really well versed in the sharing etiquette," she admitted.

"And Cristina?" Derek asked. He knew that his sisters shared absolutely everything between each other. She and Cristina seemed somewhat of sisters.

"We don't share everything…it's nice that way."

Derek nodded, wondering to himself if he shared everything with one single person….he could only think of Mark, and even then it was encased in testosterone and served with a heaping side of sarcasm. But he knew if he wanted to, he could talk to Mark about anything. Mark was Derek's Cristina it seemed.

Derek and Meredith made their way back to the car after a long walk that looped around the trail several times. It was as if he lost track of how far they were going even though they didn't speak much. It was a new experience for him. With others in the same situation it would have been deemed boring but with Meredith it was new and different from anything then he had ever really done. He could imagine walking with her for the rest of his life, he couldn't imagine ever tiring of it.

"Four sisters?" Meredith asked as Derek sat in the driver seat and buckled his seat belt.

"Four sisters", Derek said as he started the car.

"God, you must have been drowning in estrogen," she said with a slight laugh.

"Must have been?" Derek asked incredulously, "Present tense, am drowning in estrogen," he joked.

Meredith smiled.

"You should meet them, I mean they are a little in your face but they mean well, usually." Derek said, gauging her reaction. She didn't seem spooked and her face seemed relaxed but he reminded himself that for all he knew it wasn't underneath it all.

"Sure," Meredith said with a smile, _a real family, _she thought to herself, _what the hell is that like?_ She wondered to herself.

"Really?" Derek asked.

"Don't sound so surprised Derek Shepherd, I'm not allergic to family."

"No, what…I was just making sure…"

"I was kidding," she said, putting her hand on his knee, cutting him off.

"Right," Derek said, trying to play it cool.

Meredith turned away from him and looked out the window as she laughed at him quietly, seeing him get worked up, even for a moment, was kind of fun she thought to herself.

"When?" she asked, interrupting their silence at a four way stop.

"Tomorrow night?" Derek asked, he could, by then he thought tell them to behave themselves.

"Sure," she said nodding. "What are you doing tonight?" she asked.

"My dad's coming home a bit early, I promised him we would work on that skeleton of a car in the garage, I'm sorry," he said, making up for the fact that they would not spend time together.

"Don't apologize; he's your dad Derek," Meredith said, looking at him seriously, ""Be happy," she said "and don't feel guilty."

Derek nodded, "Tomorrow though, I'll prepare you for being bombarded by the Shepherd women," he said with a smile.

"Like you would know how to," she joked, "you are seriously out numbered there, your sisters and your mother makes five. _Five_ women who are all to eager to embarrass you with childhood pictures and stories. It's a miracle you've survived this long with your father. Five against two," she pointed out half jokingly.

Derek laughed, "Six," he corrected her.

"Six?" she asked, had he forgotten to mention a sister? She asked herself

"Even the dog is a girl," Derek joked.

"Oh you poor poor boys."

Derek smiled at her good sense of humor as they pulled into his neighborhood.

"You can just drop me off at your house, mine's not too far, I'll walk," Meredith said as they neared his driveway.

"You sure?" Derek asked.

"It's broad daylight Derek," she mentioned as if him offering to drive her home was ridiculous.

"Okay, I can walk with you," he offered.

_Always chivalrous, _she thought to herself, _he really did grow up in a house full of females._

"Sure." She said as they pulled into their driveway, Derek cut the engine as he saw Mark walking up his driveway right behind his car. Mark smiled arrogantly as Derek was opening the door for Meredith.

Derek almost laughed at the timing Mark had.

Meredith waved to Mark, "Hey," she said.

"Hey Meredith."

"Mark," Derek said brusquely, "How'd you know I was home?" Derek asked.

"Well," Mark said as he walked up to Derek and slapped his shoulder, "I didn't, but the Lord works in mysterious ways," he joked. Mark was the least religious person that Derek knew and Derek laughed out loud at his idiocy.

Derek nodded.

Mark cut the silence quickly, "Meredith it's nice to see you again, it's a shame you've chosen Derek to hang out with," he joked at the expense of Derek.

"Well, I'm naïve," she quipped back. Mark laughed, "I like her Derek. Did I tell you I like her?" he asked Derek.

Derek shook his head, "No, you didn't."

"So what are the two love birds up to?" Mark asked.

"I was going to walk Meredith home," Derek said.

Derek's sentence was interrupted by his cell phone ringing, it was his mother.

Mark smiled as Derek answered it, Mark walked down the driveway, he hated eavesdropping on cell phone conversations. Derek held the receiver against his shoulder as he apologized to Meredith, telling her he had to go inside because his mother needed help with something inside.

Meredith smiled. He apologized for Mark's immaturity as well.

"I kind of like it," Meredith said, in a friendly way of course, "It's kind of fun," she said as she joined Mark on the end of the driveway.

"Bye," she said as she passed him and walked up the street to her house.

"Hey Grey," Mark yelled after her.

Meredith turned around, "Yeah?" she asked as Mark jogged a few paces to catch up with her.

"Need company?" he asked.

Meredith pursed her lips and looked Mark up and down.

"Depends," she said.

"On what exactly?" Mark asked as he raised an eyebrow, he was sure Meredith wasn't _that_ kind of girl.

"What do you know about the she-Shepherds?" she asked.

Mark nodded, "Everything" he said as he put a hand on Meredith's shoulder, ushering her homeward bound, he would tell her everything she wanted to hear, it was her to benefit, he thought. Meredith was like a little sister to him. A hot sister, but a sister all the same. She was Derek's girl, untouchable in his mind anyway.

"Perfect," Meredith said as they walked forward, "Cause I might need it," she admitted as she got out her house key.

_Come on and break down and show us who you are.  
Memorable first impressions only get you far,  
When you stay true, from beginning to end.  
Flexing all your morals, your environment will bend back,  
As you bend crooked._

_:::::_

Yeah, I know I've been MIA. Who knew going to a top ten school in gets you a shit load of homework haha. But anywhoo I think I've figured out the whole unbelievable amounts of reading and writing for homework and I will update this, to escape from that ;).

Looking forward to more updating,

Vivian


	61. Chapter 61

"Okay so let's go over it one more time," Mark insisted as he sat back on the couch in Meredith's family room. She had broken out the easel and huge pad of paper she used to draw on as a kid, including different colored markers. It looked as if a young child had taken over the once blank sheet of paper. I t wasn't pretty, Meredith had obviously inherited her mother's doctor hand writing because Mark could barely make out what it said below each of Meredith's ambiguous stick figures, had they not had skirts on, they would definitely have been male stick figures, Mark thought to himself . There were five stick figures with names underneath them, ages and various facts, written in various colors.

Meredith nodded as she closed her eyes and paced the room, making sure not to glance at her make shift cheat sheet that she made with the help of Mark. He had given her the run down; names, ages, hair colors (all brown, that didn't help, Meredith thought), and personalities of each of Derek's five sisters.

"I got it right last time, damnit!" Meredith said, clearly frustrated.

Mark laughed at her anger; she was funny when she was pissed.

"Just do it, Grey," Mark said, stifling a laugh. "If you know it then it shouldn't be a problem."

"Fine," Meredith groaned, inaudibly, but Mark saw her mouth it, it only entertained him further.

"Well…let's hear it," Mark said, egging her on, she took a moment to open her eyes, glance at him and roll her eyes before she closed them back again. It helped her concentrate.

"Okay…I'll start from the youngest."

Mark nodded, not that she could see it.

"Amelia," Meredith started, "snarky sarcasm, blue eyes-like Derek's, meddles into everything, no privacy with her, also no secrets cause 'that's a crap shoot'," she said, mocking Mark's assessment of Amy, as he referred to her, "no calling her Amy, apparently only you get that right, ummm….she and Derek are pretty close because she seems to be more involved in his life then he is."

Mark kept nodding.

"Emily, one year older then Amelia…Jesus, Derek's parents were busy," she said, laughing a bit, "brown eyes, curly hair, wants to be a dancer, which is different then the other she-Shepherds who are brainiacs and book worms. She's also the only one that's as tall as Derek. Okay…then there's Tara; kind of the rebel, I guess. Brown hair, blue eyes but she dyes it fiery red and is pre-veterinary medicine, or aspires to be. Loves animals, short temper, very blunt. And then there's Nancy, oldest, most serious, most distant from Derek. Short pixie hair, not friendly, with anyone."

Meredith opened her eyes and looked at Mark.

"That was right?" she said, searching his face for an answer.

Mark raised his eyebrow.

"It _was _right. I know it!"

Mark laughed, "Yeah, it was right. And it only took a half hour and you know them. You could go to Harvard with Derek," Mark said, half kidding. It was no mystery, to everyone but Derek's dad, that he didn't want to go to Harvard.

"Well I would, but I love Seattle," Meredith said sarcastically.

"Well then there goes your relationship, it's a shame really."

"Gee thanks," she said in feigned disbelief to Mark.

"Now," mark said, as he got up off the couch and gave Meredith a high five, "we can throw out your hideous art work," he said as he ripped her colorful paper off of the easel and crumpled it up.

"Ugly?"

Mark nodded, "Your writing is chicken shit, at best," Mark said, laughing. "I thought chicks were supposed to have nice writing."

"Oh, and I thought jocks were supposed to be shallow and stupid…oh wait…you are," she said, joking to him.

Mark shook his head, "Well, I _am_ shallow," he said admittedly. "And your writing _is_ ugly," he said as he headed to the kitchen to throw the crumpled paper into the waste basket under the sink.

"At least you know it," She said as she opened the fridge and threw him a bottle of water, a little too hard, letting it smack him in the chest a bit, Mark coughed and played it off. He knew she did it on purpose.

"Yeah, we can't all live in denial Grey," Mark said with a cocky grin as he opened his bottle.

"You say that because you've never been to denial, it's a beautiful place," she joked.

Mark smiled. For once he could actually carry on a conversation with a girl and didn't have to wait for them to get their feelings hurt.

"You're kind of like a guy," he said with a chuckle.

Meredith raised an eyebrow, "Uhh…thanks?" she asked, unsure of what he meant.

"I meant your easy going…it's a good thing."

Meredith nodded, "Thanks, I guess," she said, still somewhat confused by his statement. Mark Sloan had a slight case of word vomit.

"So…Derek's family if pretty tight knit," Mark said, changing the subject.

Meredith hopped up onto the counter as she listened to Mark talk.

"Yeah?" she asked.

"Yeah, they're all for family game nights, Pictionary and what not…you shouldn't play though, god knows what your drawing looks like," he teased Meredith.

"Shut up, my writing is not that bad. So what, I have boy writing, and I'm proud of it," she said triumphantly.

"Good. You hungry?" Mark asked.

Meredith shrugged, "I could eat," she said hopping off the counter that was all the invitation she needed.

_Like a guy, _Mark thought good humouredly to himself. "Let's go eat," he said as he followed her out the door.

_Tonight I'll dream while I'm in bed  
when silly thoughts go through my head  
about the bugs and alphabet  
and when I wake tomorrow I'll bet  
that you and I will walk together again  
cause I can tell that we're going to be friends _

_::::_

Told you I'd update :)

I'm on a break from classes for a couple of hours. Back to university.

I'm flirting with the idea of being jobless- just kidding. I am having a bit of trouble finding a job. :(


	62. Chapter 62

"I'm glad Derek found you," Mark said as he threw out their trash from the double cheeseburgers, fries and milkshakes they had consumed. Mark was an athlete and was always loading up on calories to burn. Meredith was a slender girl, half his size but easily ate as much as Mark. She was runner, he knew that but he had never known any other girl to eat as much as her. He thought it funny, he could think of two dozen girls at school he knew who would eat a pear and a rice cake and call it a meal but she was different. She didn't count calories and meticulously write them down and he could bet that she was in better shape than all of them.

"Found _me?"_ she asked, "as I remember _I _ran into him and I mean _physically _ran into him." Meredith said, shaking her head, remembering her spastic moment, sure that Derek would think she was a mental patient.

Mark laughed, "Yeah, I _vaguely_ remember that," Mark said, pursing his lips.

"As in not at all?" She asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Yeah, not at all," he laughed, "It takes me like three weeks to get used to a locker combination at school so don't take this personally," he said honestly.

"I'll try not to," she said as she ran a finger from the corner of her eye down her cheek, making a mock tear all while smiling.

"I think you'll do fine tomorrow night at family dinner with the Shepherds," he admitted, not that he ever thought she had to worry.

"It's been a very long time since I've had family dinner," she admitted. She was just glad for the potential experience.

"I hear ya Grey," Mark said as she joined him in walking down the side walk. He walked a step in front of her as she caught up. Meredith wondered about Mark's family. Where were they? Why were they never home? Mark tended to have parties at his house and that didn't scream wholesome parents who are always home. He was always with Derek, joining the Shepherds as a make shift second son. Mark walked away so fast she knew not to press the subject or bring it up. After all, she thought, no one likes to talk about how crappy their life might be.

"So…what do you want to do now?" She asked, finally having caught up to him, he had a straight face, no sign of sadness or anger towards anything. He had his usually cocky smile plastered to his face.

"Well, I'll do anything you want me to," he joked, in usual crude guy humor. He never really meant it with her. It was all just a joke, and he knew that she wouldn't get offended by them.

Meredith rolled her eyes, "Does that crap ever work Mark?"

Mark laughed, "Why wouldn't it?" he said, not losing any confidence. Meredith found his inflated ego humorous.

"God knows," Meredith mumbled, shaking her head.

"I get by on my good looks, charm and the brilliance that pops off the top of my head," he said, half jokingly.

Meredith laughed out loud, Mark joined in for a few seconds before realizing she was laughing _at _him.

"Yeah, cause that _always _works," she said sarcastically.

Mark shrugged, "Most of the time."

"Well, good for you."

"You dating Derek don't hurt either," Mark admitted as they walked back towards her house.

"How's that?" Meredith asked, looking at him.

"Mark scratched the back of his head, "Well, the girls at school like Derek, but since your dating him they'll _all_ just have to fight over me," he said with a wink, jokingly.

"Oh, poor you," she joked.

Mark nodded, "Somehow I think I'll get by."

"You never said what you wanted to do," she reminded him.

"I was going to go running later, if you wanted to come. I know you went this morning..." he said, offering an out.

"I can go again," she said, "Burgers might slow me down, you can keep up this time," she said, poking fun at him.

"How far do you usually go?"

Meredith shrugged, "It depends, it's usually depending on stress."

Mark nodded, "the further you go…the worse it is?"

"Basically," Meredith admitted.

"It's a nice release," Mark admitted, running was her drug of choice, maybe he's get addicted too.

"There was a time, when…I don't know, a few months back. Things were particularly tough with my mother. I was running twice a day, every day…like seventeen miles. Just, getting up and going and going because…I don't know…anything felt better then arguing with her," she said, looking over at Mark, waiting for a reaction. _Meredith you're crazy, you need help, what is wrong with you_, were all options she thought she would hear from his lips.

"That's pretty damn crazy," he said with a nod. _Hmm, _Meredith thought, _he doesn't think I am crazy._

"Yeah," she said, looking up the street.

"We're not doing seventeen miles today," he joked.

"Good, I don't need it. Maybe just ten?" she offered.

"Sure," he said, "I'll walk you home and I'll come by in an hour or so, pick you up?"

Meredith nodded, "Yeah, sounds good," she said as they walked towards her house.

"So, your friend Cristina," Mark said, gauging her reaction.

"Good luck Mark, she'll eat you alive…then again that might be kind of entertaining." Meredith said with a giggle.

Mark looked at Meredith in disbelief.

"Oh, Mark," she said shaking her head, "I'll invite her to come running with us, but I am not responsible for how she treats you."

Mark smiled as they reached her house, "That's okay, I can handle it," he said.

Meredith nodded, "We'll see," she said as she headed up the stairs, Mark headed down the street, walking by Cristina's and looking at her house, what was it about her, he thought to himself, _I guess I like the bad girls, _ he thought.

Meredith laughed all the way up the stairs with amusement as she dialed Cristina's number.

"What?" Cristina said on the other line after two rings.

"You should come running with me," Meredith said as she dug through her closet, grabbing docks, a t-shirt and shorts.

"Why?"

"Because I'm going with Mark Sloan and the only thing better then me running better then him is me and you," she admitted.

"Yeah, sure but we're not doing a marathon, are we?"

"Hey, running is good for you. Running gives you endorphins…endorphins are good. Endorphins are mood elevators. This is supposed to make us feel good!" Meredith said as she laid down on her bed.

"I feel fine, see I don't need it," Cristina said, being difficult.

"You can get away from your mother," Meredith offered.

Cristina groaned on the other line, "I'm not wearing those booty shorts you do. If I want a guy staring at my ass for an hour I would just go to the public pool," she said as the line clicked.

Meredith smiled, she won in her mind, and because that was the happiest reaction she would get out of Cristina.

:::::

Cristina was stretching at bottom of the stairs of Meredith's house- putting her leg on the railing as she reached her toes and switched sides.

"Cristina." Mark said from behind her.

"Great," Cristina mumbled, "Let the ass staring begin," she groaned, not even turning around.

"Okay," she said audibly.

Mark raised his eyebrows, she certainly wasn't social.

Meredith opened the door just in time, skipping down the stairs in her booty shorts as Cristina called them. Cristina on the other hand was wearing yoga pants.

Meredith smiled at Mark and grabbed Cristina, "those are worse then booty shorts," she said, remarking the tightness of her pants. Cristina laughed, "I wore them because my mother said it makes me look like I'm giving _it_ away for _free_," she said with a laugh.

Meredith laughed.

Meredith smiled at Mark, "Which way do you want to go?" she asked.

"You lead, I follow," he said, "How are you Cristina?" he tried.

Cristina looked Mark up and down, making him feel a bit self conscious (not a feeling he was used to), "Fine," she answered.

"Chatty," he said to Meredith quietly, she laughed and shook her head, mouthing 'I told you' to him as they walked at a fast pace, warming up for their long run.

_I wouldn't if I were you  
I know what she can do  
She's deadly man, she could really rip your world apart  
Mind over matter  
Ooh, the beauty is there but a beast is in the heart  
(Oh-oh, here she comes) Watch out boy she'll chew you up  
(Oh-oh, here she comes) She's a maneater_

::::::

Little ode to last night's Mark moment with Callie where they talk about his brilliance and charm lol.

Ughhh the job hunt is fruitless thus far.

And I have three papers and three midterms due next week.

JOYS of my life lol.


	63. Chapter 63

"_Good luck with the she-Shepherds,"_ was the last words Mark had told her yesterday after their run. She had, along with Cristina, royally kicked his ass in their mini marathon. Mark had no idea where they got their adrenaline from but it was from a place he was seriously lacking. It was as if Meredith was up for a marathon even though she had consumed her weight in fast food only an hour before. Cristina of course had given Mark a hard time about everything. It was fun for her, messing with him and she did it for sport more than anything. Mark had lagged ten feet behind them after only two miles in, that's when the onslaught of jokes from Cristina began, everything from "Where'd Mark go?" to "I thought _he_ was a jock" filled the air. On occasion, Mark could hear the insults flying and he would tell Cristina, she would reply with no remorse and a dismissive wave of her hand, "I know" she had told him on several occasions. Meredith was right, there was no real way to describe the way Cristina behaved and somehow he liked it. It didn't matter that she was insulting him left and right, she was focused on him though, or so he thought it was a good thing. Some girls just like to play hard to get he had told himself after he dropped the girls off at Meredith's. He had told them goodnight, wished Meredith good luck and told Cristina thank you for coming- her answer was not a generic thank you by any means, "Whatever" was all she conjured up before darting up her stairs and inside her house. Meredith had rolled her eyes and left Mark with an "I told you so" look. He only smiled as he wished her good luck tomorrow and reminded Meredith to dress nicely, he had after all seen her sweats and torn up jeans and he know the sister Shepherds were more like Addison in their wardrobes then Meredith.

Meredith nodded, _crap_, she thought; one more thing to worry about. She had decided she would raid Cristina's closet tomorrow morning after her mother left. Cristina had dozens of dresses that her mother bought for her, most of which she refused to wear and thankfully she and Cristina were the same size, waif like, her mother had called it. Except when Ellis Grey said it, it sounded like an insult, a sign of weakness.

Meredith decided to take a shower and blow-dry her hair, something she rarely did but she decided the less mangy she looked tomorrow, the better. Her hair would be in playful waves with no frizz this time she decided. This was her first family meal in god knows how long, not that she ever really knew what this experience was like. She was alone, against his sisters, it felt. She hoped, and she thought they would like her. She had grown up on the same street as Derek and never really recalled exactly what his parents looked like so that was moot. She was sure his mother was as warm as she raised her son to be, and she was sure that his mother valued manners because Derek was always a gentleman. His father on the other hand, was a mystery to her- he was the man that let Derek have his Porsche in exchange for going to Harvard, although Derek wasn't set on that yet it seemed.

Meredith took a deep breath as she texted Cristina her request to raid her closet, her response was "Take whatever you want, better yet keep it." Meredith laughed; her mother's requests for her to dress as ladylike as possible had obviously fallen short with Cristina, she lived in jeans and t-shirts while her mother filled her closet with skirts and dresses from notable designers. She hoped her daughter would be somewhat like her but the only thing they had in common was their last names and even that, her mother had given up when she married her step-father. Cristina didn't mind though, she like the guy, he kept his distance when he had to with her and he was warm when Cristina would spend time with him. He may not have been flesh and blood like her mother, but she wished that he had been.

Meredith resorted to sitting in bed and watching TV in her pajamas as she tried not psyching herself out about the following day. Derek texted her, _"Can't wait for tomorrow. Don't worry, they're going to love you,"_ he had written her, simple words, and probably generic for the situation but it made Meredith feel much better and more at ease. She fell asleep quickly and woke up in the morning and trekked to Cristina's in her pajamas to raid her closet. Cristina was upstairs and Meredith let herself in, noticing that Cristina's mother was not home. Otherwise, she would insist Cristina greet her guest, even though it was only Meredith. Meredith darted up the stairs towards Cristina's room, it had a small walk in closet, only a small section of which she actually utilized, the rest was filled with clothes that still had their price tags on them, she doubted even her mother could remember everything in her closet. Meredith smiled at Cristina a nervous smile. "I literally don't know what to wear, this isn't like those girls who stand in front of their mirror in a full get up and say it. I _literally do not_ know what to wear," Meredith said with a sigh. "Definitely not those," Cristina said, looking at Meredith's pajamas.

"Well, that much I know," Meredith said as Cristina followed her into her closet.

"By the way," Cristina said, "I know nothing of this," she said as she gestured toward the racks of clothing, "whole thing. I'm no….'fashionista."

"I'm standing here in plaid boxer shorts and a wife beater even though it's about to rain outside. What does that make me?" Meredith asked half jokingly.

"Brave?" Cristina said with a laugh.

"Sure," Meredith said.

"You going for a dress?"

"I don't know."

"Skirt?"

"No?" Meredith asked utterly confused.

"He has a lot of sisters."

"Thanks, that's not helping."

"Well okay, you have to look put together but not like you are trying to hard, I think the she-Shepherds would notice that. So definitely nothing to dressy."

"Okay," Meredith said, feeling as if they were making minute progress. "You have more experience with shopping than I do."

"Being forced to go shopping is not the same as liking it and knowing what to do."

"Right."

"It's also summer, overcast, half-raining barely any sun out Seattle summer but summer nonetheless. No sweaters, turtle necks or crap like that. They'll think you're an idiot, that or you have hickeys to hide," Cristina said with a laugh.

"Yeah, 'hi Mrs. Shepherd, I'm the slut your son is dating'? Can't you tell from my nice turtle neck?" Meredith said with a laugh, exaggerating Cristina's far fetched claims.

"Well, he looks like he'd be a good kisser."

"Shut up."

"I wonder if the sisters have the hair," Cristina said.

"The hair?"

"You know, the thick dark wavy mane…McDreamy hair."

"Probably," Meredith said as she sifted through the rack of nice blouses and shirts Cristina had."

"Don't wear heels, you have nice flats."

Meredith nodded, "Yeah that works."

"I have a nice pair of jeans my mom bought the other day that seriously don't fit me, they only exaggerate my flat ass," Cristina said, throwing a pair of dark wash jeans Meredith's way.

"I can't take these! They're Armani, I know enough to know that's like a car payment."

"Relax, it's Armani Exchange."

Meredith raised her eyebrows in confusion.

"It's like the difference between check and check mate. Definitely not a car payment, so try them on and shut up. Plus no ones going to sneak a peak at the tag on the inside breathe Mer."

Meredith rolled her eyes as she put the jeans over her shoulder, needing something to go with them, designer jeans and a wife beater were not that good together, she needed something to make them look like they belonged together.

Cristina grabbed a shopping bag from off of the floor, brand new clothes she hadn't yet worn.

"This is pretty good. It's skinny fit," she said, holding a Ralph Lauren Oxford shirt with ¾ length sleeves, "for your skinny ass," Cristina said with a laugh. "But…wear an undershirt so you don't look like his mother, and leave I don't know, a button or two unbuttoned on top."

"You're better at this then you think Yang," Meredith said as she ran her finger over the small logo on the chest of the shirt. "All I need is a camisole under, but I have that."

"You're not going anywhere," Cristina said, as she shoved Meredith into the middle of the closet, threw a bright coral colored camisole at her and closet the door on her way out.

"You're mean," Meredith joked.

"Hey, I get to see what you look like, it's only fair" Cristina said as she laid down on her bed and stared at the ceiling. Meredith groaned as she picked the camisole up from the floor of the closet and changed into Cristina's clothing.

:::::::

"I'll come pick you up," Derek said on the phone with Meredith as he was laying his clothes out on his bed. It was almost time for her to meet his family. His sisters had spent the afternoon interrogating him about who she was what she looks like and why now for the first time he had voluntarily brought a girl home. Addison was the only other girl that came over, and she only came because Nancy had invited her, not Derek.

"It's fine Derek, you only live down the street."

"Yeah but I don't want you walking alone if you don't have to," he said as he sat down on his bed.

Truth be told their neighborhood was one of the most upscale and definitely the safest community in Seattle. She could walk around in the middle of the night and nothing would happen. He just didn't want her to walk into the lion's den alone.

"Okay," she said. IT was as close as he would get to an actual yes and agreement with him. He smiled as he said goodbye to her and put down the phone to get ready.

:::::

Derek's mother had tried to squeeze information out of her son all day about Meredith but all she could get was a name and the fact that she was great and that he really likes her, a lot, in his words. She could see it in her sons eyes that this was bigger then a crush and more potent than puppy love. He was growing up a little bit and she was somewhat tired of seeing him without a girlfriend. After all there was no shortage of girls that desperately wanted to be with Derek but none that Derek found too worthwhile. Catherine always thought that it would be Addison who he would finally concede to and date but Addison was a little too strong for Derek and Catherine knew it. Men like the chase, or so her husband, Derek's father had always told her as they were dating nearly twenty years ago. This girl, whoever she was, had to be special after all his sisters were like pack animals and they would come together and try to take her down, in their sly ways should she not live up to their expectations. It was Amelia that Catherine was most worried about because she always spoke her mind in condescending tones no matter who the audience. She didn't care what people thought about her and Derek appreciated her brashness compared to Nancy's ways of dancing around the truth. She had told her girls to behave but she knew that that would only mean that they would try to and that their real feelings would after all leak out somehow. She was nervous for Meredith, this girl whom she'd never met.

Derek threw on jeans and a red button up shirt, his good looking shirt, as he ran down the stairs and towards Meredith's house.

Derek passed his dad on the staircase he had recently gotten home from work and was headed upstairs to wash up.

"Where's the fire?" he asked as his son passed him, darting down the stairs.

"I'll be back soon," was all he got out.

"Good luck," Michael told his son, he felt happy that his son was so riled up over something so small.

Derek sat down on the bottom step and put on some shoes as the doorbell rang, he wondered who it was. He knew all of his sisters were home and he thought he made it clear to Meredith that he would be picking her up. He looked at his watch, she was early, or at least she would be if that were her behind the door he thought as he tied his other shoe. It can't be he thought. She's never early.

The door opened before he reached it, "Is that anyway to greet your guest?" he was asked by a familiar husky voice belonging to Mark Sloan. Mark was in dark jeans and a plain black t-shirt. "Mark?" Derek asked, with a tone that begged the question, _What the hell are you doing here?_

"Am I late?" Mark joked in response to Derek's facial expression.

"No, you're here. What are you doing here?"

"Dinner at the Shepherds, like I'd miss out on your mom's lasagna?"

Derek shook his head, "Mark is that you?" they both heard from the kitchen in Caherine's tone of voice.

"Your mother invited me," admitted Mark, "Thought your girl could use an ally," he said with a cocky grin. "But if she asks you can just tell her that I'm the ass that invited myself," Mark said as he slapped Derek on the shoulder and headed towards the kitchen to make himself useful.

Derek shook his head in disbelief, he didn't give his mom enough credit, he would hope that this at least would help Meredith, she had taken a liking to Mark and surely he would provide some much needed support on her side of the table after all, he and Meredith would be the only non-Shepherds at the table.

"Mrs. Shepherd!" Derek heard in the background as he left the house, letting out a deep breath and running a hand through his hair as he walked up the street.

_If we swallow "it's all over" and open wide on these make-to-believe  
Sullen, chewed up, sodden soliloquies,  
Oh, we're sweet nothings anymore_

_::::_

One more week of school after Thanksgiving and then finals and then I can breathe, finally.

Enjoy.


End file.
